It just strikes me reading these posts how this process changes so fast! What was applicable two years ago is not today. It’s so hard. Blessings over all these talented kids pursuing their dreams and the parents who support them towards those BFA MT elusive slots. For Arts Sake … there has to be an easier way.
@onette I hear you - obviously a much different experience than my D’s school. And I agree on the need to be a part of the ensemble - my d has been in 8 shows at the local community theater and 5 out of 3 she was in the ensemble - it’s just at her particular HS if you are interested in MT and not a lead it’s just not worth her time - but that’s her school…
After reading the last several comments, I am wondering if this is even the correct path for my son. He has enjoyed being in the musicals he’s in, and our high school is small. We’ve allowed him to be in sports, take a musical instrument, sing in choir and perform in the school musicals. He would never say that a part is beneath him. Don’t get me wrong, one day he wants to be a lead. Maybe due to the size of our school and the students that try out for the shows, they have all been ensembles and he has been more than happy to accept any part he is given and gives it his all. He has put down the part he would like when he goes in for the tryout but has always said he will do any part they see him in. He is busy, works hard in school and jungles multiple obligations, including working part time, but he feels that any part gives him experience and he feels that it gives him experience. If this is not the personality that will do well in this major, maybe I should be telling him so before he gets too far in. We are do realize there will be a lot of no’s but we are not the type that would ever say no to an experience, if that is not enough to succeed, then I think this may not be the best fit. He is a hard worker, that thinks of others, sings wonderfully, and has a huge passion for musical theater, this allows him to find the joy of any part and work hard for that part. He has also been in a position of having a smaller part, work hard all pre production, and then when one actor thought the part was too small for them and dropped, he got moved up, and then another one did not take it seriously enough and he was offered that part…he learned the role of George Banks in Mary Poppins in under 3 weeks, because he was dedicated and hard working. He has seen the results of working as a team and understands the importance of giving it everything. With that said, many folks in the audience have told me even a year later, that they could not imagine anyone else having played the part. If this is not the type of student that will do well in this program, maybe we should find out now before we continue.
@Sonnie323 Sounds like your son has the right spirit and attitude to be part of theatre or any other career that involves collaboration and teamwork. Most directors would prefer to work with someone who will do what’s needed to get the show up as opposed to someone who won’t participate unless they have a certain role. Many schools require actors to crossover to tech roles for training, experience and to gain understanding of the entire process. I personally think this is an excellent way to learn. And I encourage every actor I work with to find at least one area of tech they can excel in. Being to do “whatever it takes” is pretty important, in my opinion.
@Sonnie323 Before we started our coach asked my D if she could see herself doing anything else - because basically if there was any other path it would be easier than this one - and now that we are in this I agree - not for the faint of heart so if you have any doubts think about it.
@Sonnie323 ill give more detail when our journey comes to an end, but the kids who only get leads & wont consider anything other than a lead bc its beneath them are the ones that this process crushes the hardest the opposite of your son, so I wouldn’t let that stop you. MY D is a total grinder and takes great passion in every role she gets big and small.- she has 3 acceptances so far and 1 that many would consider a top 10 program, the most common comment my D gets at auditions is how unique and genuine she is… that said, as @DivaStageMom noted we have heard from several program directors that if you can see yourself doing anything else then do that, this is a hard road…maybe as you research programs, look at some phenomenal programs like JMU that is a BA - @katmt on this site is awesome…my D just had it in her head it was BFA/BM or bust & really didnt want to take a whole lot of Gen Eds otherwise I would have loved her to consider programs like JMU that have phenomenal reputations for MT training but allow for a bit more " academic exploration:" than the conservatory type programs. alas in the end its HER path , her life, not mine- im just the travel agent on her trip
I think this is just a tough major to want to pursue plain and simple. And it’s really sad. Like so many other things these kids want to pursue , the bar is so high. I feel in a way we are crossing our fingers and almost begging for our kids to now Just get Into school. What? I try and talk to my daughter about this field how it’s tough, and before I get too much out she stops me and says mom I just want to go to school. And I don’t want to here about the real world yet.? Can’t I just go to school. And I get what she is saying, . It’s crazy. My daughter is dealing with rejections now and it is tough. She has been doing community theatre since 3rd grade and has done at least one musical per year in some capacity since that time. Many lead roles - she just concluded her highschool career as Mary Poppins last week:). She goes to a large high school with a decent program in an area and has always been complimented on her voice and has been told numerous times by strangers that they come to our high school musical and chorus gala to listen to her. She was informed yesterday that a program she applied to would not take her In the MT program but would she consider theatre performance ? Although it is good to have a bfa offer in any form I was up most of the night wondering if this is really right for her. Singing is her strongest and most passionate pursuit. Dancing is her least and her desire for an MT BFA is to strengthen her Her dancing and acting skills . This is a tough road… I hate that the school field is so saturated and all these kids have to work so hard to just get into a school. Yes it does touch on how tough this is as a career but boy It’s rough. It’s like how these kids have no chance of now making a highschool spirts team unless they have been playing since pre-K . Continued strength to everyone getting through all this with your kids!
Please don’t get me wrong, we have talked many times about his dream. He fully understands that he wants BFA MT full steam ahead. He understands he will hear more No’s than Yes’s when it’s time for college acceptances as well as in the “real world”. This is his passion, but as a mother, I am anxious, and no I am not passing these feelings on to him, he has no idea. Just seeing people say that their child will not settle for anything less than a lead role makes me wonder if my son’s mild manners, and caring attitude will be seen as indifference. He is very passionate and focused that this is what he wants, but I can tell you that he will always put the entire production as a priority, he will always help his fellow performers with their lines and encourage them, he will never compromise doing the right thing. That is just ingrained in him. He is humble and leads with his heart to a fault. I’m just looking at it as a “Mama Bear” and don’t want him to be hurt by those that only want the leads, sometimes those vibes, tend to make others feel less than important. Thank you both @onette and @NYYFanNowMTdad, you both helped put things into perspective. @NYYFanNowMTdad, all the best to your daughter, hearing that she is complimented for being genuine is HUGE to me as a parent, because that means they are looking at the student holistically. We are always told by my son’s teachers in town that they love seeing him in the halls, he always has a smile for everyone and a kind word to say too, and that its truly genuine. They feel that he brings that same spirit to his performances both in vocals and in theater, that is why we’ve encourage him so much.
Best of luck to everyone in the Class of 2024!! This is a long road, but you are all so close to the end!! I look forward to hearing how many of these journeys shake out!!
Thank you!!
@lkcmom
This process is brutal, pretty unlike anything else I think. This time of waiting, and every day bringing some new piece of heartbreaking news, is just a killer. That’s why there are a bunch of us from previous years, waiting in the wings and occasionally reading these posts; it is gut wrenching and we are all cheering on you and your kids! I echo everybody else who has “gone before” and who reassures that almost all of these kids find a place that will make them happy and grow in their creativity.
Nobody knows what their life path will be at 17-18. Some are mature, self directed, and know exactly what they want, but I think that is the exception and not the rule. Kids should be able to follow whatever path they want, as long as their expectations are reasonable and they aren’t bankrupting themselves or the family.
There will always be a kid in the audition room next door that sings, dances, acts better. Most of these incredibly talented kids are not going to find full time work in theatre for the rest of their lives. But they will sure bring some creativity and confidence to whatever other pursuit they follow.
One program director told us at the initial parent session: “we are not looking for fully baked bread. We want dough that we can help shape”. Maybe I was really hungry at the time but I liked the analogy.
Just FYI for the kids who are trying to decide re conservatory style vs a more rounded education: in many of the conservatory programs, the kids have NO time to do ANYTHING else besides have a rare nap and try to squeeze in laundry. It takes up evenings, weekends, in addition to the full days of class. You’ve got to LOVE it, to the exclusion of pretty much everything else a “normal” college kid might like to do. It is definitely not for everybody.
Raising a toast to your kids and to parental sanity…cheers!
@Sonnie323 Musical theater is a very small community and everyone knows everyone and your son’s positive attitude will be greatly appreciated as much more of an asset than a liability. I know many people who continue to get jobs because of word of mouth and many people who no longer get jobs because of word of mouth. It sounds like he will be delightful to work with!
Thank you @BloomingGirl that makes a difference to hear!!
Great comments. D is quite similar to yours. At Syracuse this past weekend Director of the program asked the group, “Who thinks theater is fun?” He was a very nice person and genuine and transparent. After the show of hands he answered, “You need to learn the difference between fun and joy. Drama club is fun. Theater is hard work with many disappointments. The joy comes from the true love of practicing the craft and improving to the point that your performance moves people. If it’s just about getting applause, don’t do this because you’ll be miserable.”
I have a brother who learned to play guitar at a late age (didn’t pick it up until college, self taught, etc.) He became / is quite accomplished (professional level), practiced at least 4 or 5 hours per day, EVERY DAY, for years. It was his passion. Play to your fingers bleed kind of guy. His “joy” was in the daily improvement he noticed. That’s what kept him going. Figuring out new songs, eventually writing and trying to perfect what can never be perfected. Not fun but joyful.
@Sonnie323 my D asks in every interview she had a chance about the culture of the program, the vibe between students. It has been eye opening. They are not all the same . FIT goes both ways! One said competitive, another collaborative, another supportive and we weed out jerks. You hear the warnings about them watching your kid and how they behaved but she also paid a lot of attention to how the auditors and student helpers treated people in auditions, dance calls and in the hall and there were big differences. We listen to tons of podcasts with interviews of Broadway and other actors and creatives and that helps a lot. You also hear ppl share their negative experiences with some of these programs because of their approach and culture. In such a competitive process it’s easy to get caught up in desperately wanting a yes, but we are trying to be clear about fit. We also learned that our experiences differed from what we’d heard here or other places so take everything with a grain of salt. Also, my D isn’t for everyone in many ways. She doesn’t fit a box or typical type so they have to be looking for an original.
Sometimes I do sit and go HOW THE HE** did we decide to do this! But also, we have learned so much along the way about what she wants as an artist and performer. It’s not all bad!
She also grew more Slytherin as she grew up, and you need that kind of ambition to tough this out. Lin Manuel Miranda is a Slytherin, BTW, they aren’t all bad! The no’s are hard but she recovers fast and I know she’ll be ok and that means a lot to me as a mom about this future for her. I admire her so much.
@intheburbs Would you mind sharing which schools said what when your daughter asked the culture/vibe question? Some kids are looking for competitive while others are looking for collaborative. It would be interesting to hear which schools said what.
@intheburbs You could not be more right! FIT does go both ways. I preach this to my kids. I chose “wrong” for my first school. It doesn’t matter how “brand name” a school is, make sure that it is a good fit for you and how you want to learn and work. Meet the faculty ahead of time. See if you can shadow a class. What kind of support will you have there? In every aspect…They are investing in you for four years. But you are investing in them as well.
It wasn’t my first choice (I wanted NYU, got in, but couldn’t afford it.) My parents basically gave me – financially – two options. I didn’t go visit. (It was 1979/80, college visits were optional then!) I trusted that all programs were created equal. I could not have been more wrong. A few weeks into the double major (music and theatre – MT wasn’t a “thing” then), I discovered the two departments “warred” against each other (even though I was told it was possible to double major in both). Both encouraged me — almost demanded — to drop the other major. The theatre director was very aggressive and practiced a type of acting training that very few employ today. It involves making you “break down” and relive trauma and painful experiences to develop your acting craft. I have heard of a few schools or professors that still do this, but it is not common anymore as it was then. Upperclassmen in the theatre program were not warm and welcoming. They viewed incoming new students as competition and did nothing to help us acclimate to college and to the department. When I was cast in my first show, Hot L Baltimore, I was told, as a young naive freshman girl who was not ready for nudity onstage (not sure I ever was or would have been), that my part required that. I tried to discuss an alternative but was told that would be as it was. So I quit the production. I didn’t realize that would blacklist me from every being cast again. So, halfway through my sophomore year, when I realized I would not be able to fix this, I changed schools.
The positive of all of this is, I eventually found my happy place with a school that I flourished in and had great opportunities from (on the third try). And that those experiences made me want to work with youth and teens. If I had someone helping me prepare for college, things might have turned out differently. At the very least, I have encouraged the kids I work with to look at more than a name. You have to be there for four years. Talk to others who have come before you. Find out the good and the bad. Nothing is perfect, but find a place that will actually nurture you and help you grow in the areas you need. And provide connections for you to launch when you’re done.
@intheburbs Thank you so much for all of that and the humor you added to. My son is very much Gryffindor and leans Hufflepuff. He will find his fit I am sure. I think I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed earlier.
@onette YES! This is exactly the kind of stories we heard via podcasts and made me pay stronger attention to this and then her experiences at auditions affirmed how important it was. And I’m so sorry that happened to you, sounds pretty traumatic.
@MTMom2024 since decisions on the school side are still pending I’d rather wait. I don’t want anything to be misconstrued since we also know many schools monitor these boards and we have many wonderful alumni who might have feelings about it. There’s also a layer of subjectivity to it since it’s my D’s interpretation of how they answered the question and what she is interested in! But I’d definitely keep that as a follow up question for your own child as they decide, talk to current students and alumni and faculty if they have a chance.
My D auditioned at NY Unifieds and just received an acceptance letter this week (dated a week earlier)! She was told she’d get a decision within 2-3 weeks in the room!
@NYYFanNowMTdad
I’ll be seeing Legally Blonde on 2/22 at Coastal. My freshman S is in the show. will you be seeing it?
@SingerDancerMom, D’s came after auditions were done. If I’m remembering correctly, Texas sends out acceptances in batches starting after auditions end. So the first week they issued results they sent out a large number of rejections and some acceptances, and I believe that’s when D got a version of the still in the running message. Then each week after that (I think on the same day every week, but can’t remember for sure) more people got accepted, or released until they were done. D was released mid-way through that cycle. Her friend who auditioned the same day, was released a few weeks later.