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In addition, notes often cross in the mail--the better schools will have the admissions officer and tour guide write you a personal thank you note.
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<p>One school, we had two notes from the admissions department practically on arrival home. Another school, which might be considered "better" has yet to send us any additional communication.</p>
<p>During the interview day, the varsity coach appeared unexpectedly to talk about the program and see if we had any questions. Would you send a note to the coach as well or just to the interviewer?</p>
<p>Do you want to play for the school in that sport? If yes, absolutely send a note.</p>
<p>cnp55, did you notice any correlations between thank-you letters and eventual admissions outcomes? It’s an ongoing debate…</p>
<p>@creative1: I agree with Burb Parent: I would ***not ***paint myself – or my child – into a corner. There are lots of positive things your child can write in a thank-you note following a tour or interview that led your family to realize that that particular school is not the right fit:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>The interview went a long way to helping me get to know __________ School.</p></li>
<li><p>I learned so much about the school! Your tour was incredibly helpful to me.</p></li>
<li><p>You helped me understand practically everything I could want to know about ________.</p></li>
<li><p>The library/dining hall/gym/hockey rink/dormitory/common space/foliage/weather was awesome!</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Consider that, at the end of the day, as you and your child reach the decision that the school is not a good fit, it’s very possible that the AdCom interviewer has come to the same conclusion. And exactly what sort of signal are they sending you about that? Are they extending you the courtesy of discouraging your child from applying or are they actively encouraging your child to send in an application? I don’t think prospective students owe an admissions official a heads up on your decision not to make an application to the school. They’ll figure it out when the application doesn’t come in by the deadline…if they even notice.</p>
<p>Unlike students who could profit greatly from a heads up signal that a forthcoming application is likely to be DOA, the admissions officers *don’t *need to know you’re not applying so that they can move on to other options and not expend effort and emotional energy on a process that won’t bear fruit.</p>
<p>I would say no. But we were not casting a wide net. </p>
<p>For the typical applicant definitely planning on boarding school, applying as a freshman or sophomore, it cannot hurt to stand out in a small way such as writing a thank you note reiterating interest in the school. My older son stood out to the athletic department everywhere he applied. My younger son stood out as a sibling legacy, and a language whiz. </p>
<p>In our case, for both my sons, we were looking at specific educational/athletic experiences and were very focused in our applications. I can’t remember if they did write TY notes … although I know I wanted them to. And we had pretty good results with or without.</p>
<p>The “better school” referenced above never followed up with us. But, as we were a little put off by their POTUS focus during the interview and tour … that was fine with us. That school did not make our short list. Neither of my sons applied. </p>
<p>Just our experience … and while I recommend writing the thank yous, on general principles, I don’t think they are totally mandatory.</p>
<p>@Periwinkle: Unless there is a direct causal connection between sending a thank-you note and not being admitted, they should be sent.</p>
<p>It’s a good habit for other situations, from bar mitzvahs to graduation presents to wedding presents and…just because someone did a good deed. Did you ever get a thank-you note from someone because of something trivial and forgettable that you did for them? Those are the best! I want my kids to be the people who spread that kind of sunshine around. They’re not going to learn from my bad example, so I figure I need to beat it into them!</p>
<p>I could see two point five instances in which a thank you or even a later follow up could incorporate a “we have decided not to apply to School X”: A) If you were referred directly to the AO by an alum or mutual friend; B) If you are interested in the school for a younger sibling; .C) If you had told them you’d be applying point blank and then for whatever reason decided not to…</p>
<p>D’Yer Maker, I know who you are! You’re Judith Martin!!</p>
<p>But seriously, I agree that writing a thank you letter is the right thing to do, even if you loathed the school. (I wouldn’t focus on that in the letter, although it might be fun to write. Dear sir, thank you for talking with me on Thursday last. Our chat was the one bright spot in an otherwise boring day…)</p>
<p>In the end, though, the majority of applicants are 8th graders. An 8th grader who sends a thank-you note after an interview probably has a parent in the background, suggesting, “now, remember to send a thank-you note.” In other words, while it’s a habit we all should cultivate, 8th-grade applicants shouldn’t start hyperventilating about sins of (thank-you-note) omission.</p>
<p>I wonder how many thank-you notes they receive in suspiciously adult handwriting?</p>