Terrible U Penn Essay please read!

<p>I feel it is to choppy and doesn't have much voice. I would love any input, thanks! </p>

<p>Prompt: Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?</p>

<p>If it was up to me, I would never go to sleep. Unfortunately, no amount of caffeine I drink can counter my biological necessities and, as a result, I strive to fill every waking moment with a meaningful experience before succumbing to that inconvenient nightly hiatus.
It seems fitting that my college search has led me to the University of Pennsylvania, a school bursting with life and energy every waking moment. It’s enthusiastic student body and proximity to the city will always be a source of inspiration.
At the moment, I plan to major in the university’s nationally recognized international relations program. In addition, learning languages is a passion of mine, and I plan on continuing my study of French at U Penn while hopefully beginning a few more. This ambition will include spending a summer in the French immersion program offered in Tours, France.
It is difficult to say what extracurricular paths I take at U Penn. For now, I plan on continuing my participation with student activism by joining the university’s Amnesty International club. I will certainly continue with Model United Nations, a club I was fortunate to discover this year. In addition, I couldn’t imagine not joining U Penn’s student paper, The Daily Pennsylvanian, as I feel journalism offers the best window into a community. Reconnecting with nature is also an important part of my life and I anticipate taking part in the university’s Outdoor Adventure programs, giving me a break from crazy city life. However, I’m willing to take my chances with new clubs and organization at the University of Pennsylvania; I’m sure not matter where I end up, I will be surrounded by inspiring and motivated peers.</p>

<p>You might want to contact an admin to have this thread removed, as someone could copy your essay.</p>

<p>“I will certainly continue with Model United Nations” OMG this sentence is exactly identical to one in my UPenn why essay><</p>

<p>The problem is, you told us what you want, but the stress should be on what would it bring to you. Model UN enlarge your innovative thinking skills, diverse student body enlarge your scope, etc, etc…</p>