The anxiety level just went up a couple of notches.

Parents Forum
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<p>My D had a triple that was designed to be a double. the two roomies had chosen each other at a summer program so D was the odd man out all year.</p>

<p>However, they worked out the sapce thing pretty fairly.....D got the single bed due to a sports injury preventing her from teh top bunk. The friends shared the bunk. D shared a closet with girl 1 while girl 2 had her own closet. Girl 2 then got a desk with some privacy whilst D & girl 1 had desks facing each other, so they all got something alone.</p>

<p>D brought a frig and D 2 brought a micro and they just worked it out. Far worse than any space issues was the fact these girls did not want to be friends, I would be more worried about that. D tried to make it work, but in retrospect wishes she had switched at 2nd term. These two would actually go out in the hall to talk privately at the end of the day, they had no interest in getting to know her at all. D has always been friends with every one from every crowd so was mystified; there was a reason a politically incorrect one, but it was there, it was not personal, but it was still unpleasant</p>

22

<p>I started out college (1975) in a triple that sounds exactly like what you're dealing with. Both girls (and parents) must have camped out on the door step, because by the time I got there (all alone) EVERY square inch of space was taken up. I got a top bunk and lived out of a suitcase. It was a tough way to start.</p>

<p>The good news is that we quickly determined that one of the girls was a total freak. The other girl and I traipsed all over campus looking for an empty room - literally banging on doors and inquiring on every hall. We did find one in short order, and promptly moved in!</p>

<p>There seems to be more kids tripled this year than doubled!!! What the heck?!</p>

23

<p>I wonder if the "we've used all of the outlets" comment was made as a criticism of the crowded room rather than a mean comment. I could see someone saying this and not intending to be mean and not meaning " you can't have any". I would definitely pick up some power strips and the other girls will probably be thrilled and love you for it!
IMO, don't get too upset yet..go into it assuming they will be fair and see how it goes. Good luck!</p>

24

<p>If the OP is there to move her daughter in, I am sure that, as an adult, she can convince/chastise/intimidate two 18 year old girls into letting her daughter plug in her reading lamp.</p>

25

<p>Yes, I think that PA Mom could be right. Until the OP's D moves in, no one will know what the roommates' plans are about the space. How they're using it now may be what they're planning on doing only until she moves in and helps decide the final arrangements. If, however, the OP's D moves in and immediately starts making demands and threatening to involve the RA, that could get them all off on a bad foot. I think it would be far better for the D to assume that her roommates are well-meaning and will willingly share when she moves in.</p>

26

<p>Edad--I propose a moratorium on heliblade comments, esp for the first-time college-parents. Give them a chance, for gosh sakes. the mom never said she was going in there to personally empty drawers on the floor and toss girls around. She just posed a quandary....</p>

27

<p>agree with garland</p>

<p>same with northstarmom's post</p>

28

<p>Piling on to the agreement with garland and NSM and others whose advice has been along those lines. But I certainly understand the alternate reactions.</p>

<p>I think your d would be wise to go one step further. Show up in the room, expecting the best, and with brownies/fruit/something small and fun in hand. Give everyone a chance to like each other from the get-go. Could go miles toward easing the work-around of the too-small room situation.</p>

<p>If one roomie is more of the "mean girl" profile than the other, there is actually a very good chance that SHE will feel odd-man-out if things are handled this way. Furthering the possibility that they will happily work it out among themselves.</p>

<p>If that simply doesn't happen, that is plenty of time for your D to think about chatting (privately) with the RA. Who should be more than well-trained to handle these things discreetly. EG, popping head into room to say "How's everyone doing in here? I know you're crowded so how can I help you all fit in? This is how some of the other forced triples are arranging things - come see room xxx...." etc.</p>

29

<p>the one thing i would do now and it is not unreasonable is ask about furniture at the school with a phone call, to not have a desk or dresser is absurd, especially when paying so much money</p>

<p>are there 3 desks in the room, and did the RA remind the roommates to be nice</p>

<p>that one girl who is hogging half the room sounds terrible btw, I don't know any of my Ds friends who would even think that was okay to do</p>

<p>the OPs daughter needs to have confidence and a sense of what she deserves when she walks in that room, obviouslly one of the girls cares not for the OPs feelings at all, so why worry if she is offended if OPs D asks for her fair space, bet you the roommate would in a flash, and expects the new roommate to just take it</p>

<p>I am not saying being demanding or rude, but there is nothing wrong with going, really, this is just really tight, and I do need some desk and dresser counter space etc and some plugs, lets see what we can rearrange, i am sure we can make it work for all of us</p>

30

<p>^ Incredibly, regardless of how much the dorms cost, when kids are forced into triples (in rooms meant for 2) they have to contend with 3 beds, 2 desks, 2 dressers, 2 closets. There simply isn't room for more.</p>

<p>I wonder what the fire people think about these over crowded dorms?</p>

31

<p>I guess my d's school is different - when there are forced triples, they manage to get 3 of everything in (except maybe for closets) - 3 dressers, 3 desks at a minimum. (There's also a 20% reduction in room costs.) The biggest problem in this electronic age is, of course, outlets.</p>

<p>As far as dealing with the roommates, I also agree with the above posters: Expect the best, but have a plan for the worst.</p>

32

<p>25 years ago I was in a double room that got tripled. The only extra thing we got was a roll-away bed for the third girl. Both the dresser/desk and the beds were attached to the floor so rearranging for exta room was a no go.
To add to the misery we were on the 6th floor of an unairconditoned high rise with one small window in the steamy south!</p>

<p>We managed to get along and the third girl moved to another dorm at T'giving when a room became available.</p>

33

<p>I think the furniture problem is solved. Just learned that someone came in and lofted the single bed and that girl's desk and dresser are now under her loft. So, that should leave space for a third desk and dresser, not sure it is there yet but going on the assumption it will be by Sunday.</p>

<p>Just bought a clip on fan, clip on light, and clip on tray to hold the alarm clock. Got a power strip with a very long cord to reach to these items, so hopefully everything is fine now, except for closet and under the bed space but she will deal with that. I do not think she hangs much anyway (I never venture that far into her room).</p>

<p>It will all work out, but she is going to request to be put on a wait list for a double. I doubt it happens first semester though. If her name does comes up she can decide then if she wants to move.</p>

<p>Thanks for all the suggestions.</p>

34

<p>My daughter lived with one "sponge" roomie freshman year in a substantially sized quad. As an athlete, D arrived a week early, had the room to herself, choose the best location, but confined herself to one quarter of the total space.</p>

<p>Fast forward one week, and the other three moved in. Two were no problem, but the third was one of the most selfish "children" I have ever seen.</p>

<p>Her stuff was sprawled from one end of the room to another. Clothes, furniture, books; her garbage and half eaten pizza boxes/soda cans/water bottles ended up on everyone else's desk, bed, middle of the floor.</p>

<p>My D brought the TV. Little Miss Selfish would take it from its central spot and position it at the foot of her bed and throw a hissy fit if someone else wanted to watch.</p>

<p>She helped herself to other's foodstuffs, water, desk supplies, clothing without asking.</p>

<p>The first time we visited, she was wearing my daughter's sweatshirt ("It was the first thing I saw") was her excuse.</p>

<p>I said nothing other than suggest that the three other girls lay down the law, and periodically complain to D that it was humanly impossible to consume an inordinaate amount of bottled water, gatorade and juices, even for a practicing/playing athlete. </p>

<p>The girls lived with it. They never did confront her. Personally, I would have warned her once, then jacked her up against the wall if I caught her in my stuff.</p>

<p>I got my payback by always asking other roomies out to dinner if we took D, but I never extended the offer to Little Miss. I had already contributed to her educational experience with desk supplies, supplied beverages and in room food.</p>

<p>When I picked d up at semester's end, I asked for aspirin. Nowhere to be found. My daughter's bottle was on Little Miss's bureau.</p>

<p>Some people just have no clue.</p>

35

<p>I had one of those roommates freshman year, violadad. Everybody on the floor loved her, but I was the one who had to live with her. She unfortunately found it hard to find a new roomie for sophomore year...I guess she got the message because she shaped up somewhat by the beginning of the sophomore year.</p>

36

<p>Springfieldmom- similar to D's "spongie"... everybody else loved her, except those she had to live with. At the risk of being verbally crucified, I guess sometimes it pays to be a ditzy blond.</p>

37

<p>Yeah, mine was a brunette :rolleyes:</p>

38

<p>This post sounds like dejavu to me from last year. I was put into a triple room (that was built for a double) and since I arrived last I was stuck with the top bunk. We all had desks and a walk in closest in which 1 roommate got half of it while me and the other shared the other half. Luckily we were all transfer students so there were no 'pre-formed cliques'. I think I would have transferred out if there if they had already been friends and I was the odd-person out.</p>

<p>In the end we were all great friends and with three people we were forced to 'get out more' to meet other people (which we probably wouldn't have done) to study and keep our sanity. I still love those girls but I admit that it was difficult with 3 people's schedules (lights off/ late studiers/ early risers, ect). The hardest part was trying to study but there are always lounges.</p>

<p>The best advise is to go down with an open mind and if it does not work then you can ALWAYS transfer out of it into a new room.</p>

39

<p>It's funny to read about being "stuck" with the top bunk. I chose it my freshman year, being on the bottom makes me feel totally claustrophobic! I agree assume the best of your roommates. I take their original e-mail as more informative "Gosh we're going to be squashed, it's full with only two of us!" not as "We aren't making room for you". My son's school often has kids in the lounge areas of dorms (with five!) at the beginning of the year, but say most only have to be in overcrowded rooms for a few weeks.</p>

40

<p>I realize how difficult it must be trying to cram 3 girls into a 2-person room!</p>

<p>But when my D stayed for summer school this summer, she had a large suite in a new dorm - 4 separate (but quite small) private bedrooms, and a large living room/kitchenette. Sounds real nice, doesn't it? Well, the first girl that moved it took over the living room putting all her stuff in it, having guests there, where they regularly made a lot of noise. The other 3 just stayed in their rooms. Good grief!! The setup I thought would be really nice certainly wasn't in this case. At least summer semester is short!</p>