I agree with @vegas1 - contact Admissions and lay out your situation. I know a few kids who had disappointing experiences at revisits and they went back. I’m not sure if this is feasible for you, but after all the hard work that went into applying, it may be worth it to visit again.
I will say this in re academic rigor and revisit.
Our family was also surprised about the level of rigor in the various classes we attended, in multiple schools. I think we get so worked up in the admissions process that we can start to feel inferior (omg, only a 89 on the ssat? whatever will we do?). Then you attend a class and you realize that none of these places are wall to wall Einsteins.
DC asked “if the smart kids aren’t HERE, then where ARE they?” I laughed and said "probably in public schools across the country, ready to crush you!
We actually thought that was good news. We had worried that, as dedicated and driven and smart as DC is, they may well be in the bottom 50% at such elite institutions. After seeing the schools in action, DC feels more confident and has set sites on being in the top 25% or better.
Also, remember that you are only sampling each of these schools for a single day. Yes, you may have had a disgruntled host, or maybe the “vibe” wasn’t what you were looking for, but know that many factors can influence this. I will speak about Andover for instance. Yesterday was our last revisit day, and as luck would have it, the weather was snowy, windy, and cold. I don’t think there was a single student who wanted to get out of bed and come to class that morning. Little things like this can contribute to the day to day vibe. It is also not rare to find some students who seem to be a little unhappy or “out of it” We can get caught up in the whirlwind of too much work, demanding athletics, and far too little sleep. To the outside, it may seem as if some of us are extraordinarily unhappy, but once you are actually here for a significant period of time, you will come to realize that the majority of students at Andover are actually very glad to be there. Most of the cynicism you may hear on a revisit day is really a joke, even though it doesn’t seem like it. I’m sure it is the same at any other demanding BS, but we often use cynicism as a funny/relieving outlet which draws us together.
I am overwhelmed by the number of insightful posts!! Thank you to everyone.
This morning we reached out to the AO and were able to arrange a revisit of revisit day! It was a great suggestion to get him another opportunity to kick the tires. Fingers crossed for the results. I will say that there were so many things that just felt better this morning. First and foremost the sun was shining! Also the student panel was really strong and answered lots of great questions. Right before our son left with his new host he smiled and said he was starting to feel excited again. I promise to give an update tonight. I feel more at ease knowing that if his opinion hasnt changed, I can feel somewhat confident that it was a true vibe and most likely not the best match.
Glad to hear it! Good luck to your son whatever he chooses!
At the risk of sidetracking a bit; Some are homeschooling while taking community college courses. Some went to 4 years universities and/or collected more college credits than SculptorKid while being younger than her. Some finish Ph.D around 20. Those we see on media are only a fraction of them. Most of them prefer to stay low.
DS did not have the best revisit day either. His host did not really share interests and the classes weren’t great for visitors - history was do research in the library, Spanish I was go to the dining hall and identify things in Spanish which was kind of basic for DS who had taken Spanish for several years, and that was followed by an extended lunch block. He did get to see one freshman dorm, which was good. He did end up attending the school and is thriving there now.
Really surprises me that a teacher would choose “do research in the library” on a revisit day. What was that teacher thinking? Is that passive aggressive behavior of a disgruntled teacher? Glad it all worked out anyway, @MA2012
We’ve been to two revisits so far and the class visits for the parents at one school (one didn’t offer parents the option) were very well done. DD said some of the classes were “easy” as she put it. This was at the school that’s falling down her list so I wonder if that was in her mind:).
@doschicos: This speaks to my point about “if they can’t put their best foot forward on a day when they know people are observing them…”
Beg to differ, @SevenDad. I would prefer an as-is show, so there are no let downs later on.
@Lolalou your son is back there today?
@allinone: That’s all fine and good, but the sheer influx of extra bodies on campus makes it impossible to view it as “just another day in the office”, regardless of the school or their approach. Whether you want to call it this or not/admit it or not, there is a bit of “revisit theater” going on.
I agree, @SevenDad. On the one hand, coming across as too slick isn’t good but its nice to see some coordinated effort while visitors are on campus. Interestingly enough, my kid had a revisit at Exeter years ago and it had been near the top of his list prior. He had a great tour guide and interview before applying that made a great impression. The revisit was not good for both child and parents and the school dropped to the bottom of the list and kid felt bummed to have that feeling but had other fish to fry. I remember posting about it here on CC and getting a lot of negative comments about my post at the time. The english class I sat in as parent had a Harkness Warrior who totally dominated the class and was not reined in by the teacher and other kids who were zoned out and texting under the table or whispering and flirting with each other. Plus administration that really didn’t seem too vested in answering our questions. Could have been a bad day, could have been a bad fit. Who knows? I know several people who love the revisits and experiences there. Different strokes.
Glad OP’s son did another revisit to double check the fit for him.
@doschicos: “The revisit was not good for both child and parents…I remember posting about it here on CC and getting a lot of negative comments about my post at the time.”
Because the “Big 2” are beyond criticism, no? 
Good luck on the Revisit day Part II. I often tell my children not to let the presenter/messenger affect the message.
But there is a part of me that always goes with my first instinct. I think even some of the posts above that went contrary to their initial reaction didn’t state they were fully wrong.
We just debriefed with our son who had his second revisit day. He said his experience today couldn’t have been more different. He actually loved the classes he attended and really connected with the kids he met. He was so impressed with the dorm he hung out in that he tells me he wants to request it. I am so thankful we requested and were granted the second chance to form an impression. My son is quite confident that it was really a mismatch with his host that led to the doubt yesterday. He is a pretty relaxed and tolerant kid but the weight of the decision coupled with the negative vibes really had him opting for the status quo. Fortunately he is excitedly back on board and we will be securing our place. Thank you again for all the thoughtful comments and suggestions.
Congrats, @Lolalou !
@doschicos: Wow, my daughter said this very same thing to her father and me in our last conversation about how her school is getting it wrong: "The english class I sat in as parent had a Harkness Warrior who totally dominated the class and was not reined in by the teacher and other kids who were zoned out and texting under the table or whispering and flirting with each other. "
Amazing that something so beautiful in its principle and philosophy is allowed to veer so off-track.
Congratulation @Lolalou We parent are sometimes at the mercy of our children’s (illogical) gut feelings.