On March 10th last year, my daughter was thrilled to learn that she had been accepted at Andover, Exeter, and the North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics. We all thought she would choose Exeter because of its strength in the sciences and its amazing library, but she was determined to go into the Revisit Days with an open mind.
Since I am a pushy mom with strong opinions on just about everything, I made the decision to sit this one out, sending my husband instead. It was the best parenting decision I have ever made. It gave my daughter the space to come to her own decision, and to my surprise she came away from the Revisit Days heavily leaning toward Andover. When I asked her to evaluate each school on various aspects and share her thought process with me, I was amazed at the level of analysis she employed and impressed by the depth of her self-knowledge.
She convinced me, and enrolled in Phillips Academy as a new upper (11th grade) last fall. It has been a challenging year, adjusting to boarding school life and stepping up to the academic challenge of a premier boarding school, but never once has she wished that she had made a different decision.
As a parent, I wasn’t totally sold on boarding school, but I have been 100% converted. The thing that impresses me most about Andover is the level of caring displayed by the educators toward the students at every turn. The teachers at this school (and many other boarding schools, I’m sure) are superior to 95% of the professors I had in college, and they never miss an opportunity to uplift the students and encourage them to function at the highest levels in all facets of their lives.
I’m so glad that we made the decision to send our daughter away for her last two years of high school, and I wish that we had sent her to Phillips Academy for all four years. If your child is choosing between schools, I encourage you to leave the decision in his/her capable hands and get ready for an amazing ride.
If you have any specific questions about my daughter’s thoughts on those schools or her experience at Andover, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Thanks for the update and good thoughts about Andover. I think my son has a favorite heading into revisit days but I I hope that he has an open mind and comes out with a decision that leaves him feeling wonderful. Mostly, I appreciate the encouragement to leave this decision to him. He has no bad options and so any choice would be a wonderful opportunity and we will let him decide where he is most comfortable. It’s good to know that Andover has been a caring environment for your daughter. When I discuss the upcoming choice with DS, I’m surprised how much a sense of caring and friendliness matters to him, but it certainly makes sense given that he will spend four years in that environment. There has been a noticeable warmth in interactions with one school that has impressed him but it will be fun to see what Andover is like at the revisit.
@ISpy42 - Is there any reason to think that your daughter would not have as rewarding of an experience at Exeter? What were the reasons she choose Andover instead?
I think she would have had an excellent experience at Exeter as well. In fact, she felt that she was exactly like the majority of PEA kids. Contact me offline if you want to know specifics of her decision process. But the key from my perspective is that she has to live it, so she needed to be the decision-maker.
Junior year is a very hard grade to enter a new school. You said your D had a challenging year adjusting to the new environment and the academic challenges. How is it then considered a good experience? If she had a smooth sailing, I would have thought that was a good experience.
Challenging does not mean bad. I would think life would feel very poor if everything were smooth sailing. Where is the challenge, the drive, the way to overcome? My favorite teacher this year is very hard. They aren’t mean or unfair, just expect A LOT. well, I have learned a lot, and I am doing the best in this class, I feel like I have put in the effort and have succeeded. An A in a “regular” class is far less accomplished, also I haven’t learned as much and that is the point - to learn and grow.
I agree with @catinthehat579 and @BlairParent completely. This year was so challenging for me, but now that I have my friends, schoolwork, and extracurriculars in order, everything is that much sweeter. I like feeling lie I have worked for what I have. I think it makes me value it more and keeps me aware of life, rather than just “sailing” through it.
My daughter also transitioned as an upper 11th to a hidden gem boarding school. She had no problems socially fitting in and it is challenging to step up your game academically and start the whole college search and have prom all in one year! When I saw her last weekend it was bittersweet to see her morph into a much more interesting and mature person. I ditto the OP post and have no regrets!