The logistics of going to school on the opposite coast

Parents Forum
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<p>We're on the west coast, my DD is very interested in going to school on the east coast. I'm wondering how other families have handled similar distances. What's the best way to get most of her bigger "stuff" out there (computer, bedding, that kind of thing)? Mail it ahead of time? I'd feel better with her having a car there, though it is impractical for her to drive cross-country. I thought maybe it would make more sense to buy a modest car in the city where her school is located (not sure where that would be, at this point!), possibly try to store it over the summers and sell it at the end of her time there? </p>

<p>Thanks for any advice.</p>

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<p>sushi - There will be (and have been) numerous and extensive threads on this come late Spring, when schools have been chosen and everyone is planning the big Move In. In a nutshell, you can buy some stuff and ship, ship some stuff from home, use the much-loved Bed, Bath and Beyond Order at Home Store and Pick up at School Location Store, max out the 2 bags per traveler on the plane option when you head East in Aug/Sept.</p>

<p>Relax, you have plenty of time and it can all be worked out.</p>

<p>Re a car - many schools don't allow cars for Freshmen. Don't know what schools your D has in mind. I personally am not a fan of cars at school, but it does depend on the type and location of the school.</p>

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<p>If you don't mind the idea that you can't easily have impromptu visits, the logistics of a kid across the country are OK. Shipping process and internet purchases, as jmmom points out, are remarkably advanced these days.</p>

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<p>Yes, there will be many such threads in the spring. Suffice it to say, many of us have done it, using a combination of immediately-needed stuff in airline-checked baggage, UPSing/DHLing the rest in boxes to arrive a week later, and ordering ahead for on-campus pick-up of necessities, and it seems to work out fine. (Even for those of us who did NOT fly out with our kid, but just waved them into their future as they walked through airport security checkpoints here on the left coast.) Leave the car on the left coast, it's a pain to find parking anyway at most schools.</p>

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<p>my roommate at our connecticut school was from seattle. she never had a car, and she shipped everything out here and bought the bigger stuff here (if you live in a dorm, you dont need to worry about furniture). during the summers, she stored everything at a storage place down the road. its very easy to find friends who are more than happy to give you a ride to the storage places.
also, if the school is going to be in a city, there wont be any need for a car anyways.</p>

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<ul>
<li>Pack less.</li>
<li>Ship bedding -easiest to order online.</li>
<li>Laptop computer, NOT desktop. </li>
<li>Buy extra computer peripherals and small appliances locally (at the college) or on line. Rule of thumb: if the item is not expensive and you don't absolutely need to have it in the first 10 days on campus, then it can be bought or ordered later. </li>
<li>Winter clothing can also be shipped from home in early October.</li>
<li>Did I mention, "pack less?"</li>
</ul>

<p>The main problem is that kids pack for college as if they were planning a yearlong sojourn in Siberia, and the reality is they are going away for 3 months at most (after which they fly home for winter break) to a town that has the same kind of stores and the same products at just about the same prices as your home town.</p>

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<p>We live on the West Coast. Daughter is on the East Coast. We flew Jet Blue. Each of the three of us took two pieces of luggage, five of which came back nearly empty. As suggested above she took a laptop, and we used the lists from the Spring posts to create a checklist. Other stuff we bought in the East.</p>

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<p>My son shipped his desktop home last May ($50) and back to school this fall ($65). About half of that price was the packing, since he needed to make sure it arrived safely. It took between 8-10 days at that price. He has a laptop, but uses his desktop for something or other and needed it. He also shipped most of his clothes back & forth. He left everything else in storage in his dorm over the summer.</p>

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<p>Yes, definitely check if the college allows first years to have a car. Public transportation is great back east. D is proficient in traveling by train to visit friends in other cities/states. We shipped about 3-4 boxes with bedding, bulky sweatshirts, etc, via Fedex Ground...by far the cheapest...about 6-7 days before her arrival on campus. The timing was perfect. Items for the dorm room such as folding lounge chair, light rug, etc, we preordered through Bed, Bath, & Beyond and they shipped directly to college for the targeted arrival date. We bought the mini fridge online.</p>

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<p>Because land is scarce on many campuses on the East Coast, first-years usually cannot have cars. Also, depending on the city/town, mass transit oftens works quite well, and one doesn't need a car. Both kids chose West Coast schools, so we've become old hands at this. Feel free to PM me for details.</p>

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<p>D did the opposite,went from NY to Az.Left her car at home first two years.At the end of the summer after soph year, we flew the boyfriend out to NY(used all those frequent flyer miles) and they drove her car back to school in August,having a 10 day cross country adventure.Summer in between junior-senior year she worked in Az and only came home for a few week visit, leaving the car there.After senior year graduation,she had another driving adventure through the northwest and mountain states, came (flying) home for a visit for 2 weeks and then drove herself halfway across the country to her new graduate school.
The logistics seem insurmountable when they are incoming freshmen,but it gets easier every year!</p>

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<p>The above advice is all sensible and helpful, but I do want to add a thought that CC-ers don't seem to focus on much. As you and your D think about schools, keep in mind that long-distance travel (which I define as being more than 500 miles from home, and of course being on the opposite coast is a far greater hurdle) doesn't just impact the logistics of moving in and moving out. The distance effects smaller things too, such as short breaks (come home for a three-day weekend, go home with friends who live closer, stay on campus to work and hang out, do a school-sponsored service trip for alternative break? All good options, but the first one is not necessarily available unless flying is financially feasible and convenient flights are available). Also think about what your D will be doing during the school year. Is she an athlete, actor, or musician, and if so is it at all important to her and/or to you that you get to watch her perform? It is one thing to take a three- or four-hour drive to attend an a cappella concert or basketball game, another to have to book a flight (often, unless you plan far enough in advance to use airline or credit card miles efficiently it gets very expensive). None of this is a reason to tell a child not to go to school far away, but something to think about and may perhaps sometimes get lost in excitement of the application/acceptance moments.</p>

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<p>mattmom,</p>

<p>good points, but very kid specific.</p>

<p>The last thing my D wanted first year was for parents to stop by for visits, or to have short weekend breaks at home. As a matter of fact, it was a bit tough to get her home for breaks, too.</p>

<p>One thing interesting is that with the trend in airfares, if the school is out of easy driving range, the flight cost doesn't correlate much with distance. </p>

<p>One final note: when it comes to stuff to take, LESS IS MORE. You'd be amazed how many four person suites have four refrigerators, four printers, etc. And you'd be amazed at how little of the clothing and stuff gets used (unless the kid joins a sorority...clothing bills may skyrocket.)</p>

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<p>I sort of agree with mattmom. </p>

<p>I realize that OP did not start the thread to talk about the relative merits of being within driving distance, but there is a lot to consider. </p>

<p>One thing I notice missing from most discussions of this is the high cost associated with traveling back and forth between coasts. Unless you are in school in NY city (or very close to some other MAJOR airport) and you are just traveling to some other MAJOR airport it can get really costly.</p>

<p>So, there is a big difference, I suspect, between going to NYU and, say, U of Rochester (I happen to know the Rochester airport, like many mid-size city airport, is very expensive - and inconvenient.) Also, flights from these smaller cities are fewer and farther between - making arranging travel times tough. (Or, heaven forbid, they miss a flight...)</p>

<p>Also, if parents want to attend a game, parent weekend, or a concert that just further adds to the expense.</p>

<p>For example, at one point, my son was looking at a school in Spokane, Washington. The plane ticket runs about $700 round trip. If we went with him on move-in day, and he came home at all major breaks (T-Giving, Xmas, Spring break, and move back home) that would be $4900 worth of airplane tickets per year! Plus the cost to rent a car for move in. Plus another $1400 if we wanted to visit for parent weekend or whatever. Also, consider one really FULL day of travel each way - which may eat into the break so much that it isn't worth going home.</p>

<p>I guess after we really thought about it, it just seemed excessive for us. Now if there was a really good reason, such as a very specific school or program, or you lived somewhere with no decent schools, or if you have endless money, then that's different. </p>

<p>He ended up 6 1/2 hours away by car, or a $250 airplane ticket. It's OK because we can drive it if we want, but he can fly home for breaks.</p>

<p>Also, maybe some people and kids don't mind long separations. I think our kid is sort of average - I know he'll want to be home for holidays. But some kids want to be home more than that even. Depends on the family I guess.</p>

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<p>Distance ended up being a concern to my H and I, although not to our son, who applied all over the country. He is a 2 hour drive away, but I can see that we won't be visiting too often. We have been up for a day visit, and brought him home for 1 long weekend. He has since told us that he'll be home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but will probably be too busy to come home much the rest of the year. So, in the end, he might as well have gone to California or Chicago!</p>

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<p>Well, we're five semesters into Seattle->Boston and really haven't had much difficulty. S said from the beginning that he wouldn't come home T'giving, and hasn't. He has come home for Christmas and summers, but doesn't plan to come home for next summer (other than a short break). We've used frequent flyer miles without problem for all his flights. We've been to visit once and will go again in about three weeks. He has a fair amount of stuff and we occasionally ship stuff to him UPS. </p>

<p>Right now I am feeling annoyed that he's so far away because he's ducking our phone calls--he did something stupid and DH yelled at him for it--and I would like to go there and talk to him. Since what I'd do is yell at him myself, it's probably just as well.</p>

<p>Our D is about 200 miles away and we do visit her about once a month, usually for dinner (all of us), then I have breakfast with her alone, when we're in the city on business anyway. That seems to work well. Would I want S that close? Well, we'd have to be within 200 miles of MIT, which brings me to my final point.</p>

<p>For some kids, distance becomes a moot point, because the schools they really want, and which really suit them, are in specific places. Here in Seattle, we're very limited in school choice, and S's choices were CalTech and MIT. 1500 miles or 2500 miles.</p>

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<p>Logistics of being far away:First year,did move in with D,went for fall family weekend,D came home for Winter break,Thanksgiving.Didnt come home for Spring break.Came home for summer. Second year,did move in,D came home for Thanksgiving,Winter break,came home for summer,drove back.3rd year,did move in as an excuse to vacation in the west but really not needed.D came home same holidays.D stayed for summer but came home for a few weeks.4th year,no move in ,D came home for same holidays.She never came home for Spring break,never felt the need for "long weekends" at home.She did choose a school where the airport is 5 minutes away so that helped,with frequent flights and a choice of airlines.
D was on a full scholarship so maybe we felt a little more able to justify the transportation costs.
She's a musician so we missed plenty of performances but truly,if she was at a school 4,5-6 hrs away we wouldnt have driven to a performance either.And they really don't want you hanging around.
After awhile you have lots of frequent flier miles so some flights become free.
The only drawbacks were after 9/11 she would have liked to have been accessible to home and after her aunt (my sister) died, she would have liked to have been able to fly home but the logisitics didnt work out.
It's a choice,each one makes what works for them best,there's no right or wrong,no better or worse.
But in thinking about it,my S knows a Freshman girl going to school at NYU (we're in a NY suburb) who comes home every weekend ..that doesnt seem to be a good thing.</p>

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<p>Logistics is an interesting topic and you're likely to get as many different 'options' as there are students. :) As a mom whose third D just went off this year, we've had experience with degrees of 'close' and with needing an airport. The degrees of 'close', trust me, is much easier, from move-in day through to graduation. While I don't think that this issue should be the most influential factor in school choice, I think it's an important one. If you're in an area where travel is going to be required regardless, that's one thing but if your child has several schools, all of which they'd be happy at and which 'fit the bill' as to academic fit, I'd always go with the one closer to home.</p>

<p>Ease of travel, number of flights available, ease of getting reservations on flights, number of connections, distance to the nearest airport, transportation to and from, not to mention cost should all be considered. If you have a child at a school where it's a distance to the airport, where there are only a couple of flights out per day in your direction, where weather can be a factor, where no non-stop flights are possible, where flights are more expensive because of these and other factors...phew...and then you have a family emergency, or a special family celebration, or a homesick student who NEEDS a weekend at home (or for the parent to fly there), or parents weekend, or a special game/performance/concert, the ease with which transport can be arranged can end up being an issue more than once through the course of a year.</p>

<p>From our experience, and that of our children's friends, most kids go home more than just at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. And for those who can't, most of them WANT to. We've had numerous friends invited to our house who otherwise would have been staying in dorms on their own during a holiday or difficult time, etc. And we're always happy to have them but, truthfully, I always feel badly for them that they aren't with their own families.</p>

<p>Naturally, family dynamics are different with every family but we've always attended all of our Ds performances, games, concerts over the years and didn't want to miss out on any of that once they were in college, nor did they want us to. They have been fortunate, in that we are in a position to travel to do this (often lengthy car trips), or to have them travel home when necessary, but not every family is in a position to do so. So, although, we don't 'drop in' and 'hang around' often, it's still nice to be able to visit with them when we want to or when they need us. :)</p>

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<p>Sushi, the logistics part will work itself out, as others have said, in the spring there will be great threads on what to buy, and how to get it there.
The real issue is what has come up in the second part of this thread - is the coast move best for them. My DD is halfway through her first term far from home, and a few weeks away from her first holiday away from home. She's quite happy so far, but I know her Dad and I would have been happier with less convoluted travel arrangements.</p>

<p>Make up a travel budget, based on average airfares to the different schools being considered - then ask yourself if your family can live with it. We would love to go to an occasional football game, or just meet for dinner, but it isn't happening. I made one trip to buy winter clothes for her, and I'm going to a meeting in a city where she can take a 2 hour bus ride to come to meet me - next spring we may not see her for 6 months. We are missing her 18th birthday this week, she will miss her brother's Eagle Court of Honor, etc.
In our case, it would have been much easier if she was close to a major city, because we are at one of those small, expensive regional airports, and when Delta went bankrupt, cut 60% of its flights to our city, which means half the daily flights were gone overnight.
I think this will be a great experience for her, but she probably would have had an equally great experience, and be able to come home for less than $400 and 12 hours one way per trip. We are very fortunate, we can afford her trips, but we can't all 3 (mom dad bro)go up to visit her. Can your family be satisfied with the visit situation.</p>

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<p>Another issue is whether or not there are younger siblings at home. Though S1 is only a 2 hour drive away, his first musical performance is on a weeknight. If I didn't have to worry about the younger kid at home alone until the wee hours on a school night, my H and I would probably attend. As it is, we'll wait for a weekend performance. </p>

<p>With regard to air travel -- weather, airport distance, connections etc, are all important factors. Driving from the outskirts of Boston to Cornell is fine when the weather is good and roads are open, but I think winter travel would be difficult -- in that case, a coast to coast flight might take 8 hours, including airport time, and would be a safer option. </p>

<p>I was also advised that there is something to be said for being closer to school if there are health or personal issues. One friend had a son who was a 5 hour drive away, and went through a difficult time with a girlfriend. She ended up flying him home quite often at that time, due to her concerns about his emotional health. It worked out fine in the end, but I can't imagine how hard that would be if a child were 3000 miles away.</p>