<p>I'm through with standing in line
to colleges we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
quite the way I want it to be</p>
<p>(Tell me what you want)</p>
<p>I want a brand new house
on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
for ten plus me</p>
<p>(Tell me what you need)</p>
<p>I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet</p>
<p>(Been there done that)</p>
<p>I want a new BMW full of old finances
My own star on Wallstreet Boulevard
Somewhere between Morgan Stanley and
Leham Brothers is fine for me</p>
<p>(So how ya gonna do it?)</p>
<p>I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name</p>
<p>[CHORUS]
'Cause we all just wanna be big Investment stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the consultant stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair</p>
<p>Hey hey I wanna be an Investment Star
Hey hey I wanna be an Investment Star</p>
<p>I wanna be great like Bill Gates without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up *******s
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free</p>
<p>(I'll have a quesadilla on the house)</p>
<p>I'm gonna dress my ass
with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
blow my money for me</p>
<p>(So how ya gonna do it?)</p>
<p>I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair
And change my name</p>
<p>'Cause we all just wanna be big Investment Stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the Consultant stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
Big Consultant on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be an Investment Starr</p>
<p>I'm gonna sing those songs
that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a pez dispenser
Get washed-up Investors writing all my Investments
Writing em every night so I don't get 'em wrong</p>
<p>Well we all just wanna be big Investment Stars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the Consultant stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and
today's who's who
They'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
drug dealer on speed dial
Hey hey I wanna be an Investment Star
Hey hey I wanna be a Investment Star</p>