The Notre Dame "Family"

<p>I keep reading threads in which people congratulate accepted students by welcoming them to the Notre Dame "Family." Is this an idealistic label or is the sense of community SO pervasive that "family" is in fact an apt description?</p>

<p>If the sense of family is in fact a reality is it something unique to the Notre Dame experience unlike any other university? I know ND isn't without its share of school pride, but I'm instead wondering if there really is a truly deep-cutting sense of fraternity (and sorority, of course)</p>

<p>From my own experience, I would say that the Notre Dame "family" label is an accurate description of the community at Notre Dame. Not having attended any other universities, I can't give a comparison. But I can say that the sense of community at Notre Dame is overwhelming and within a very short time, I began referring to both Notre Dame and Minnesota as "home." In fact, I'm feeling more than a little homesick (or "domesick," if you will) right now. The people you go to school with will become your "family" and you start to feel an automatic connection with other domers when you meet them out in the real world. The alumni network takes care of its own and people will often stop to chat when they see an ND bumper sticker or T-shirt. I thought all the "welcome to the ND family" and "welcome home" stuff was a bit cheesy at first too, but, after 2 years at ND, I'd have to say that it has a lot of truth to it.</p>

<p>I'll tell two recent stories.</p>

<p>Today, I'm at a museum here and one of the docents, this veteran guy sees my ND hat and asks about it. I tell him I'll be a junior and all that and he says congratulations, good work. He tells me about his uncle who played for Elmer Layden and his son went there. And while I didn't get anything but a smile out of it, it was a nice encounter.</p>

<p>Some how, through the grapevine, it gets around in East County that I'm going to Washington next week. Well, I'm helping my mom cook Sunday dinner and we get a call, it's a nice lady, tells me her son is a Law School grad, he's a legal adviser for a Senator running for president, here's his phone number, call him when you get there. That doesn't mean that she wants to adopt me, but I talk to her on the phone for a few minutes and she acts like she genuinely cares about me, even though she doesn't know me.</p>

<p>I could go on and on about the random good things that come from alums, whether they be real alums or subway alums, but that would be pointless. Just believe in the family talk, I do. And none of my friends who go to equally or more prestigious schools have stories like I do after only two years.</p>

<p>In my experience, Notre Dame Alums seem to embrace everyone who enters into their "family" - Whenever an alum hears that someone has been accepted into ND, they get excited about the news and eagerly accept them into the family - no questions asked! They never appear to judge or be critical about the new student - just excited that there is someone else who will be given the chance to experience Notre Dame and all that it has to offer. And these feelings always seem to be very genuine.</p>

<p>Many students and alums do feel a part of a "family" at ND; but, there's another side too. My son was "recruited" by ND -- flown to the campus for a several day stay as one of 100 "top" students across the country -- I believe it was called Reilly weekend. Unfortunately, his host and host's friends spent a great deal of time making fun of other students' clothes' etc. Son believed that ND selected the host as a model representative of the student body. Basd largley on this experience, son decided ND was not for him and declined its offer of admission. How unfortunate.</p>

<p>^*** does that have to do with the ND family. you're going to judge the entire student body from what one kid did? how unfortunate indeed.</p>

<p>My post was in response to the statement "Notre Dame Alums seem to embrace everyone who enters into their 'family'." My son's experience with his host and his hosts' friends shows that not to be universally true.</p>

<p>Sorry to read that your son was dissauded from pursuing ND as a choice for college education. It is unfortunate that this one event seemed to cause this type of reaction. Surely, there must have been other reasons for your son's decision to dismiss ND. Not every student on every campus is a gem--I hope that ND alums that you or your son come into contact with provide a better image. We, on the other hand, have experienced only the positive from alums as part of being welcomed/embraced into the ND family. Consider the alum aspect of this post! Personally, I cannot imagine, that, if he visited schools before making a decision, perhaps he might have encountered similar situations at other colleges.</p>

<p>Well of course there are going to a few bad apples, but you judge the whole student body off one person. One of the kids who used to go to my H.S. got kicked out because we was kind of a thug and he got into a fight during a basketball game and sent the other kid to the hospital. Does that make all of us ***holes and hoodlums?</p>

<p>When we are young we are bound to act immature and inappropriate at times. By the time these guys are coming back for 25 year reunions, they will be different and they will love and respect it more. That being said, they were probably from north quad, so go figure. South is better.</p>

<p>as a student at ND, im inclined to think this guy is a troll, probably an OSU grad (purely in jest of course)</p>

<p>Troll? …ha-ha…well, I’ve been called worse.</p>

<p>In response to notre dame AL: Son progressed through parochial school and aspired to attend ND. We took the ND tour in his junior year. One of the parents on the tour made a benign remark about his alma mater playing ND in football. The tour guide stated he “hated” the parent’s school. Minutes later the guide, out of the blue, again stated he hated the school and began to detail the reasons. The parent left the tour, telling his child where they’d meet up. It was embarrassing to the tour members. Son and I wrote it off as the “bad apple” to expect anywhere. </p>

<p>Son applied to ND and was invited to attend the Reilly scholars weekend, at which his host and host’s friends made a habit of poking fun at other students’ clothing, etc. Host told son that he and kids from Chicago suburban Catholic schools had formed some kind of group and this was one of their pastimes.</p>

<p>Son was invited to similar visits by other schools, but didn’t experience similar actions by his hosts (not that other schools don’t have their share of bad apples). Son was offered admission to a few top colleges, including, ND. Based largely on the above experiences from ND’s “ambassadors” (which was pretty much all he had to go on), he thought that ND would not be a good fit and rejected its offer. </p>

<p>Is the entire ND student body like this? No. Is the ND student body a universally welcoming “family” as the posters imply? No. I just think that prospective students should know as much. </p>

<p>Could my son have found his niche at ND? Yes, just as at any other school.</p>

<p>Sorry to hear he was so disappointed--It just hasn't been our experience and our student is not Catholic, not a legacy and also was named a Reilly Scholar. And, by the way, we witnessed a LOT worse at colleges and unis all across the country!! I hope your son is happy and has found a good fit at his current university as each college has something different to offer everyone. Best of luck in his educational/career pursuits~</p>

<p>I live in the Chicago area so I have met many, many ND alum and students and I will stand by what I stated in my previous post - They have all been very genuine in their welcoming anyone and everyone to the Notre Dame family. This has been our experience and many other people's experience as well - It is unfortunate that "InOhio's" had a different experience but to post on an ND board that she felt the need to "inform" prospective students that in her opinion, the ND student body is not a universally welcoming family is just wrong. She is making this assumption based on one "unsettling?" experience and a statement like that should have more facts to back it up before she feels the right to "warn??" prospective students. If the people who have children attending Notre Dame want to call it a "family", then so be it - someone who doesn't have any connection to the school should just mind their own business. And it is a shame that her son made such an important decision based on one experience as opposed to looking at the whole picture of what Notre Dame has to offer...!</p>

<p>Does anecdotal evidence from one "top scholar" disprove the assertion that there is a unique sense of fraternity at Notre Dame ?</p>

<p>If we were to continue by your logic, does it then mean that one "top scholar"'s tendency to commit hasty generalizations lead us to the conclusion that all "top scholars" have a tendency to commit the same logical fallacy ?</p>

<p>The original question was not whether or not a sense of family pervaded universally within the community, but rather whether or not a sense of family existed within the community at all. The latter of which has been proven to be generally true despite the expected tendency for a deviating handful.</p>

<p>I am sorry InOhio had a bad experience, but definitely count us with the majority of others. Initially, I was skeptical that the purported level of "family" could even exist. Was it just hype and hoopla? NO....</p>

<p>As I have previously posted, wow! It's been beyond any expectations my S or we could have had. Everyone, and I mean everyone, with whom we have dealt has been wonderful, supportive and helpful. His rector and his work study job have been especially so.</p>

<p>Of course you're going to come across a few unpleasant people. However, of all the people I know or have crossed paths with at ND in my two years there, I can only name a handful of people who could fit the description InOhio offered. There will be a few obnoxious people like that anywhere you go, but I think Notre Dame has a much lower percentage of them than you'd find just about anywhere else. The culture at Notre Dame lacks the exclusive nature that you find at many top schools.</p>