The kiss of death

Parent Cafe
101

<p>For D it was terrible communication skills by school president and department head, at one school. D said it does not matter what you know, if you cannot communicate it properly. </p>

<p>At BU, she thought they made little effort. It was basically about how you want to come here topped off by a cocky tour guide. We walked away in the middle of the tour. </p>

<p>At Binghampton, they kept harping about how smart you had to be to get in but the presentation was focused only on science and weak on what else they could offer. We could have just looked at the website. She also did not like the town.</p>

<p>Another school big on technology had technical problems with their presentation and could not fix it. President just started talking and it was obvious he had not planned on doing that as he sort of rambled on.</p>

<p>We like schools that offer some sort of hospitality. Even just coffee is nice. We like when they offer lunch so we can see the student interaction and try the food. I don’t even look at the dorms anymore. I send D in by herself. They are all awful. I like when they provide information about who recruits at the school for jobs and internships and where the graduates go. It gives me a sense the school is on someone’s radar. </p>

<p>Our kiss of love: At Penn State, we arrived late. One of the admissions people was looking for late comers and she walked over to greet us and had someone drive us to the Hub. On the way, the driver was so friendly and pleasant giving us general information on the school. Upon entering the main school grounds, there was a lot of energy . My D thought that was pretty great. She was then greeted at the hub by adorable older ladies that happened to be alumni. The icing on the cake was the q and a session with one of the professors in one of her fields of interest. It was obvious it was his passion. </p>

<p>Overall in any school, we want to see some school spirit. </p>

102

<p>More and more schools show you a dorm room that is unused, but has been decorated by a trip to BBB or some such place, and the college bookstore. Most unrealistic thing I’ve ever seen. Much better is when the tour guide simply knocks on doors and asks the kids if the tour can take a peak at their room–no one’s ever said no!</p>

103

<p>@lia_b - not all dorm rooms are awful - we went into an occupied dorm room at Baldwin-Wallace that was the Taj Mahal of dorm rooms. It was nicer than any house I ever lived in. </p>

104

<p>@Irishmomof2. You mean there is hope? I would love to see that room. Fortunately D does not seem to mind too much. </p>

105

<p>@‌lia_b , I’m sure you pay extra for the privilege of living in fancy schmancy dorms! This was a suite style dorm, it had an upstairs and a downstairs, all new stylish fixtures, kitchen, shared for 4 women who each have their own room in the suite. The whole building was really beautifully done - they had a common room on the first floor that had floor to ceiling windows and a gigantic TV. </p>

<p>Slippery Rock University had really nice dorms, brand new. Not as fancy as BW, but quite nice. </p>

106

<p>The best outcome the college could boast for my major was manager of a Bath and Body Works store. </p>

107

<p>I agree with @snowme that RIT’s campus is not beautiful. However, we had a terrific tour guide there–a very cute, outgoing guy who clearly has a lot of love for his school. (Did I mention that he was cute? Didn’t hurt!). We did take the separate dorm tour, which we liked. (It’s very cool that kids can look at building floor plans and pick the room they want ahead of time). And my D got to have a personal meeting with the department head of her chosen design major, who went over her portfolio with her and gave her some excellent advice (not only about her work but about college in general). The admissions interview was warm also. In short, we liked everyone we met at RIT.</p>

108

<p>Not anything that anyone said, but we were looking seriously at Brandeis when we read that they only guarantee housing for “4 consecutive semesters” or basically the first two years. A small amount of research then let us know that it can be difficult to find housing as a junior or senior. I’m sure many do just fine with that and some even DO end up in the dorms all 4 years, but we didn’t want to have to deal with a potential headache with the housing.</p>

109

<p>While my daughter has decided not to apply there, Washington University in St. Louis’ tour was amazing. First of all, the campus is beautiful though perhaps a LITTLE sanitized, the tour guide was terrific, and even the woman who was in charge of the food service was great. The dorms are beautiful, they boast of Tempur-Pedic mattresses, and overall it was an amazing tour.</p>

110

<p>WUSL’s campus amenities are spectacular! Our tour there was great, including the charmingly clumsy tour guide (who reminded us of Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries). The group info session, OTOH, was embarrassingly cheesy. </p>

111

<p>Not a kiss of death, but it did make me smile: on the tour of Brown, the guide said, boastfully, that the library has “four thousand volumes!” I did take her aside to tell her that she might want to look that figure up.</p>

<p>In general, we found tours pretty good everywhere we went; usually, when we were visiting during busy times, the tours were less than optimal, but people were mostly cheerful. After all, most of what you’re told really is available on the web site–the tour is mostly to get a look at the campus and the students. </p>

<p>The info session that made me want to go back to school was at Pomona.</p>

<p>And wrt Smith: it was the only school I’ve come across that actually asked for an essay from the child’s parents, because they were the ones who knew their kid the best. (And shower sex was never something that came up while my kid was there, and believe me, she would have complained about it. But it is a school where people are open about sex, as about lots of other things, and if that bothers you, it’s not a good fit.)</p>

112

<p>

</p>

<p>A friend’s son went there last year and she raved about his dorm! Apparently brand new that year, too. </p>

113

<p>The Smith shower sex thing was a sign, hung up in the bathroom. My daughter was asked several times how she ‘identified’ and which pronoun she preferred, but she didn’t even know what that meant (she was 16). I was not asked for an essay, and not even allowed in the admissions office. I’m sure that works for some families, but my child wanted me more involved and I wanted to be more involved. Many of our family members were pushing for Smith because of its reputation, but it just wasn’t right for her. I also got the impression that many of the students were a little older. Maybe it was just that day, or who we met, but all seemed older to me.</p>

<p>This thread is about what ‘killed’ a school for you or your child. All of these are fine schools, just something wasn’t right. It’s why they make chocolate and vanilla, different tastes. There are plenty of people who LIKE the rude or uniformed tour guides and want to be just like them when they go to Brown or Cornell.</p>

114

<p>

LOL. Thousand, million, close enough.</p>

115

<p>re#112, Cornell tour guides are informed, and charming.</p>

116

<p>@stepay: I dont’ know about off-campus housing at Brandeis but we are being mindful of schools that do not guarantee four year housing…some schools have housing just off their doorsteps and upper classmen prefer that. In some cases that works, in others it doesn’t. I’m not sure I want D worrying about who is paying the heat this month or whose turn it is to buy TP while studying for exams lol. Some parents tell me they think it was advantageous though, not sure where I stand.</p>

117

<p>One of my daughters is at a school that requires 2 years of living on campus, although the Greek Village counts as does the Newman Center housing, neither which require a meal plan. Most juniors/seniors move off campus just because the cost to live on campus is outrageous. It is almost $14000! And most of the housing is ‘suites’ so the TP and cleaning supplies aren’t included, and I really think for $14000 they should get TP! My daughter may end up living on campus the entire time because it is convenient to get to team practice and weight lifting at 6 am, but it is just ridiculous how much they charge for food and those single dorm rooms. They do have a lot of foreign students who find it easier to live on campus too, but most of the kids who can do move off just because of the cost. It’s in a low cost area, and very easy to rent a 3 bedroom house for about $1000/mo. Even with utilities and buying incidentals, the monthly cost is going to be less than half the ~$1000/mo to live in the dorm plus ~$650/mo for meal plan.</p>

<p>My other daughter will live in the sorority house and that is less than the dorm too. More than an apartment with food, but less than the dorm with food, and more convenient.</p>

118

<p>These are some great stories! </p>

<p>For my D I think the kiss of death was unmet expectations.</p>

<p>For example:</p>

<p>Visit to Oberlin, great tour… incredible history. So we talk to admissions rep who " doesn’t have the institutional memory" to answer a question. Followed up with director, received no answer but did get put on the mailing list.</p>

<p>Visit to Upenn enjoyed tour, great info session, sat in on capstone class in distributive justice. D was excited, read the 120 pg reading assignment. Only 1/2 the class showed up and she was the only one who actually did all the reading.</p>

<p>Swarthmore was the most beautiful campus we have ever seen. The day we visited the intoxicating scent and beautiful grounds were so inviting. Totally unlike the host of pretentious people who accompanied us on the tour. Our guide was 20 minutes late ( polo practice probably ran late ) the obvious mismatch was evident ten minutes in and we left the tour.</p>

<p>Kisses of Love:
Haverford… best tour guide and tour ever. Humble, you’d never know he was a Fulbright scholar. Amazing student research, it was everything D hoped.</p>

<p>Bryn Mawr… getting caught in the rain with just one other student and “Elf” their Chinese tour guide, experiencing her sincere feelings of sisterhood as she told us about her “big sister”</p>

<p>Georgetown, good honest tour guide willing to tell the truth without sugar coating. But the real kiss of love was after the tour listening in on an Econ class through an open door where a professor challenged his students to critically think. Their enthusiasm and engagement was palpable.</p>

<p>Amherst … Emily Dickinson’s handwritten poetry and the first viewing of her expressive “dashes”</p>

<p>Williams… facing the truth… director of admissions saying " we all know if you find your way to Williamstown, you really want to teach, or you really want to learn!"</p>

<p>Cornell … Bibliophiles worshipping in the rare book depository where a Shakespeare first folio resides.</p>

<p>So glad the college visits are over :)</p>

119

<p>^^Williams. Yes, the info session’s and the tour guide’s emphasis on the quality of the education made a deep impression.</p>

<p>Yale. Tour guide asked why Yale rather than Harvard. “Harvard students are very proud of where they go. Yale students love Yale.”</p>

120

<p>Yes, but the Yale vs. Harvard comment is just true, latichever. :)</p>