Here is the situation. There are 4 of us in an apartment. 3 of us are really good friends with similar interests and we click well together. The fourth however we are not as close to. I consider myself to have a toxic friendship with this person. The issue is the three of us want to live together again, but not with the #4. However, not only is the fourth severely depressed, but also lacks other people to turn to, to room with. We are not really sure how to tell the fourth that we are not going to live together again. Also, if the 3 of us live together again, then it is clear we are singling #4 out. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
@CollegeMan91 This is a tough one. No matter how you all decide to handle it, feelings will most likely be hurt. Not sure I know how to advise given that you say he is severely depressed. Is there any adult on campus maybe a res life advisor who can help? I know you stated you are in an apartment but i wasn’t sure if it’s off or on campus.
Can the one if you with the best relationship with him try to steer him towards help for his depression? You all tried to be friendly?
You should let him know well in advance so he has time to find other housing, if you feel that you must do this.
Could you run this by your RA? I bet he’s handled it before.
Can you explain the “toxic” friendship? If he isn’t obtrusive, rude, or otherwise putting a hamper on your fun or studies, I’m leaning towards being kind and letting him stay. You can’t guarantee your next roommate will be a great fit until that person actually moves in. Sometimes the grass isn’t greener…
Being kind isn’t always easy but it can be life-changing for both parties. I get that this might be a challenge but getting along with all types of persons, especially when it is in their best interest, is a good characteristic to develop and it sounds like this kid could use a friend.