The Prospective BS Parent Library

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

<p>In another thread, someone had asked about review books. Here are the BS-related books I bought for my daughter during the BS search/application process so far:</p>

<ul>
<li>Princeton Review SSAT/ISEE</li>
<li>McGraw-Hill SSAT/ISEE</li>
<li>Up Your Score (SAT strategy guide...stuff like "the fastest way to fill in answer form circles"...don't laugh, my daughter thinks this is the best one of all)</li>
<li>College Board Campus Visits & College Interviews (there isn't one for boarding schools that I know of).</li>
</ul>

<p>Here are the books that I bought for my wife and I:</p>

<ul>
<li><p>Behind the Walls: A Parent's Guide to Boarding Schools (Timothy Hillman)
While the writing style isn't that engaging, this book is worth a read. It's one BS insider's attempt to answering some common questions about BS. Stuff like "Why would you go to a boarding school?" and "What really goes on after the lights go out?" I don't think he links stories to specific schools, it's more of a general portrait.</p></li>
<li><p>Through the Woods: A Mother and Daughter Passage (Liz & Holly Menten)
This is the story of a mother and daughter who explore the Boarding School option. A recounting of their actual search and visit/application process (with schools named) is intercut with stories of hikes they went on together. This family actually visited 14 schools, which I think is crazy sauce. They admit that 14 was too many as well, the broad scope prompted by a lack of focus on what they really wanted in a BS. You can get most of the info in the book from CC, but this sort of compiles it all in one place (stuff like when to request info, go on visits, complete the various rounds of essay drafts, etc.). Feels self-published, available on Amazon.</p></li>
<li><p>Black Ice (Lorene Cary)
A memoir of one of the first African American women to attend St. Paul's. Dated, but the most deftly written of the three books here. More literature than a "how to". If you are considering SPS, this book is a must, IMO.</p></li>
</ul>

2

<p>I note the emphasis placed on the SSAT. I’m an apostate. My kids took the SSAT one time: no prep, no review, zip. Their scores were modest, but apparently adequate. Admissions officers seldom raised SSAT scores, though of course adcoms eyeballed them. Strong scores doubtless redound to one’s benefit, but our experience was that schools did not accord them weight proportional to the level of discussion they engender on CC. With a third child now applying–and aiming at a few of the schools oft spoken about here–we’ll take the same approach: one test, one result, no prep. We take this approach not out of arrogance–we’re not growing Olympic athletes nor Nobel Prize winners, and we’re an FA family–but because time & resources are limited, and it alleviates pressure on the child and our family. Schools judge as they see fit, and we’ve been satisfied with the results.</p>

3

<p>Second Home: Life in a Boarding School is worth a read. It’s a collection of essays from boarding school students and faculty. While a few essays are hohum, many are written from an atypical viewpoint.</p>

4

<p>Prep, written by a Groton Alum, it is fiction and I had a hard time believing anyone would behave like the main character. Liked the details about the school traditions, although they may not all be Groton traditions. </p>

<p>Seven: My d and I read Black Ice. D said she could totally see me behaving like Cary’s mom when the young man who needed a bath came to their house. I had to agree it was something I would do.</p>

5

<p>The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison - details one woman’s journey of finding the right High Schools and Colleges for her two sons. Beautifully written. In a nutshell, I think Kenison believes you really have to understand your child’s “soul” to make an informed choice on schools.</p>

<p>Peterson’s Guide to Private Secondary Schools - Essential! It is from this book that you will be able to compile your initial list of schools.</p>

<p>Sadlier-Oxford Vocabulary Workshop - the “gold standard” for improving vocabulary for any type of standardized test. Series of workbooks (Level A through H) that guides the student through a systematic development of vocabulary.</p>

6

<p>All these books should be available at your library, if they have interlibrary loan. </p>

<p>Old Money: The Mythology of Wealth in America, by Nelson Aldrich Jr. (Please don’t freak out!) I suggest this book, because most of the schools discussed on this board have their roots in a very different era. They have changed in the interim, but I do believe that to understand where one is today, it’s helpful to have a picture of where one was yesterday. As I recall, Aldrich does speak of his schooling. I found the concept of “effortlessness” most helpful in understanding the different world of the established prep school. It’s the model of the (traditionally male) student who’s a leader in sports and academics, without breaking a sweat. </p>

<p>Lessons From Privilege: The American Prep School Tradition, by Arthur Powell.</p>

<p>The Headmaster, by John McPhee. Very short, and superb.</p>

<p>Perfectly Prep: Gender Extremes at a New England Prep School, Sarah Chase.</p>

<p>Fiction:</p>

<p>All Loves Excelling, by Josiah Bunting, a novel about a girl who does a PG year at “St. Matthews,” in the hopes of an acceptance to Dartmouth. It’s a cautionary tale. The author was the headmaster of Lawrenceville School. Thus, the characters and situation are created from long experience, rather than made up to be sensational. In my opinion, the author wants to impart a lesson to his readers. I also recommend the Amazon reviews.</p>

<p>Saving Miss Oliver’s, by Stephen Davenport. A small girl’s school teeters on the brink of rebellion and dissolution, caused by a change in headmasters. Don’t worry, the student’s aren’t rebelling. The adults, on the other hand, are trying to forge a new identity, for themselves and the school.</p>

7

<p>@Klements: At the risk of protesting too much…Every family will have their own POV on this. Some families will hire tutors and send their kids to SSAT “boot camp” over the summer. And others will be like you. I’m somewhere in between, but closer to you than the pro-tutor camp. I wasn’t really worried that my D would score well… I just wanted her to be familiar with format of the SSAT and got the SSAT books not so much for the tips as for the sample tests. Unlike the SAT, they don’t provide a free SSAT practice test that I know of.</p>

<p>@emdee: I’ve read Prep. A fun, fast read as well as being a bit scary, at least to this parent. And I could totally see people behaving like the main characters. I appreciated the “outsider” POV it offered, in the vein of “I Am Charlotte Simmons”.</p>

<p>@Madaket: I considered that Peterson’s book, but considering my feelings of information overload earlier this year…that would probably have been a bridge too far.</p>

<p>@Periwinkle: I love McPhee (esp. his book on Shad) and will check that book out. Also, I don’t know if the Hillman or Menten books would be available at the average public library…seemed very niche to me.</p>

8

<p>Anyone besides me think that the hike in boarding school applications in the past decade is partly due to the popularity of Harry Potter? :)</p>

9

<p>SevenDad, I just checked online, and you’re right, our library’s interlibrary loan system doesn’t have Hillman, Menten, or Chase. Even Amazon is out of stock of Menten.</p>

<p>The McPhee book is not long. It’s a wonderful read, as the headmaster’s personality is so strong, and well presented.</p>

<p>I do encourage my children to Check the Library First! Our library has a good stock of reference books on private schools, such as Porter Sargent’s Handbook of Private Schools. It also stocks SSAT/ISEE review books.</p>

<p>Classicalmama, I agree! Harry Potter’s fans are legion! By the way, I checked on Amazon, and Porter Sargent’s Handbook of Private Schools 2009 is “temporarily out of stock.” Does anyone know if this is a publisher’s issue (such as getting ready for the 2010 edition), or a sign of increased interest in private schools?</p>

10

<p>“Old School” by Tobias Wolff is worthy of a read, IMHO. Although the book is fiction, it captures well the tone and color of BS’s during the '50s and mid-60s, traces of which still linger today at most top BS’s, for better or worse.</p>

11

<p>At the suggestion of another parent, I bought and started reading Shamus Khan’s book “Privilege — the Making of an Adolescent Elite at St. Paul’s School” this week. Interesting stuff so far.</p>

<p>I also bought “Restless Virgins” a book by two Milton alumnae written after the 2005 locker room scandal. I have to say, while I’m still in the early stages of this book as well, it paints a rather unflattering picture of Milton and about today’s teen culture in general.</p>

12

<p>Holy Smokes Classical you are so right!
SevenDad - unfortunately its not only Milton that has these issues, I would say they are across the board at all BSs</p>

13

<p>7Dad, I just started reading this book. Last night I as I skimmed through the book I read passages to my d for her to affirm or dismiss Khan’s descriptions of people, behaviors and traditions. For the most part she affirmed the accuracy. However, she disputed his interpretation of the behavior. I was surprised by her vigorous defense of the school. It is interesting to get a behind the scenes look at what happens at the school.</p>

14

<p>See the movie Race to Nowhere (about the pressures our teenagers face today in schools). You will cry, you will see your kids stress in it, and it will alter how you speak to your teenage child about academic performance forever.</p>

15

<p>Really? Because I saw that movie, and didn’t find it all that convincing. </p>

<p>I do think that the college process has grown very intimidating, and that parents are placing too much pressure on their children to be perfect. The movie, however, was a C-. The movie’s marketing was brilliant.</p>

16

<p>a few more books for the nightstand:</p>

<p>Preparing for power : America’s elite boarding schools by Peter Cookson. It was written in the mid-1980s, so is somewhat out of date. I’m finding it a slow read. A very new book somewhat on the same order is:</p>

<p>The Best of the Best: Becoming Elite and an American Boarding School, by Rubén A. Gaztambide-Fernández. I’ve only just started this one. Like Perfectly Prep, also on my nightstand, it is an anthropological study of a particular school. This one is very new, and I haven’t heard much about it. Got it through interlibrary loan at the University where I teach. The name of the school studied is not revealed. It is an easier read so far than the Preparing for Power one, but it is loaded with a fair amount of academic jargon.</p>

<p>I will have to get hold of Through the Woods. My husband read Behind the Walls and found it informative. I haven’t read it yet myself.</p>

<p>Good thread! Looking forward to other book suggestions.</p>

17

<p>I’ve read the Gaztambide-Fernandez book, I thought it was about PEA. It was quite interesting butr I think inherently biased against boarding school – author clearly is troubled by so much opportunity only available to a few. I guess I’m more pragmatic, these schools are what they are, we don’t live in a totalitarian country and they are private institutions. He raises issues though on girls and how their developing sexuality hinders there ability to get the full essence of BS culture. I liked another book better, it was by a Columbia U. professor, Shamus Rhaman Khan, Privelege: The Making of an Adolescent Elite at St. Paul’s School. I was really gripped by how an these schools create elites from the current diverse student body.</p>

<p>I am currently reading Paul Watkins autobiographical work Stand Before Your God, he was an American - English boy who was thrust in the 1970s at the tender age of 7 into the Dragon School where his father had gone, he later graduated from Eton. He’s a great writer and I also think he’s a teacher at Lawrenceville or Peddie in NJ. Anyway, I guess I got the idea he’d be great for Princeton and probably would love to be a writer in residence there or some such but they’re chock full of other great writers at the moment, e.g., Toni Morrison?</p>

18

<p>I just finished the Khan book about SPS. Not an entirely flattering portrait, but a detailed and though provoking look into some of the traditions, written and unwritten that shape graduates of SPS.</p>

<p>I also finished the “Restless Virgins” book about a year at Milton (the year of the locker room scandal)…a much lighter weight book than the Khan, IMO. And even less flattering. Could have been a Cecily Von Ziegesar bildungsroman-a-clef…</p>

19

<p>SevenDad:</p>

<p>Haven’t read “Restless Virgins” yet; got side-tracked by huge blow to our self-esteem {yes, I am working on this issue & hopefully will be able to recognize that it s/not be my self-esteem that is injured :slight_smile: } when DC was rejected and then WL’d!!!</p>

<p>I was gob-smacked – word-choice probably bkz I’m still reading about Watkins English BS experience-- by the Milton scandal when I found out about it (shows how innocent I was about the youth of our day, child was quite young and I thought how absolutely awful). I am now jaded and have heard similar stories – though less #'s involved at LPS. :(</p>

<p>I actually found all these sociological studies absolutely fascinating–didn’t really find them unflattering probably bkz I am just like that, it made me want to insure that C could be beneficiary of these transformative experiences with me in the background to temper them with my wisdom gleaned from reading these books.</p>

<p>I will have to look up C. Von Ziegesar (there I’ve admitted my ignorance).</p>

20

<p>@flowers123-You’ll be sorely disappointed if you hope for an insightful BS story by Cecily Von Ziegesar. She’s the author of the fictional series Gossip Girl-a series about girls who attend an all girl’s NYC day school. I think she also wrote the It Girl, a spinoff of Gossip Girl which takes in a BS.</p>