<p>I posted one reply to cadmiumred (<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/american-university/716432-nightmare-au-distraught-parent-5.html#post1062613762[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/american-university/716432-nightmare-au-distraught-parent-5.html#post1062613762</a>), offering advice in response to her crisis. She did not follow my advice (and in hindsight, OH HOW I WISH SHE WOULD HAVE!!!), therefore I have not offered more to her. She is not here for advice; she is here to complain. And, in my book, to be ignored.</p>
<p>another vote for Momma J!</p>
<p>Sorry. I wish to apologize to everyone on this thread for caring about my kids’ health, safety, and overall welfare.</p>
<p>We accept your apology; just don’t let it happen again.</p>
<p>Mini:</p>
<p>Back when I was in university, in the late 70’s, early 80’s, there were no tripling of dorm rooms, beds on 7 foot stilts up to the ceiling where you could hit your head if you sit up straight (my daughter has this), Hooka pipes out in the open in the quad, drunken kids rushed to the hospital and harassing others, noise until 2-3a.m. in the dorms etc. College meant business and a stepping stone to grad school. The permissiveness of the parents of this generation and the lack of insisting upon competence and quality, has led to this slow deterioration of society.</p>
<p>I thought you just said you weren’t going to care about your kids’ health, safety, and overall welfare anymore. Not that I believed you were doing a particularly good job about it before you apologized. From what I can tell, YOU have greatly endangered your children, to the point that they feel powerless in being able to take care of themselves. I do not know why you are so willing to endanger them, but I do know that it is likely to take some time to undo the damage.</p>
<p>Have people received their ID’s yet? D needs to fill an important prescription soon and has received nothing yet. The insurance website FAQ’s talk about printing a temporary one, but then when she logs in there’s no way to do it on the site, at least not that either she or I can see. (Wouldn’t you know it–the only problem she’s run into so far is one involving the topic of the moment-healthcare!) She’ll call the insurer Tuesday, but their hold times are very long, so if anyone has any enlightenment to offer in the interim, it would be appreciated.</p>
<p>Back when I was at university in the late 70s and early 80s everyone on campus was in a triple and bunked in the lounges because of the baby boom generation. Students were rushed to the hospital dead from alcoholic poisining a couple of times on my campus. Found this to be true on my undergraduate midwest campus and southern graduate campus. Both conservative campuses. Again you blame the parents for being permissive. My weren’t and I’m not but there is free will and rebellion against interferring, overly controlling parents. Get a life Camium Red so that your children can. We on this forum are all concerned about our sons and daughters health and well being. They are not children anymore. Find some peace and let go. Go see a counselor if you must. I don’t usually personalize messages but this has gotten to the point of ridiculousness. Again if your family can’t cope your daughter can always withdraw and then transfer. Perhaps to a college within commuting distance so you can continue to protect her.</p>
<p>Has she talked to the local pharmacy? I bet the local pharmacies deal with that insurance all the time and can check her coverage if she has ID number. Our D is still covered under our plan so we have not had to deal with that health issue.</p>
<p>Nope, no ID number because no ID. All that exists to confirm her coverage is the fact we paid the premium as part of the AU bill and the fact that she was able to register on the website using her AU ID. We have individual coverage (not part of any group plan), so it’s saving us a considerable amount to be able to utilize the school plan for her. Oh well, maybe Tuesday’s mail will bring the card.</p>
<p>I did school insurance also and thanks for mentioning it. With other aspects of life being hectic I totally forgot about this. I will ask D if she has anything. I do not remember it showing up here. I’ll let you know.</p>
<p>Today daughter said no one is being asked to be detripled from beds on stilts 7 feet from the ground, open to the floor on either side with no guard rails, against windows, or even floor beds on her floor and may never be. Can she go to housing anyway and request a detriple? Will they respond; might they??? It was our understanding from accepted students day that most kids would eventually be detripled. If kids have been dedoubled by roommates not showing up, why are they not being detripled?</p>
<p>Oh, why don’t you let your kids solve their own insurance card and number problems. Why not let them be independent and figure it out. They can. They are intelligent.</p>
<p>Cadmiumred,</p>
<p>Of course your daughter can go to the housing office and request to be detripled.</p>
<p>The office may or may not be able to grant her request…I don’t know if there is a plan they are following for priority in detripling and if they are willing to vary from the plan (perhaps they are going by dorms/floors with smallest rooms first, for example…I just made that up, I obviously don’t know for sure if they have a plan or not) but If your daughter personally goes to the housing office to ask it can’t hurt…the worst that can happen is that they say no or not yet. Remember, her situation is not worse or different than that of any other student on campus who is tripled and has a lofted bed.</p>
<p>I’m not sure why you are so hysterical about the loft beds. They had a sample set up in the bookstore during orientation, and a lot of students were ordering the loft beds even if they were in a double because they thought they were cool. If your daughter wants side rails for her loft they are easily available at Walmart or Target or any Toys r Us store.</p>
<p>Cadmiumred, I think the message the parents on this board are trying to send you is for you just to tone it down a little and to see things in perspective. We all are concerned for the health and welfare of our children.</p>
<p>While all of us would like to make life perfect for our children, we also are realizing that they have reached the stage where it is up to them to take responsibility for their own lives, and that college is the time to develop and practice the skills they will need to be successful. Life will expose them to a lot of less-than-optimal environments and they need to learn to live in them and thrive anyway.There will be offices with toxic environments, unsupportive superiors, and unpleasant co-workers–dorming is good practice for real life.</p>
<p>Help your daughter develop coping strategies. Support her positive choices. And save the hysteria for the things in life that are truly worthy of it. Living in a triple on a noisy floor is not worthy of it…my friend’s child being denied life-saving medical treatment is.</p>
<p>Do I really understand correctly that what you are currently hysterical about is an 18 year sleeping in a bunk bed without rails? It is clear that you have intense anxiety that is simply moving from topic to topic. Solving the bed issue/noise issue/ class issue/ roommate tissue issue will not resolve your anxiety, you will simply settle on new issue. You need to address YOUR anxiety-- communicating it to your daughter constantly is not good for her-- it is constantly telling her that you don’t believe she is competent enough to survive college.</p>
<p>Deirdre:
These are not bunk beds, but stilted beds more than 6 feet from the ground open to the floor on each side, one side a window. Consumer Protection agency doesn’t like them for any age. By the way, how do freshman register for Spring classes and when??</p>
<p>“By the way, how do freshman register for Spring classes and when??”</p>
<p>Why don’t you ask your d.?</p>
<p>out of morbid curiosity, I checked some other posts by Cadiumred. That was my entertainment of the day while I was waiting for the train. At the Cornell site, she is asking amazingly detailed questions like how to drop and add classes, and whether it’s OK to submit paper earlier than the date posted on the blackboard by the prof, the kind of detail you would never have unless you are a student sitting in THAT CLASSROOM. In fact, most of the posters there assumed she is a student, rather than a parent. </p>
<p>Not only cadiumred, but the whole family needs a therapy. My kids would never expect the parents to find out this kind information for them: they would just go and find out themselves.</p>
<p>If the girls in the room don’t like having a bed by a window, they can easily rearrange the furniture…it’s up to them.</p>
<p>If your D feels insecure sleeping in a lofted bed or a top bunk, she can go to a store and purchase side rails,or buy them online. Or you could send them to her.</p>
<p>Your daughter will receive notification from AU and her advisor when it is time to think about registering for next semester.The students have just completed two weeks of classes…it’s much too soon to worry about next semester yet. It’s nothing for YOU to worry about,your daughter will receive all the advice she needs from her advisor and she will do just fine.</p>
<p>When is your daughter filling out her transfer applications? Or have you done that for her already?</p>
<p>RE: the insurance card: You are right, she IS independent and she WILL figure it out herself, because she told me she would. I asked if the card had arrived, she said, no, I’ll check into it. And thats it. </p>
<p>D said some triples have been detripled. Not hers. And she hasn’t heard of many. As I read here somewhere, their yield was high. There probably isn’t a lot of wiggle room.</p>