My grandkid is going to be born in my little town, just a few miles from my house. It’s the same hospital in which my son was born! I am very excited because many moms here choose to deliver in the big city 30 miles away.
Thanks everyone - I’ve been off the grid, because in addition to welcoming Mr. Rafi (from the nickname you can deduce his name), his grandfather (my H) had open heart surgery this past Tuesday. The kids helped me attend the bris via Facetime because my H was in surgery at the time. It’s been a busy two weeks! So much has been going on I haven’t thought about what I want to be called. I think the decision can wait but my S wants to call me something when he talks to the baby. I miss him so since I’ve been with my H in the hospital pretty much full-time since Tuesday, but the kids said they may come up overnight next week when H comes home. Congrats @musicmom1215, I can say with authority (hah!) that little boys are wonderful!
@runnersmom Wow, what a time for you! Congrats on the grandson and best wishes for a speedy recovery for your H. Yes, little boys are wonderful! After 5 Ds and the first grandchildren being female, the arrival of our first grandson was exciting and he is a complete joy!
@runnersmom Wishing your husband a speedy recovery and you both get to squeeze your little guy soon. I know it must have been disappointing not be be able to attend the bris, but your husband’s health was the most important at the time.
My son, DIL and 7 week old granddaughter have been in town since Wednesday night and are staying until Tuesday. My husband and I have loved having them here and spending so much time with the baby. I think my DIL has had enough family time 
Not sure if it is us, or just traveling with the baby; I know she is not happy she isn’t home with her sisters. That said, they will be with her family for an entire week at Christmas, so I don’t think it is horrible they spend some time with my son’s family. I am trying to make sure she/they have their space, and I was the one holding the baby while mom napped before they met up with my son’s high school friends. Oh well, I am having a blast with the baby!
snowball, one way I have engaged with DIL (who is very close to her family) is to do activities with just her.
A manicure or quick trip to Nordstrom Rack where I tell her to pick out a sweater on me. It has become somewhat a tradition that we both enjoy. Even if she is breastfeeding she can leave for 90 minutes (hopefully!).
New mom’s need some special attention just for them apart from their beautiful babies. And you will get to know her better. It certainly helped me bond with DIL and she now seeks me out which makes me feel fabulous. It took time and a lot of thought to her needs and making her special.
We have always gotten along, and when we visited after the baby was born, she was fine. I do think between the travel, my son wanting to do certain thing while home, and being in close quarters will us, may just be more than she bargained for! My son and DIL are big sports people, so their days revolve around what game is on the tv! When not watching sports, or meeting up with friends, they have been here attending to the baby, exercising or sleeping.
Interesting about my DIL, while we get along just fine, she doesn’t consider me mom, which is fine. By that I mean, I am her husband’s mother and nothing more. This is nothing against her personally, it is how her family is. When I see them all together, I see their bond and how they react to others. I take the high road, and treat her entire family as our family. I have been sending her mom pictures of the baby while she is here; I think she appreciates them. While our two families are different, I do think we get along nicely with her parents and sisters.
I am keeping the baby while they go out for a nice dinner tomorrow night. This should be interesting as they have only tried a bottle with the baby twice. I told my DIL the worst that could happen is she cries and doesn’t eat and will wait for mom to come home; I don’t think she will starve!
My DIL is very, very close to her mom and sister. The mom lives 250 miles away but visits often and the sister lives about 40 miles away. Her mom and dad will be moving to this area next year. The S and DIL live in the same town as I. We get along fine, but she will never consider me mom. The plans are for her mom to move here to babysit the baby full time while DIL goes back to work (she is a teacher and will be off about 4 months after the birth.)
DIL calls DH and I by our first names, which is fine with us. We’re not her parents. She’s also very close to her divorced parents and 3 sisters who all live within a 1.5 hour drive from them (one sis is in the same city). We live a 7 hr drive away, which as they discovered when they came for Thanksgiving can be even longer when you have to stop for baby. I know they were happy to get home after being here for 4 nights - S texted that to us. GD didn’t sleep as well in the Pack n Play as she does in her crib, and she’s probably teething too.
DD1 got married in 2017, they wanted a baby right away and so we have a GD born May 2018. They just announced they are PG 7 weeks - so July 2019 is grand-baby #2 (the reply to ‘planned’ is “we are married so the baby is planned”). I am still a little in shock (she mentioned a baby in 2019 with the Thanksgiving toast, but DD was drinking wine so I was confused and didn’t say anything until she later explained that yes she is pg). She says she only drinks one glass of wine with food…so the babies will be 14 months apart…
I am hoping for another girl, as I think it will be easier for them in a number of ways. They will find out with the 12 week blood test. OB said getting pg so soon often results in twins, as women often release more than one egg (and I know several people who had twins after a single first baby). Ultrasound showed one heart beat.
Congrats on baby #2. At least you have over 7 months to get used to the idea. My kids are 3 yrs apart, so I can’t quite imagine having babies 14 months apart. My SisIL had 2 kids 8.5 months apart (1st child was adopted; she was pregnant when the first baby was born) then had a third 18 months after #2. It was hectic but they managed. I’m sure your D and SIL will too.
My mother had twins (me and my brother) and another one 17 months later. She managed somehow but I’m not sure I could do it. Mine were three years apart and that was hard enough.
My D, because of her age and difficulty with miscarriages the first time around, plan to try for second after about six months of breastfeeding no. 1. So she could conceivably have two close together (or as they’re known in her dad’s family ‘Irish’ twins). I’m sure it’s hectic at the start, but easier when they get older.)
My oldest two are 17 months apart. I think it was a good thing for us, because DH and I were a bit of pushovers with D1, but were forced to set limits when S2 was born. Also it worked well for financial aid reasons. We didn’t get a whole lot of financial aid with just one in school, but with 2 (and one year we had 3) we got a decent amount.
Oh, @runnersmom, what a month you are having! I am hoping that your husband continues to gain strength and will come home strong. HUGS and PRAYERS.
@snowball, Enjoy every minute with your granddaughter. I’m sorry your DIL doesn’t seem to enjoy her time with your family. That would be hard, but just love your time with sweet baby girl. I bet your next visit will be better / easier. I know D is not as comfortable staying with her MIL and FIL, but she does love them and appreciates that they raised a wonderful son, now her H. I may have written this before, but D’s philosophy is: I love H and he loves his parents, so I love his parents.
@musicmom1215, Are you able to offer to care for your grandson one day a week? I have several friends who do just that for their GC. It has really made a positive difference for my friends and their DILs.
Wow, @SOSConcern! Congratulations!
GS finally called Grandpa by a name. He’ll be going by ‘Buppa’ for now.
My guys are 15 months apart. It was hectic, but they were both fairly easy babies. #1 was due to fertility drugs, and #2 was conceived while I was still nursing! My OB said that my hormones we’re in sync while nursing, so I was able to get pregnant. (I had PCOS.)
@runnersmom, hope your DH is improving daily and that soon he can enjoy the new grandbaby, too!
Our kids were 2 years and 5 days apart. It worked fine. I know folks who had babies closer and further apart. They manage to make things work out. I and most folks I know avoided alcohol when pregnant and some of us when nursing as well.
*were – dumb autocorrect!
Thanks for the good wishes. My H is home now after 6 days in the hospital and finding that doing nothing is exhausting 
Actually, they had warned him that even brushing his teeth would be an “activity” but I don’t think he believed them.
S and DIL are bringing the baby over for a sleepover on Thursday and I think that will make him feel a lot better. I love my S, but boy is he a nervous father. They have an appointment today with the pediatrician and they are asking if he can sleep in the pack n’ play we have at our house. Only the most recent in a very long list of questions they have been asking everyone!
My DIL had issues breastfeeding in the first days, so she has been pumping since she was in the hospital. The little guy is happy with the bottle or the breast, as long as it results in food! He loves to eat and this way my S has been able to feed him, too. The NYS Family Leave Act has been helpful to them, as well, giving my S 8 weeks off to spend with his wife and son.
I have to say, though, it’s a new world out there. The baby is barely two weeks old and yesterday afternoon they took him to the very family-friendly beer garden near their home where they had their first date 4 years ago. The bar thought it was so cool it shared a picture of them on Instagram with the caption, “From first date to newborn…” Given my DIL’s age (37), I won’t be surprised if they start thinking about a second sooner rather than later, though I do hope they wait a little while.
@runnersmom I had to laugh about the visit to the beer garden. My son and DIL love craft beers and live where there are plenty of places within walking distance to their home. My 7 week old GD has been to more breweries in her short life than I have been to in my 61 years! During their week long visit with us, they have been to 4 breweries, meeting up with high school friends. Tonight I have her to myself while they go to dinner and yet another brewery. What happen to the days when newborns did not go out in public, or was that puppies? :)) I am impressed with their ease with the baby, and not worrying about everything, although last night my DIL lost it a bit. The baby would not go down for the evening like she always had before and my DIL stressed out. I know it was hard for her, but I think she got over it.
And here the pediatrician “approved” the pack n’ play! She also gave them the go ahead to bathe the baby for the first time. They are quite excited to have this next “first!” Watching them experience all that comes with new parenthood is almost as good as watching the baby figure out that his hand is attached to his body!