So I found out I was put on academic suspension during my semester. During that semester I worked really hard to pass my classes. However due to family drama I didn’t do well. (Im not the best test taker.)
Any how my parents want me to sign up for summer classes but I know I can’t. I want to tell them and explain but I know it would be pointless because my father gets very angry quite quickly and my mom is a little too care free.
I’m 20 years old and I honestly feel like I should go into hiding.
Let me explain another thing. My parents want to use me to get financial aid so they can pay off their loans. I feel like I’m being used but they paid for my college and I feel like I can’t complain and no matter what I’m gonna be stuck with them.
I don’t understand your comment about your financial aid going to pay off their loans.
- Are you not able to sign up for classes at a local Community College this summer and transfer those grades?
- You are going to have to tell your parents. Don't sugar coat it or make excuses, just say I failed my class(es) and I am on academic suspension. You are going to have to accept responsibility for failing.
- Follow thru on whatever it is your school recommends to get off of academic suspension.
- Most students fail classes at some point or another, it is not a mark of shame.
- Not exactly sure how your parents are using your financial aid to "pay off " their loans. Your financial aid goes to your school usually, not into your pocket, unless it is a grant of some sort and if you are not using it for school, that is illegal. Also if it is a grant, it is in your name, not their name, you have to sign off to receive the funds, so how are they getting the money?. If you have taken a loan to pay for school and they are somehow floating that to pay off debt somewhere, they/you are still going to be in debt when all is said and done.
Are you actually scared of your parents, is there a history of physical abuse, or a history of threatening verbal abuse? If you are genuinely scared for your safety, please find another place to stay (friend, relative, fellow student). If you are just fearing their disappointment and a small eruption of frustration, you might try emailing them the information first. Giving them time to digest the information before you have to see them in person.
Your situation can not be changed. It is what it is. I don’t understand how parents can profit from financial aid? If the school provides aid, there is still a bill waiting to be paid or you can’t attend classes. Can you explain your situation with a bit more detail?
This is not going to be fun, but you will survive. Will you ever be able to return to this school, and if so, under what conditions? Maybe you have to attend community college for awhile and get your GPA up. What is your end goal, what career are you reaching for? Maybe you can find work that is related to your desired field, to give you some real world experience in the meantime.
I’m in community college. As for the loan thing, they want to take a loan and use it to pay off my mom debt. She has roughly 20,000 in loans from when she was in school.
I know I will have to tell them about the whole have to wait till fall to take classes.
This entire semester my father everyday said “it all depends on you.”
I’m a person who can handle stress but I do have a breaking point. Every day he still me it’s up to me I felt like smacking him to shut him up.
As for family, yes my father is both verbally and physical absusive but not every hour every day.
But I understand that it’s no excuse
At 20 years old, you should look for other options, try to find a job and a different place to live. You do not have to put up with physical abuse. WALK AWAY. Ask for help from a friend, relative, church or other charity organization. Are you able to get a job? Working is your way to freedom. Even if you cannot support yourself now, working and saving your money with the plan for escaping your home life is a great goal that will give you hope.
Some work comes with a place to live, like caring for an elderly person in their home.
You may not be able to return to college at all with your academic suspension. Check with the college to make sure you understand their rules. But if nothing is going to change with your home life and the family drama, why would you think you would do any better in the future? I think you need to escape your situation, find employment and a safe place to live, and choose independence. At some point, you may be able to continue your education, but your safety and peace of mind is highest priority.
IMPORTANT: You will need access to your identity papers like birth certificate and social security card. Gather up those items and any sentimental or valuable items before you leave home. And even if you stay at home, you will want to secure those items for quick getaway.
Keep all your money in a bank account that your family can not access. I would even say do not bank at the same bank as your family. Do not write down your account number, do not even have checks printed, and do not ask family to make deposits for you. Get your employment payment direct deposited to your bank account.