Please do read the thread above. @pocrocodro has had a ton of great advice, and his thread immediately came to mind when I saw this one. You can pm me if you like, I have helped many students with essays.
We hired a private advisor for my daughter. Though she knew what she was doing with everything else, my daughter thought the advisor’s suggested edits for the essay were not good. I agreed. A private advisor might be very knowledgable, but that doesn’t make them a great writer. Your voice is the one that matters. Stick to your guns, and try some of the ideas suggested in the thread in post 1.