The questions about fun and "fun" at UCSD.

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - San Diego
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<p>After reading numerous topics about "dead" social life at UCSD (or great social life at other schools) I wonder what it's students usually do in their spare time (becides studying ;-)); I mean, it looks for me, that speaking about "fun" and "social life", college forums/guides/books usually mean sports and drinking. Well, my D is not interested in either, but she'd like to be at the school where she could be social in the positive ways - go out and find good friends, participating in some cultural events - mostly, musical ones, but any other activities that bring together fun nerdy friends ;-) would be greatly appreciated. </p>

<p>So, I wonder, how does that side of social (or cultural) life look at UCSD? How often any concerts/plays/carnivals are taking place on campus? Where all those nerdy/non-drinking/anti-athletic people find friends there?</p>

2

<p>One thing that I can say about UCSD is that the people here are nice and are usually eager to get to know each other. There isn't much partying but the atmosphere is cool and kickback. I actually really like it here and I had my doubts after signing my letter of intent.If your girl likes cultual events theres always the La Jolla Playhouse, the La Jolla Orchestra and Choir, and there's always stuff going on at Balboa Park and Downtown.</p>

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<p>There are tons of clubs to get involved in. </p>

<p>And my office hours are.... if you want to just chat. :p</p>

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<p>Cultural events ABOUND here. ArtPower! is UCSD's performing arts program and every year, they bring in some really cool and diverse artists on campus to give performances. This year, they brought Anoushka Shankar, who is the daughter of a really famous sitar player (Ravi Shankar, who is also Norah Jones' father!), the TAIKOproject, which is traditional taiko drumming with a modern edge, and a bunch of renowned string quartets from all over. There's also the La Jolla Playhouse, which is a very well-known regional theatre where Des McAnuff is Director-in-Residence (he was the one who brought us Jersey Boys - that originated in La Jolla Playhouse!). This year, he directed a new, revamped version of The Wiz, and I got rush tickets for 10 dollars and AWESOME seats to an AWESOME show.</p>

<p>Also, if your daughter wants some cool, not partying friends, I've definitely found that the most amazing community exists within the Christian fellowships on campus. I goto Intervarsity, and it's my favorite part of college, hands down. As a freshman, they really take care of your needs and really get you plugged in right away - I love it. And the people are fantastic.</p>

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<p>Wow, thank you, guys. So, UCSD is actually a fun place. :-)</p>

<p>What I am puzzled about is: what is so special about college "partying"? Why in any college discussions "social life" = "parties" = drinking? Why lack of drinking scene equals "dead social scene"?</p>

6

<p>Fun doesn't always equal drinking, but from time to time, having a few drinks responsibly and in a safe place with people you trust...is fun. </p>

<p>I enjoy a party just as much as having a long conversation-filled dinner at a local restaurant or dining hall...there's alot to do, just tell your daughter to get involved in what she's interested in. There's shows of some sort going on every weekend, clubs do activities every week, etc...</p>

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<p>anyone know what the greek scene is like at ucsd? i know there is no greek row and that their is that random house by the 56 freeway and what about the surf club?</p>

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<p>
[quote]
Well, my D is not interested in either, but she'd like to be at the school where she could be social in the positive ways

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</p>

<p>Perhaps your daughter will enjoy doing those things once she becomes a college student...</p>

9

<p>Are you sensing some serious apron strings, or is it just me?</p>

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<p>i think myau might be a bit naive about his daughter's interests hahaha</p>

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<p>"Apron strings"? Is it some form of slang or what? (English is my second language, so I'm I'm not exactly strong in metaphors, sorry ;-)).</p>

<p>16399, I might be naive about my children's future interets (we'll see, how it turns out ;-)), but not about the kind of people they are right now. Right now, my daughter refused to go for SoCA college visiting, explaining it by already knowing where she wouldn't apply anyway ("certainly, not UCSB - what would I do at the party school?") and where she would, also anyway ("I SHOULD apply at least to some UC's, right?").</p>

<p>Anyway, I asked here for information, not for your musings about the girl you don't know, her mother you don't know or my parenting style you have no way of knowing about.</p>

12

<p>myau,
If your daughter is mature enough to go away to college, she is mature enough to navigate the social scene at that college once she gets there. Most college students enjoy parties, sports events and just having a good time together, whether they drink or not. We enjoy parties because they are social and fun and we need to relax and de-stress. I think it is odd that you are on here asking questions for your daughter, especially about parties. If she is concerned why doesn't she ask for herself? It is time to let go and let her be an adult. IMO your post was judgmental of what kids who like to have a little fun are like morally and as students. We did well enough in school to get admitted to a UC, so occasionally having a drink or two in a safe enviornment with our friends does not make us losers, or evil people. If we were a bunch of derelicts we would never survive at a UC. Relax, your daughter will most likely be fine wherever she goes. There are plenty of kids in college who don't drink, or drink very little, EVEN at UCSB!</p>

<p>Cut the apron strings. (in other words, let your daughter grow up mom)</p>

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<p>Mostly, because she is high school junior, having 5-7 hours of homework daily . Plus, music practice and some social involvements. No time for anything. :-( (I told her about this forum a while ago. So far, she didn't manage to find the time to try it). On the other hand, I have somewhat more spare time on my hands to find any information that might be of interest for her.</p>

<p>Anyway, does a parent, asking a question here, commit a crime? Should I strictly stick to Parent's Forum (I am comparatively new here and still figuring out the "rules", both "written" and "unwritten")? Are there any "age census" for participation in different sub-forums here?</p>

<p>I went to college in another country, US college life is all new and unknown for me ... therefore, interesting and somewhat scary. I would be probably asking questions here even if none of my children would be going to college anytime soon. Just out of curiosity. :-) </p>

<p>I'm not judgemental about students who like to go parties and drink - as long as they do it responsibly and in moderation. I wouldn't mind if my children, come the right time, would do it, too. (I did ;-)). The reason I asked my questions, are:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Right now my daughter is really uninterested in drinking (being uncivilized foreigners, we don't believe in waiting untill 21 year, so on some family occasions we offered her a sip or two of wine or champaigne - to try it in the safe environment ... she wasn't interested at all). And so far, she hasn't been interested in sports, which I'm not exactly happy about, but that's just how she is: can't do much about it. </p></li>
<li><p>As I said before, many "college guide" books and web-sites (not me!), speaking about "social life", mean MOSTLY party scene and football games. For me, that is pretty much too narrow definition of "social life". I just asked: why is that so? My college social life, as I remember it, included much more than that.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Be less judgemental, yourself. C'mon, you can't know anything about me, my daughter or my "apron strings", can you?</p>

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<p>We were all highschool juniors once too. She won't be any less busy in college. I would be concerned about her being ready to leave home if she doesn't start to show some curiosity for herself. Perhaps she is a bit too used to having you do things for her? Have you taken her to visit some colleges she's interested in? Does she have some friends at the schools she is looking at? The best thing is to send her to visit and stay overnight or even for a weekend with them. She will get a really good idea of the school environment that way. If she is as busy as you say most likely she is a lot less concerned about social issues at the various schools than you think. Social people gravitate to other social people and usually find friends with similar interests. All colleges have clubs, more clubs and activities than your daughter will have time to participate in. She will be fine.</p>

<p>As for asking questions on here, last time I checked there were no rules, BUT there is a parents forum on here. You may find other parents are helpful in their advice about lettting go and letting your daughter figure things out for herself. If she is so unwilling perhaps she needs to be pushed in that direction.</p>

<p>As for what other sources say about college life, and fun. The reason they focus on sports and parties is because that is what the majority of college students are interested in. Like it or not that is the way it is. That doesn't mean that someone is going to stand over your daughter and force her to drink, they won't. Nor will anyone force her to attend sports events. She will gravitate to friends who like what she likes. She will find friends wherever she goes so long as she has decent social skills. If she is shy why not spend the next year encouraging her to do things for herself? In the end she will experience new things in college and it might surprise you how much she will change. She's going to change a lot just over her senior year of highschool.</p>

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<p>I couldn't agree more with you on THAT: I would be (and am ;-)) concerned about her lack of curiosity (not the absence of it, though; she does some college search ... but too slowly, being in the middle of 11th grade already; and she uses some other sourses, not this forum ... yet). Well, I can't blame her, on the other hand; personally, having her current workload, I simply wouldn't survive.:-( In my opinion, all this modern overachieving high school thing is crazy, call me whatever you wish.</p>

<p>I do know what kind of people she tends to gravitate to. All I asked about was: what people usually mean by "social scene (at UCSD, THEY say) is dead" and is it really dead for kids like my child.</p>

<p>All your musings, based on that, about her character, maturity level and my parenting style are called jumping to conclusion.</p>

<p>As to college visiting, we are planning to do it some time, but she might or might not be lucky (or observant) enough to "catch" that "campus vibe" on a short visit, even orevnight one. People, who already live there for some time, might make the picture fuller. Is there such a thing as too much information? :-)</p>

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<p>When students refer to a school as being dead we are talking mostly about the weekends ;)</p>

<p>Dead schools tend to have a commuter environment. UCI is largely communter and UCSD has lots of students who go home for the weekend. There is less to do both ON and near the campus unlike, UCSB, UCLA, UCD and UCB. This is because of the location and the lack of sorority/fraternity on or right near by the school. The lack of support for sports teams and therefore school spirit adds to this quiet/dull environment. </p>

<p>Having recently gone through the school selection process and being a very independent person I did visit numerous schools and stay with friends. There is NO other better way to really learn about a campus and decide if it is a good fit for you personally. Hopefully you will encourage your daughter to make friends with a variety of seniors and keep in touch so that she can arrange some overnight stays. Facebook (a safe internet networking site) is a great way to set this up.</p>

<p>Good luck</p>

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<p>That is what she, generally, doing by herself - except, she has more close friends at UCD (where she already went overnight and probably will go again and again ;-)), than at UCSD (where some of her not-so-close aquaintances went last year, so she might keep in touch with them via internet (just like me on this forum ;-)), but might not feel comfortable to arrange overnight visits with them.</p>

<p>Thanks for advice, anyway. :-)</p>

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<p>I think your daughter should look for organizations that interest her. There's a club for everything. From there, she would meet people similar to her. Organizations on campus are plentiful, so whether she wants to do some activism or just play some board games, she can find a group</p>

<p>As for the drinking, I was very very very anti-alcohol in high school, now I know I can drink and have fun as long as I do it responsibly (like you said).</p>

<p>=)</p>

19

<p>the people here at UCSD really aren't that big partyers...there definitely are parties but there really isn't that much. it really depends on your suitemates/roommates. if u really wanna party and have that type of fun (drinking, etc.) it's definitely doable. personally i think the frats here suck, no offense to any frat people here.
but there are a lot of ppl here whose "fun" don't mean drinking....which means it could be playing games...it's a fairly diverse environment and in general everyone here is fairly friendly.</p>

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<p>I am very happy here at UCSD and have no idea how I made the friends I did. I just did a bunch of alluring things fall quarter and have hung out with them since. If your daughter is overwhelmed now, she may be a bit overwhelmed at UCSD.</p>