The Good, Bad and Ugly: Lessons Learned

A friend advised “Don’t let your kid apply to a school you wouldn’t want them to attend because it may be the only one they get into.”

I definitely think you should eliminate places that feel “off” for your family after you visit. At the same time, you need to understand that you will have more access to information as an accepted student, so it’s wise to give the schools that seem like decent fits a chance.

And while the student has to like the school, the parent should feel comfortable with it as well. It is highly likely that at some point, there will be some kind of bump in the road, and it’s a lot easier to work through that if you have confidence in the folks you are working with.

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But wouldn’t it depend on what felt off & why ?

For example: We visited the Groton School during summer break & the school felt off because no one was present on the campus except for a handful of faculty members. In my opinion, our bad timing of a visit should not disqualify Groton from consideration. Maybe if there were additional factors such as lack of upkeep of the facilities & grounds or warnings from teachers to avoid the school, etc., it would justify eliminating the school. One bad day, does not necessarily give an accurate depiction of a school.

Plus, revisit days allow one to form a second impression.

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I meant that you visited for an interview and tour when the school was in session and had a reasonable sense of what it was.

If you visited when the school wasn’t in session, you didn’t really see the school, if you know what I mean.

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The school the kid likes may not be the same as what the parents like (or vice versa). This is a key point to remind ourselves.

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Yes, @parentken, exactly. It’s fine if the parent’s first choice isn’t the school the kid chooses. But when the parent figured their kid could apply to xyz, which the parent really hated, because they would be able to encourage their kid to make a choice the parent liked better, and the kid is admitted to only xyz, it often goes badly…

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When we toured schools, my problem was we liked them all. All of them were better than his lps.

And revisits only compounded the problem.

Now, I would be able to evaluate schools, but only because I have seen how a school operates and what matters for my kid.

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We had a similar experience but without the benefit of tours. Despite being in a strong LPS system, we were looking for more rigor. Our short application list had some of the most rigorous schools on it with only one being a healthy balance in our opinion in retrospect. We went from a LPS environment wanting/needing more challenge to potentially attenting a school where DS could being eaten alive in super-charged competitive environments. The acceptances versus WL decisions helped to put this in perspective and we realize that our M10 decisions worked exactly as out they should have for DS. A smaller, balanced environment that will challenge him, support him and offer him opportunities that he could never have in a LPS environment.

For next years families, the name brand of the GLADCHEMS schools get the most applicants. Evidence is how much chatter these schools get on CC.
There really should be an admission channel for all the amazing kids who all get waitlisted by these amazing places. Why have eager kids be sidelined…

There are amazing schools with incredibly dynamic teaching and communities that get overlooked:
Northfield Mount Herman
Pomfret School
Kent

There are many more and have been referenced in CC in other threads.

Junior Boarding schools are amazing if there are families who would consider
Eaglebrook
Cardigan Mountain
Rectory School
And more…

Right now is the time to think about relationships with camp counselors or coaches or others who may write a recommendation next fall. Schools have lots to offer and also want kids who are excited to contribute back and leave the place better than when they arrived.

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second NMH! Great school even though i picked another…

I also think Mercersburg should be on here

(only reason why we picked Hill over the other 2 was because it was a better fit)

Taft and Loomis also come to mind but they are GLADCHEMMS-y now.

I love Hill, and it is a really great school, but it isn’t for everyone. But I think it is worth mentioning as one of the “hidden gems” of the TSAO schools.

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Add Millbrook and Berkshire to the great-but-overlooked list!

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Oh and another thing…

What gives about TSAO schools? They are just schools who market together. They make it seem like membership means they are better schools.

We went to a TSAO event, which was helpful, but watching the parents elbow each other to get to the front of the line at a school table, monopolize an AO’s time, and the huge lines at some of the tables was awful. We were out of our element.

The exception was Loomis (Hill wasn’t on our list at the time), the AO was someone I genuinely clicked with. Fewer insane parents swirled around her, too.

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I would also add Blair to the list of ‘not so hidden’ Gems.

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yes their acceptance rate hovers the 15-20% mark.

I loved Loomis. I agree that TSAO is mostly just branding. Hill, Loomis, and Hotchkiss seemed more down to earth than Andover, Exeter, etc. (that’s not to say they’re bad schools, that’s just my personal experience)

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Just to add on - I wouldn’t rule out Loomis due to the tough acceptance rate the last few years. I live in the area and have been so impressed over the years at how Loomis picks a few great individuals out of the multitudes of students with similar perfect stats who apply from our town’s public school system each year. I realize teacher recommendations likely have a lot to do with this, but the attention to finding great humans (many of whom were largely overlooked in public K-8 because they are humble and don’t stand out in the crowd) has given me great faith in their admissions committee.

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To the point about all the great candidates: everyone is deserving to find a spot.

Applying from Canada was very difficult.We knew it would be an uphill challenge especially with FA. My son only targeted 4 schools, ones who had visited his high school in the past. But, we were limited to zoom sessions and my son had to put together film clips for coaches from pre-pandemic. not easy. All 4 schools were wonderful. But, to another point on this thread, some of the parents were a little aggressive and overbearing…popping in on Zoom calls meant for the “kids” only.

As an international applicant, I know a lot of internationals came in willing to pay full fare and that is tough to compete with. Coming from a hockey country, many Canadian applicants actually hire advisors and pay them to marketing their boys at the US prep schools and to whittle into the FA bucket too especially prep schools that have successfully graduated Division1 and NHL prospects.

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Agree. At Mercersburg, the AOs are all considered Faculty, and, as such, ALL have advisees and dorm duty. Many of them (including the Director of Admission) live in the dorms. So that relationship definitely continues after April 10.

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Yup. The Cate Director of Admissions has dorm duty, too.

You know, come to think of it, what a great question for an applicant to ask an AO. Do you live on campus, are you an advisor, have you lived in the dorms? You will learn a lot about the school and it will spark a good conversation.

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Yup both of my kids’ AOs live in dorms as HCs, and we see and speak with them regularly (doesn’t hurt that we walk our dog through campus…)

@hellomaisy agree. My DD2’s AO is now her advisor! (And honestly, I cannot get over how well they wear so many hats. Gosh I love MB.)

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