<p>We're looking and I've got a favorite but I'd rather not let my D know for fear she will feel pressured, or, as far as family finances are concerned the FA offer may not be what we need. I know this college would be a good fit. Did any of you parents feel the same, only to have your S or D opt for a different school. If so.. what was your top choice and what did S or D choose?</p>
<p>Yes, I thought he'd choose Carleton and he chose Grinnell. They are both great schools and I totally support his choice. I didn't tell him my thoughts because he was the one who did overnight visits and attended classes. Also because, though I know him well, he knows himself better. I'd advise you not to get too attached to your choice.</p>
<p>Yes, my son was deciding between Caltech and MIT. I feel in love with MIT. Finaid was equal. He loved Caltech. I don't think there was ever any question for him. Now that he's done his freshman year, I still sometimes wish he was at MIT but only because I love MIT and wish it had been an option for me. But he's truly happy with his choice and it is a great fit for him.</p>
<p>Bethievt: I agree with you. It's their choice. Having said that, I had my favorites. I loved Smith and Northampton, but D chose Barnard and NYC. She'd been going to NYC for so many years (sometimes twice a week to dance) that she said it felt like home. She also said she didn't want to br in a bubble, she wanted to be "in the world". She has adored NYC and even stayed for summer this year.</p>
<p>S the opposite process prevailed. I loved U of C, he loved Williams. Brown would have been a compromise, but he stuck to Williams. I was afraid he would get restless because of W.'s isolation, but he says he wants "To see stars." I hope he's right, because if they're happy, I'm happy.</p>
<p>I wanted my son to go to UNC or UVa. He wanted to go to UF. He'll be a lot happier at UF but I will miss going up to Chapel Hill for visits.</p>
<p>Ha, ha</p>
<p>DH wanted DS to go to the U of Hawai so we could visit.</p>
<p>Mine went where I wished - where she felt most "at home", and which provided the best academic opportunities. Smith. She turned down my alma mater - Williams - among others, for it, because of stronger academics in what she wished to study, and that has turned out to be a right decision.</p>
<p>I'd definitely work hard to keep your favorite to yourself. I think D knew that I favored Smith but I kept it very very low-key. Once Yale was off the table, Smith looked like the best fit by far. But it wasn't my choice.</p>
<p>I think I would have stuck my oar in only if I thought D was making a terrible choice and none of the schools on her acceptance list were terrible choices and in fact once you eliminated her safety, all were good choices.</p>
<p>
[quote]
though I know him well, he knows himself better.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This is not always the case with a 17-year-old. So while I agree with the posters above, I think that sometimes it's necessary to gently question their choice. But, at the end of the day, it's their choice.</p>
<p>We LOVED Carnegie Mellon. Sadly, they gave us no money. She loved University of Cincinnati Design School,which also had the plus of being both cheaper and providing scholarship money. Thus, although I preferred CMU, I did like paying a lot less than I would have paid for CMU.</p>
<p>This is not always the case with a 17-year-old. So while I agree with the posters above, I think that sometimes it's necessary to gently question their choice. But, at the end of the day, it's their choice.</p>
<p>My oldest was going to go to a graphic design school fall of senior year- she graduated in biology from Reed
( guess who put their $.02 in?)</p>
<p>My rising HS senior D is currently making visits. She's got lots of interests and the motivation to pursue them without external pressure. She's into theatre, is interested in international affairs, wants a moderate-sized university in the North in a more cosmopolitan area than her small hometown. Anticipating this, I sent her along with her older sister last year when the elder was visiting Brown. Daughter #1 loved Brown but would up elsewhere. D #2's grades, scores, and credentials now turn out to be a perfect fit for Brown. Guess what? - she's the only kid on the planet who visited Brown and didn't care for it. The campus is supposedly too isolated from the city, and the city's too small, etc. It's not that I'm in love with the school, but I keep seeing that it's home to the happiest students, and that most people adore it - I can't figure out my D's disconnect with the place.</p>
<p>Boy, it sure is tempting to say.. Ya know THIS is your best option and you're on our dime so.. But I gotta believe most teens, and they are still teens, would always percieve that school as thier parent's choice, and as such, not fully invest themselves. Did any of you parents out there try this tactic (pulling rank so to speak) with positive results?</p>
<p>I did say my piece, but I also felt like I could read my older daughter.</p>
<p>If she had been focused on attending only an art school, I would have been supportive, but she was on the fence and so I laid out that I thought it would be easier to do art on the side than science- and if she wanted to change majors it would be less problematic at a liberal arts school, than at an art school.</p>
<p>But reading posts on the students board, there are students whose parents have a narrower view of what is "the right choice".</p>
<p>D is attending where I thought she would, but darnit, I sure fell in love with her other colleges, too!</p>
<p>GADad, sometimes I can figure out the disconnects, others I can't. Personally, I would have died of boredom in half an hour in South Hadley but I parked and made my D get out and walk over to the Mount Holyoke admissions office to get info and ask about tours despite her "Dad, please, don't even park the car" request. I hate to see schools eliminated on a snap judgment.</p>
<p>But at the end of the day, the process not only worked but worked well.</p>
<p>I have my heart set on Harvard for my youngest, but she insists she's going to DeVry. She's even written a song to that effect. But she's only 12 so their's still time to work on her.</p>
<p>I understood and agreed with my son's choice at the time. There were a lot of factors at play, including being a DI athlete, being in a city and the Wharton name. He and I both now wish he was at Williams.</p>
<p>gadad - </p>
<p>I'm another who didn't like Brown after visiting. My dad was pushing it, because he had a connection there, but I couldn't wait to leave and did not end up applying to Brown. It's funny how different people will fall in love with different places. You'd think there would at least be some general agreement about what is a "nice" place, but it really doesn't work out that way. That's why I'm going to try to get my kids to visit ALL the schools they're seriously considering.</p>
<p>Nightingale,</p>
<p>On another thread, I was the lone supporter of the philosophy that "my child is only a teenager, I'm paying the tuition, so the decision is mostly mine" (but with a soft, persuasive tone). Fortunately, my D respected and trusted my opinion as well.</p>
<p>This was based on my H's and my own personal experiences: H's parents would only let him apply to one school, he put up a fight, but later said "They did the right thing." My parents let me make the decision, I ended up regretting it, saying "why didn't they make me choose a better school?"</p>