@photographermom: You are imagining things. I am not “worshipping” anything. And please don’t define “sheep” and “problem” like you own them. Put all the words you want in my mouth to make it convincing is not gonna change the truth and reality one bit. Carry on.
Your posts are very telling… no need to imagine anything. Please carry on and tell us more about BS " Bubbles" and all these parameters, social circles and the value systems that have everyone tied up like neat little packages with big red bows …
Don’t waste the effort, @PhotographerMom. IMO, the only people who ought to be put in a narrow little category are the people so narrow that they categorize others in that way.
What I’ve observed so far is that friendlydaughter’s school is trying hard to fit and promote the “new world order” when it comes to colleges. The college office is very conservative about college prospects and pushes kids hard to expand their choices. The narrow-minded view about what colleges are acceptable comes from the parents and kids.
It’s also been interesting for me to hear from parents of kids who have been through the process and graduated. They still seem stung, years later, at what schools the college counselors identified as “reaches” - e.g. “They told us Cornell was a reach and then he got in, we really didn’t get good guidance from them.”
Isn’t Cornell, by definition of its acceptance rate of 14.9%, pretty much a reach for everyone? Same is true for all Ivies and other top universities and LACs these days? If I recall correctly, around 25-30% of applications to schooled defined as reaches by the college admissions office at said school do result in acceptances. If parents feel stung by this, it speaks to their unrealistic expectations about how special their child is and what their tuition dollars at boarding school are actually buying.
@twinsmama: The first person who created the category of “Sheep” was Prof. William Deresiewicz, which started the practice of people using that concept to categorize certain subset of the population. If you are saying that I am the one who categorizes people “that way”, then you need to re-read my post. Moreover, I suggest some posters actually read at least some of what Deresiewicz wrote before jumping in the debate. His work has been discussed extensively elsewhere and it’s almost a consensus among the thoughtful that his attack to the narrowly defined elite group must be looked at in the bigger cultural context of our times and what he described (sometimes grossly exaggerated) is really not a Yale thing, or a Columbia thing. In other words, going to a lower ranked college, or a honors program of a state school doesn’t preclude one from becoming an “excellent sheep”. Of course, there can be many interpretations and perspectives about this topic, but this is my last comment on it.
College counseling isn’t easy and is becoming more and more difficult. Of course, they have access to historical data and are in contact with AO’s so they could let a student know just “to what degree” Cornell is a reach to him/her. But, in their position, they have “liabilities” and when you are uncertain about something it’s wise to be cautious.
@doschicos, exactly my point! Being told that a school like Cornell is a “reach” is not bad advice, it’s realistic no matter who you are. People really do like to shoot the messenger.
In reference to the historical data that panpacific mentions, historical data gets really old and outdated really fast in the college admissions arena as the dynamics are constantly changing and at a very accelerated pace. What worked for a certain college 2 or 3 years ago, or even last year, may have little bearing in the face of say a 20% rise in year over year applications for a certain school. Two years ago, one of my kids applied to a school that was defined as a low match/safety that saw a 30% increase in applications that year. He still got in but it could have gone very differently. Another reason to heed the advice of the college counseling office is they are seeing where the whole class is interested in applying. Your Lucy or Will might look like a good candidate for Cornell based on stats and Naviance and all other indicators, but you’re not seeing that 30 other kids from your child’s class are also applying and that half might have a profile that makes them a more likely admit for a variety of reasons. (As an aside, Cornell is an interesting example by the way as it has become increasingly “hot” at the school I am most familiar with over the past few years.)
Any school your kid is accepted to is not a reach. Any school your kid is not accepted to is a reach. 'Course, you can’t know that ahead of time. Dang.
Yes, do listen to the counsellors. They KNOW what they are talking about. That said, you can still choose to apply to those reaches if you want to be sure you are not missing a school you really like but may have a lower chance to get in (you would definitely not get in if you didn’t apply!) . To counsellors, one more school to submit is just a few clicks away anyway. Then of course I am not encouraging anyone to apply “blindly”. If you are not even close to the “borderline” based on historical data why bother.
Hi folks, this recent discussion has raised a few question for me and I apologize in advance for stepping on toes inadvertently.
What is a “Mother-ship BS” and what is a “Holy Grail BS”? I think that a “Gem” is a hidden gem BS.
Also, I’ve noticed that Exeter does seem to come up frequently as an example and I’m wondering why that is so. We’re just getting started on the BS search for our child and I appreciate the insight shared on this site.
Welcome to the conversation, @Xystus. PhotoMom was being a bit facetious, but she was using those terms to refer to the boarding schools that so many think of as the be-all end-all (like Andover, Exeter, Groton, St. Pauls, Choate, etc.). Schools like those come up the most here because they are:
- The only ones some people have heard of
- The only ones some people (mistakenly) think are worth applying to
- Generous with financial aid (but toughest to get into so chances of getting that aid are greatly reduced)
If you are just starting your search, most people here would recommend starting with boardingschoolreview.com to enter the general criteria most important to you/your student, researching all those schools that meet that criteria by scouring their respective websites, asking questions about them here that you can’t get answered from the websites, and start narrowing your list from what you learn. Once you have a manageable list, tour/visit as many as you can. And don’t forget to read through that list of hidden gems! The perfect school for your student may be on that list, and eventually you may become the champion and voice of that school to the rest of the community of seekers here.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
For context, I think pelican kid submitted 12 applications (a bunch, I know). CC was very forthcoming in saying that kid had the grades and stats to be “in the applicant pool” for all the schools, but because of the admit rates, 6 schools had to be considered “reaches”. (That’s actually why so many applications.) Tale of the tape with the “reaches”: 5 rejections, 1 admit. He’s attending (quite happily!) the single “reach” admit, and it is a great fit. So how could we have known which one would be the “lucky golden ticket” if he hadn’t submitted the other 5 apps, as well?
ChoatieKid was already accepted to our state flagship before school started last year, so he applied to 8 reaches, 2 possibles, and 1 other probable. He only cared about two schools (reaches); the rest of the apps were perfunctory. Once he was accepted to one of the reach schools, he accepted and withdrew his remaining apps. It was all over rather quickly. I still can’t believe that he’s done with high school and the college process is behind us.
How’s everyone’s summer going? How are your graduates feeling about their soon-to-be new homes? Any thoughts on your BS now that it’s all over?
We visited Carpinteria over the 4th of July weekend as we were in CA for a family reunion. The Cate School was closed, but we spent the day in the charming town and walking the beach. My biggest regret is that we didn’t know there were fine boarding schools in CA, just a short hop from home. Sadly, we were one of those families who had only heard of a few of the usual suspects and did not know to cast a wide net. I found CC after M10. So, all you who are here ahead of the BS application season, congratulations; you’re well-armed to make good decisions. The best of luck to you all.
@ChoatieMom So you’ll come visit me when I move to Carpinteria? 
^^^That’s a long way from Solebury.
@ChoatieMom Key word: move. 
Funny, been dropping D1 off at BS for a few years now. Figured college drop off day would be a total non event yet I find myself feeling slightly odd knowing that in 72 hours I will have left him in his college dorm. Granted if he doesn’t start packing soon I may just let him find his own way to Philly.
@RSF18: There is definitely a different sort of excitement/anxiety in our household regarding 7D1’s impending college move-in. Daughter seems very psyched about things. I’m still stressing over whether she has signed up for the right meal plan!
D2 is taking a gap year before college. I’ll be dropping her off next year at her new apartment! Best of luck to all those starting college!