Thanking teachers for writing recommendations

Our D gave gift cards to popular grocery stores one year, but we did it during teacher appreciation week. During this week folks in our school do all kinds of things to appreciate teachers and it seemed like an appropriate time to do it. In senior year, she bought college gear(from the college she planned to attend during admit weekend) for 2 special teachers.

I started a similar post a short while ago. Daughter wrote a thank you letter to each LOR writer, and we included a GC to a major store (think bullseye). Her counselor received a much larger GC since she did so much for my daughter. These were given after the LORs were written, but before acceptances had been received to avoid any impropriety or misunderstanding.

D19 had one teacher write a LOR, and after she got into her ED school she wrote him a thoughtful thank you note and bought him a pair of funny socks! He’s known to like them, so it was both a personal and inexpensive gift.

I would stick with a thank you card if this is a public school teacher. Any gift of non-trivial monetary value could raise ethical concerns.

@MaterS, ouch, brutal, but honest, especially when it comes to home baked goods.

What would happen to mugs or college gear? In 9th grade, D has given a mug with some Shakespeare quotes to her favorite English teacher (the first teacher to give her A- btw), totally of her own volition, as a thank you. I am not trying to be sarcastic, just looking for an honest opinion.

Using your logic, gift cards would be almost as good as cash, so what amount would be typically given? $10? $15? Thank you

@roethlisburger, would $5 worth of boxed candy or hot chocolate be considered non-trivial? And why special concerns with public school teachers vs. private?

I would stay away from cash equivalents. Too much and it creates the appearance students may be paying for their recommendations. Too little and you come across as cheap.

I write a lot of recommendation letters for scholarships, grad/professional school applications, and jobs. I appreciate thank you notes, especially if they are written late enough to include an update of the student’s plans. I like the occasional box of chocolates or candies - I share with my lab or our departmental staff and they are consumed pretty quickly. What I dislike is receiving gift cards - it’s just very awkward. I’m an academic, a professional, and being “paid” or “tipped” to write a recommendation letter feels terribly wrong. The few gift cards I’ve received, I’ve either tried to give back to the student or I have passed on to one of the trainees in my lab.

@dazedandbemused, thanks so much for your perspective, very helpful!

I’ve written hundreds and hundreds of letters over the years.

No gifts are expected. Seriously, a heartfelt letter is plenty. That’s it.

Relative of many teachers (but not one myself)- cleaning out the desks, bureaus, and in one instance- a handbag of elderly, deceased family members I was astonished that personal thank you letters from former students were kept for YEARS and in some cases- decades.

Encourage your kid to write a personal note. Not a store-bought thank you from Hallmark, but an actual note. My siblings and I cried as we read each letter; what a wonderful legacy. And since the letters were kept (and reread, and obviously cherished) it meant so much to a teacher to have a thank you.

At my kids school, the faculty got potted plants as year end gifts; candy on valentines day, etc. from the Parent’s
Association. These are the kind of gifts bought in bulk. But a personal note? That’s cherished.

handwritten thank you note and a 12-pack of the flavored water the teacher is always drinking.

My son wrote a long very nice thank you note to his English teacher who spent a lot of time poring over his essays, and she wrote him a very sweet one back.