I was just hoping to connect with some parents with kids who made the decision to attend a lesser known college, one for the merit aid, but also for the fact that they saw a benefit to being in an environment where they would be less stressed and possibly have more advantages being a top student v. one in a sea of kids with great records. I apologize if this is poorly worded. I do not mean to offend anyone. I would just like to see if the idea of choosing a less competitive school was a good choice for anyone and if they could share their experience. My son has been in a high school honors program for four years and worked very hard. He has perfect grades and good ECs, but has always struggled with test scores. I know he will get merit aid, probably a full ride, to a small, east coast school, where he will be in their honors program. We think this might be a place where he could truly blossom and not be constantly comparing himself to people with high test scores. Unfortunately, like it or not, he feels reduced to numbers these days and hates that feeling. So, this is a bit of a vent, yes, but I am truly interested in finding out if anyone had a child who made this choice, passing over a chance to attend a stretch school, and how it went for them. I am usually one who would say ‘go, stretch!’ but I’m not sure it’s really worth it in the end. Thanks in advance.
My child chose the least prestigious of the schools she had applied for, in part because they offered her a full tuition scholarship. She has been extremely happy with her choice, and the fact that she is the big fish in the small pond feeds into that. At some of the other schools where she had been accepted she would have been in the middle of the pack. At her college, she stands out. She is challenged, but it isn’t overwhelmed. She has personal relationships with nearly all her professors. I contrast it with my own experience, where I attended a very high prestige university, and felt as if I spent my college years hanging on for dear life academically. I didn’t get to have the sort of experiences my daughter is having with her professors, because there were so many superstars that I wasn’t on anyone’s radar. When my daughter graduates, she will have no trouble asking professors, deans or even the president of the college to write her a letter of recommendation. I am thrilled with her choice - both for the financial aspects but for her education as well.
I have two kids, and had one of each. D1 attended a 2nd tier LAC with a nice merit package. She took full advantage of all it had to offer, graduated Phi Beta Kappa, and has had very good success in the working world after college. For her it worked out great. But she is a kid who wants to do well, is a people pleaser, and is responsible and always tries her best.
D2 picked a school that is a big academic challenge for her. She adores it, but went in with her eyes open. For her it was important to be with really smart people and to be very challenged academically. She likely would not have pushed herself as hard at a less difficult school. I think she would not have enjoyed being at a school with few true academic peers – that interaction is really important to her.
He can apply to a range of schools, and go to accepted student visits at his top few choices from his acceptances. He will probably have a good idea after that. There is no need to decide now.
Thank you for sharing. It’s great to hear both of those experiences. We do plan on doing what you suggested. I am stressed about it and just want to have the information because at some point, we will advise him on what our opinion is.
My ds is attending UA full ride on multiple stacking scholarships. He absolutely loves it there and has zero regrets in choosing that path even though he was accepted into multiple “better” schools. We couldn’t afford any of the top schools, and UA’s generous scholarships are a huge blessing for our family.
He is part of their research honors program. He has a great research professor as a mentor. He has a wonderful group of peers.
Every once in a while, I do have a niggle of doubt. He is a very high performing student and is consistently making very high As in classes where the class avgs are very low. I know he could be challenged more. But, he keeps himself challenged by taking 18 hrs/semester and spending lots of hours doing UG research. He hopes to start taking grad level courses his jr yr, so that will also increase his level of challenge.
But that last paragraph is simply my impression from listening to his brief commentaries on his classes. But, his impressions are not mine. He is extremely happy and thriving. He will tell anyone who asks that he would not choose to attend anywhere else b/c he loves the freedom he has to do what he is doing. (As a sophomore, he will have finished all of the in-major requirements for a double major in physics and math and he will be able to pursue a masters in physics while still an UG student. For a kid who lives and breathes physics, that is a win-win from his perspective. Since I don’t understand anything that he is actually studying, I have to trust his judgment.)
ETA: I wanted to agree with @IlamBehini Ds has a great relationship with his professors and they all offer him great mentoring. Ds would probably not be having anywhere as much success and positive feedback/mentoring if he was simply the middle of pack. The support he receives is completely awesome.
Thank you! My son would have the option of 6 free extra credits per year in this program, so he could either take more or take summer classes at no extra cost. I can see a lot of advantages to that.
One of my D’s friend (a Val at a large public HS and sport team captain) was accepted to a selective state flagship with an offer to walk-on to their nationally ranked sports team. She is pre-med, and while the falgship can be a bit of a pressure cooker, the it produces hundreds of med school acceptances every year.
She surprised everyone when she chose a a small (~1000) non-selective LAC that none of us even knew existed. Talking to her parents I see why it made so much sense for her:
Full academic scholarship - save money for med school
Anchored D III sports team as freshman
School is not very competitive and she is making great grades.
With AP credit and heavier course load can graduate in three years
Big fish in a small pond means lots of mentoring and help from professors. Dean of the University knows her personally.
I heard some comments from other parents that they were disappointed she turned down several more prestigious school for an unknown school, but none of them had to worry about getting a kid into into med school, or paying for it. Expect questions and criticism if you son does not select the school with the most prestige factor, so many people get hung up on name brands and big football programs.
On the other side, my D wants the selective state flagship because she wants to be surrounded by high achievers that are stronger academically than her and will push her. She is not shooting for med school but will need to perform well enough for grad school.
My youngest wanted to be among high-achieving students like herself. Her small highly ranked LAC allows her to have great relationships with her professors also. That does not happen only at lower ranked schools. There is no one answer for everyone. My other children did not attend the highest ranked school on their lists. The choice is different for each individual student. Let him choose what feels best for him.
Thank you all for the responses. We definitely will let him choose in the end and frankly, I do trust him to make a good decision. I think the thing in the back of my mind is if it might be worth pushing a bit if he happened to get into Cornell, which is his stretch, or pushing in the opposite direction. This is as much for my info as for his. It is his decision but I know he will want and value our input. We both went to state schools and paid for most of it ourselves. I did attend USC for a year and a half and it was a good experience, but I have unpleasant memories of being totally broke among a sea of people who couldn’t relate to that at all. Anyway, glad to have found this forum. I do not want my own stress to affect his feeling at all.
I think it’s worth keeping in mind that some majors are easier than others, even at top schools. Yet many students in tough majors like Engineering are working very hard at much lesser ranked schools. So I think you need to think about how competitive the major is, not just the school as a whole.
Good point. He is going to visit the school that has the Honors program and potential scholarship. He is supposed to have the chance to meet the President so hopefully he can really ask a lot of questions at that time. He will be a business major and near NYC so I think he will make the most of that situation in terms of internships, etc.
D turned down some big name – though not elite – universities to attend a smaller regional school which offered generous merit based aid. I don’t know if I would consider her a big fish at her undergrad institution, but she had some great leadership opportunities there.
She is now attending grad school at one of the big name universities she turned down for undergrad and holding her own among students who attended higher ranked schools
My kids ended up choosing their reach options and thrived. They learned that they didn’t need all A’s to be happy and fulfilled; they learned to appreciate the challenge of being thrown into the deep end of the pool sometimes. And they loved being around very stimulating and smart and interesting people.
The range of opinions here shows that there is no right answer. There is a wide range of academic experiences from Cornell to a small East coast school where he would get a free ride. There are schools that may be less of an academic pressure cooker, but still challenging, vs schools where it may be almost too easy for him to get all As and he won’t feel as challenged. Honors programs at State schools can be an affordable option too.
One of my kids really considered a small school that offered merit, but decided it was too homogeneous and too much like high school. Kids can really change their minds from putting together the list and deciding where to go.
Yes exactly, this thread has reassured me that it is worth considering all options and leaving them open until he really gets a better feel for his top choices. Thank you all!
Choosing a less competitive school can definitely be a good decision for some kids.
Regarding competing with students with higher test scores, I think that the major he is considering and the magnitude of the gap between them are important factors. The more quantitative subject, and the larger the score divergence, the more I would be concerned about my student attending.
Also, the students self-image and degree of grit are important. Hypothetically, if he is working as hard as ever but discover that he is in the bottom quartile of his college class and he has a below average gpa, how do you think he will react to that. Would he feel overwhelmed and his self image be crushed , or does he get a bit angry and more determined and be excited by a level of challenge that he has never had before?
Finally, the benefit of going to the most competitive big name college in terms of career opportunities and salaries, can be virtually zero in some majors, but can be very significant in others.
There are a lot of variables, and it really depends on the student. Regard whether people who have been through this made a good decision, no one really knows because they don’t know what would have happened on the other path. They only know whether they are happy today.
