Thank You Calmom....Collegeshopping is back to Reality

<p>Hi Calmom....a very public thank you for your reply in the "Is my friend lying thread?". I posted this there too but was not sure you would see it.</p>

<p>As a parent of a good student, these boards can cause you to doubt your students abilities. I am very proud of my child and her achievements but more so that she is a unique and an exceptional human being. Her Stats, (33 ACT, 4.0 UW GPA, 18 AP's at graduation and so far 4 & 5's on tested AP's and IMO strong EC's and civic responsibilities) on these boards are made to seem lackluster because of the constant reminder of the 2400, 36, straight 5 kids that seem to be the rule and not the exception. I sat at dinner last night and told my husband she had a very slim chance for Brown, Harvard, Dartmouth and Princeton, but the chance was slim for everyone. Your post made me rethink this attitude. Today I believe her chances are still the 8% like everyone else, but that her application is strong, her personality is strong, and her attitude is positive and I can't ask for more than that.</p>

<p>Yes, it is easy to lose perspective. I am lucky DD did not lose hers. We need to listen to our kids.</p>

<p>I am glad we have parents with common sense (and a lot more than that) here</p>

<p>collegeshopping, your daughter has probably more like a 50% chance at those schools given what you’ve told us. But the important thing to remember is that she has about a 100% chance at many other excellent colleges and universities at which she could receive a phenomenal education. Please be sure to REALLY look at some of them, and not to focus all of your energy and love on the four you’ve mentioned. </p>

<p>You should be very proud of your daughter. She’s got a bright future ahead of her!</p>

<p>you sound like a great mom collegeshopping with a wonderful daughter…yes its easy to begin to think your child will never measure up to some posting here (i remember i would sometimes lose sight of my child…and worry more about what he didnt have, than about all the wonderful things he had accomplished) except for the ap number of courses she has very similar stats to my son, and he got wonderful acceptances and merit aid…</p>

<p>no matter where she goes, i’m sure she will accomplish great things!</p>

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<p>Absolutely agree with Lafalum84–finding HYP isn’t a challenge. But finding wonderful colleges that would suit your kid and have a greater than 8% admission rate is what makes the college SEARCH so much fun.</p>

<p>I’ve always told my daughters that if I’d gotten accepted at my first choice to graduate school I’d have never met my wife & they would have never happened. Moral of the story is “things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out”</p>

<p>“things turn out the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out”</p>

<p>Excellent advice, csdad!</p>

<p>That is a GREAT line. I’m going to borrow it!</p>

<p>Here are some GREAT “Ivy-caliber” schools with higher admit rates (for the most part) for you to consider:</p>

<p>Rice
Washington University St. Louis
Northwestern
Univ. Chicago
Notre Dame
Tufts
Colgate (safety)
Boston College (safety)
Bucknell (safety)</p>

<p>^I agree with that list above, plus a few publics as well. </p>

<p>My kids (2012 & 2014) originally wanted BHYPS too, but they’re just as pleased with what the real list became. Two of my kids will be going to or attend two of the colleges listed above. I couldn’t be happier, nor could they. Enjoy the journey.</p>

<p>collegeshopping, both of my kids turned down the “highest ranking” school to which they were accepted (and the one to which everyone felt sure they’d choose to attend) in favor of other fabulous schools where they felt the fit was a bit better. For one it was Chicago>MIT, for the other it was Tufts>Chicago. </p>

<p>Your D clearly has a great deal going for her; she likely will have some fabulous options. That said, she can focus on what will help her grow into the person she wants to become.</p>

<p>There is no single perfect choice in colleges (or job, relationship, etc.). This is a good life lesson. </p>

<p>BTW, I love csdad’s quote!</p>

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<p>Love this! Thank you for sharing it.</p>

<p>cs, I have been where you are and it’s not fun. My son’s scores were SAT 2350 and ACT 35. Great gpa, leadership roles, and so on. A friend of ours who went to Brown told him to not bother applying to Brown and go for Harvard. Well, my son did apply to Yale and Brown. He was not admitted to either…was it because he did not have a sport? He was in the top 6% not top 5% of his class? We’ll never know. That very well could have been the end of our story for his senior year and what a terrible story that would have been. </p>

<p>Thank goodness for College Confidential. Truly, this board changed our son’s life for the much, much better!</p>

<p>It was here that I learned what 8 admits and 92 rejections really looks like, it was here that I learned of other children with my son’s stats who were not admitted to a top 20 school and so we had time to prepare. We had a safety school picked out but CC guided us to several match schools that my son absolutely fell in love with and, because he was such a good student, he was competitive for merit aid at private colleges we could otherwise not afford. </p>

<p>In the end, he selected Northeastern University. It’s in Boston, where he wanted to be, and he was awarded a very generous, multi-year merit aid scholarship. We are all thrilled and humbled by the outcome of his college search. We just could not be any prouder to be a NEU family. Go, Huskies!</p>

<p>I hope you’ll stick around and, as I did, benefit from the very wise, kind, helpful people who make up this community. Your daughter may very well be accepted to her first choice, Ivy college but if she’s not, it’s not the end, it’s only the beginning.</p>

<p>Rice, Northwestern, Stanford, UT-Austin (Safety) are also on her list. She LOVES her safety! And because of that I could ask for nothing more.</p>

<p>Collegeshopping – please also look at the womens colleges – former 7 sisters like Smith, Mt. Holyoke, Wellesley, Barnard, Bryn Mawr – or, on the west coast, Scripps. </p>

<p>My d had much lower scores & weaker stats than yours – but she’s a proud Barnard graduate and I cannot imagine a better academic foundation and setting than what she found at Barnard. </p>

<p>I don’t think that your view of your d’s chances is unrealistic. I actually think that high stat kids have much better than an 8% chance at schools like HYP – since that 8% is based on the whole applicant pool, and plenty of poorly qualified students apply to those top schools. If we assume that 75% of HYP applicants are actually strong enough to merit serious consideration, then the overall admit rate among qualified students goes up to about 11% – and arguably depending on other strengths, your d’s chances are even better than that. </p>

<p>But even if your daughter, based on her special strengths, had a 30% chance of admission at Ivies – that still means the odds are against her. It’s not a matter of stats, its a matter of being in a competitive field - and part of the way you “win” this game is focusing attention on the schools where the odds shift in your favor.</p>

<p>Another thing to consider for some of the students is…would you rather go somewhere where you may be a star or somewhere where you’re going to be average or below? A number of years ago we had two very similair students. 5th and 6th in their class, only 10 SAT pt. difference, same classes, etc. One chose to ge to a school where her SAT score was 150 pts. below the average for her major (engineering) the other went to an honors program i engineering at a college that the average SAT score was 100 pts. below his. The boy had a much happier college experience. They both came out with good jobs they seem to be happy with but the female student’s college experience was much more of a struggle.</p>

<p>The problem isn’t whether our kids’ chances at HYPMS are 15% or 50%, the problem is that the final results are either 100% yes or 100% no. For some that’s a tough life lesson.</p>

<p>Calmom…we have toured all women’s colleges and they are simply not for her. She can’t tell me why, just she does not feel right there. She has always been a “guy’s girl.” She finds girls her age are typically caddy, a little bit dingy and in general not her speed. She has some very close girlfriends, but their assesment of the girls in their high school is similar.</p>

<p>Then figure out what is “for” her but is not as competitive as Ivy League. Yes, your d. should apply to the schools you listed – but you don’t have control over whether she gets accepted to that level school or not. So the important thing is the backup plan – if she does not get accepted to Brown or Princeton, she is in at schools that she is comfortable with.</p>

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SAT scores don’t give much of an indication – student personality, attitude, and study habits are much more significant. The kid who is valedictorian with lower-than-expected SAT scores may belong in the more competitive environment; the kid with high SAT scores but a relaxed attitude toward schoolwork may be a lot better off in the less competitive environment. So while I agree with your theory as to fit, I would take the SAT scores with a grain of salt. (And I definitely speak from experience here.)</p>

<p>18 APs? Wow! I had 12 and that was thought to be unusual…</p>