The Rejection

College Majors Musical Theater Major
21

<p>Sorry I was not so clear on my post. What I meant to say about my daughters change of heart was that she felt to have 180,000 in debt for a performance degree{even though it was a debt that we , her parents took on by taking the equity out of our home}was too risky but it is for almost any degree,not only MT. </p>

<p>She also fell in love,which was something we never expected to come between her and her love for performing. Now shes not as excited about summer stock and traveling when shes done with school,so there are a number of issues for her change of heart.</p>

<p>She also felt it was not a college feel at her bfa conservatory university, although she does agree that the program was amazing but the fact that it was 7 days a week got to her after awhile plus no dorms,meal plans,outside majors from the arts,etc…
She wanted to visit her friends,boyfriend etc… at their schools but never could because of her weekend schedule and even if they came to her,she was busy most of the time.
I will let you know how things turn out for her and if the ba degree works better for her.</p>

<p>But as the last post stated, its good to let them choose in the end because in my daughters case, I feel she lived thru her choice and can never say that we didn’t support her decisions in every way.Believe me, it was an expensive lesson to learn but hopefully in the end a worthwhile one!</p>

22

<p>riaria - Thank you so much for the honest and heartfelt story about your experience. It means so much to those of us who have our own fears and doubts, and who are not as far as you are in this process.</p>

<p>I’ve read a lot on these various threads about how people decide what they should do, with so many factors. I’ve had my own experience in pursuing a creative life, and I’ve had many nieces, nephews, friends’ kids, who have made their way through this period, sometimes surprisingly, sometimes with sadness and frustration, as well as joy and enormous rewards. There are no answers for everyone, just a long and complex journey of discovery - which can be very, very difficult at these critical junctures.</p>

<p>As someone who has made the decision many times over about how to devote myself to one creative pursuit or another, I do feel for your D and understand how much she had to search deep inside herself to decide what to do. I also applaud anyone who has the strength to make a change when they realize that they have to start over.</p>

<p>My older D, a scientist, has looked on the outside to be on a pretty straight trajectory, but I know that inside she’s had to do a lot of thinking and ask herself some pretty serious questions about what to do, what to give up, etc. My artsy D2 has already cycled round many, many possibilities to understand herself, her abilities, desires and needs. Luckily she is the type who looks and thinks a lot (as your D seems to) and doesn’t get caught in a whirlpool of others’ expectations. Of course this sometimes has kept her from being the “Golden Girl” whom everyone loves and rewards, but also means she always knows why she is doing something and is able to switch gears and find a new way when situations don’t work out, or to walk away when something loses relevance to her. She gets hurt just like anyone when she is rejected - and next year’s applications and auditions will be very, very hard - but I am counting on her understanding two important things: 1) that there are many pathways to a goal, and 2) when something doesn’t work out, it’s a chance to rethink just what it was that you wanted.</p>

23

<p>Two summers ago my daughter attended the CAP21 College age summer program. Her assigned roommate started out enthusiastic in mt but by the end of the program told my daughter that, “There is a lot more to life than musical theatre and I decided not to make a career of it. Six weeks of this is too much!”
I believe a good, long summer program can help to separate those who might be disallusioned later. As for my daughter, she immediately came home and started the very difficult process of transferring from vocal performance to mt.</p>

24

<p>My D went to a theatre audition workshop Friday afternoon and learned a lot of really valuable information. She’s a HS junior, and many of the people there were college or post-college, professionals and non. She decided she wanted mostly to observe, and had a really significant opportunity to watch the directors and administrators of good companies like American Players Theater in WI work with auditioners who are a step beyond her in the process.</p>

<p>She was eventually asked to give a try and did a monologue she’s been working on, was given affirmation that she’s made a good start, that it’s a good choice for her. She also watched the actual auditions on Saturday and saw how people do. She came home feeling like she could do this, could be better than many she saw, but also that it will take work. She’s grateful to have the time and the help that people around her and programs like this all give her. I think it keeps her realistic and reminds her that it’s all about work, just like anything. But the more she does, the more she sees it as joyful work.</p>

<p>I think these experiences will keep her eyes wide open for when she’s faced with being rejected, or having to reject programs (hoping she’ll have choices next year) or eventually jobs. I think we often expect these kids, or think the world expects them, to be all put together, to know exactly what they want and never to mis-step. There is more of a feeling-out process that they need to go through, and thank goodness they get these chances to see what works and doesn’t work for them.</p>

25

<p>I know this situation. It’s terrible, and I’ve gone through the same thing. And although it doesn’t seem very optimistic right now, it can be. You have many more options than you think. Now I’m not sure how well off you are financially, but I will be speaking in the context if you could afford one extra year of college as a possibility, or even just a term. I was rejected from every BFA school I auditioned for my first year auditioning- it was crushing. But I visited schools and seemed very optimistic about the BA program I was going into. Yet a month or 2 into the BA I decided it was not for me, and I reassessed my auditioning attitude, drove into LA and worked with an acting coach, and practiced every single day for a long time. With that new attitude and focus, a focus that many schools really appreciate and like, I was able to get into my dream school. </p>

<p>I think the best thing to do right now is first of all, as some have said, it is completely okay to be upset. It’s totally understandable, this is a very, very, emotionally draining process. But secondly, relax and know that if this is what you truly love to do, and if a BFA is truly what you want, this is not the end. You have options, and you can audition again. You can take the BA and see if you like it. If you don’t like it, you can audition for BFA schools again. Or you might really like it and appreciate the benefits of a BA, such as a sizable academic education. Another option is you could take a year off, maybe take some classes at a community college, while working hard on your material for auditions in the future. </p>

<p>I said this before, but I really have to say it again: If this is truly what you love and want, this is not the end. And you still have choices.</p>

26

<p>I am in a similar situation. I auditioned for both BAs and BFAs, and was rejected from my top choice (which I could somewhat afford), and my one acceptance (a school I LOVE) is too out of reach financially - which is something I can hardly complain about since I knew there was a strong possibility of money being a problem when I started this process. I am just so frustrated and have developed somewhat of a “why did this happen to ME?” attitude…trying to let that go, it’s unhealthy and counterproductive. I prepared diligently, attended a summer program, worked hard on my material, did everything I could, and it just wasn’t good enough. Just about every other person I know who auditioned for college programs got in SOMEWHERE, and while I am truly happy for them because every one of them is very talented and absolutely deserves it, I fail to understand what went wrong with me. Most of the schools I applied to are in NYC, and I have been accepted academically at some of them. I am considering still attending one of those schools with a different major, minoring in theatre, and using the resources of NYC to seek theatre training outside of school. Is that a bad idea? Yes, it is probably harder to manage but I feel like it might be my best option? My parents do not want me to take a gap year because they are gung ho on the whole college thing and want me to go right out of HS.</p>

27

<p>rairia, you would be surprised at the number of students who feel the same as your daughter. The BFA is a specialty program and the best of them allow very little beyond studios and shows. The circle of friends tends to be the other theatre students and there is most likely (not always) no time for sororities, football games, etc. Think of it like being in a top notch football program without the crazy boosters.</p>

<p>The Disney exec who likes B.A. actors isn’t alone in his thoughts about the BFA. Several years ago there was a backlash against BFA programs. Tony Kushner wrote a long op ed piece in American Theatre blasting most of the training in theatre in the United States. </p>

<p>I run a BFA program and I tell students that a BFA is not THE road to success, it is A road. There are many roads, including not going to college at all. The BFA is a rigorous, professionally oriented training regimen for students who absolutely know this is what they want to do with their lives. </p>

<p>How many parents out there KNEW what they wanted to do at 18? And were prepared to sacrifice the things they needed to achieve that goal? And along the way be told on a regular basis that success is fleeting and unlikely? </p>

<p>The B.A. is a strong option and you can be as successful as any of the actor/singers that come out of any program revered on these boards. You decide what it means to you, you work towards the goals, you are responsible for your own training and you can get that in a hundred different ways. </p>

<p>Please don’t believe for a moment that the 12 students accepted to (fill in school here) are going to “make it” while those that weren’t accepted to their first choice won’t. There is absolutely no correlation between those two events. None. </p>

<p>Many students go through these programs and never, ever perform. And the majority of those make those choices before ever going to NYC and live in Astoria and wait tables for five years. They leave the BFA program and enter into highly productive lives as a member of society working in an office, or running an arts program or becoming a chef. And the best part is… they are happy.</p>

<p>Do what you need to do to be happy. And don’t peg the first choice college or the fourth choice as the path to that happiness. If you do, you’ll have problems in this field anyway. Peg your happiness on your desire to be an artist. Then go out and be that artist. You don’t need a degree, you don’t need a license, you don’t need anything but drive and smarts. And a plan B in this case.</p>

<p>“Do not try to push your way through to the front ranks of your profession; do not run after distinctions and rewards; but do your utmost to find an entry into the world of beauty.”
-Konstantin Stanislavsky</p>

28

<p>I think that it is important to understand the specifics of the individual programs. That is, some schools offer both BA or BFA and take many of the same classes together. Some schools they do not take classes together at all. Some BA’s are in “theater”, some in “theater arts” or “drama”. Then there are BA programs that have majors or concentrations in “musical theater” that have very similar course schedules to BFA’s. More BA programs do offer the possibility to minor or even double major. </p>

<p>Look at the course offerings, think about what your priorities are and see what programs meet them. Ask a lot of questions-are courses available to those outside the major? are there private voice lessons? is there an extra cost for them? what about dance? are auditions open to all? what are the opportunities to participate in productions? </p>

<p>With an open mind and a lot of investigation, one may find both BA and BFA programs that offer excellent training and meet their own priorities.</p>

29

<p>kjgc, what a great post!!</p>

30

<p>I have always thought that kjgc was a great guy with great advice and a great big heart. My D and I almost got to see him once in NYC (Did anything further ever happen that play, kjgc?) and I hope we someday have that pleasure! He once took a lot of time keeping in touch with me when I was really down and confused about this whole process!
Yay K!</p>

31

<p>One reason that I was so excited that my D chose to go to NYU Tisch is that, even though it’s a BFA and offers many many hours of studio training, NYU also requires the kids to take two days of academic classes each week, so they do have exposure to classes in the sciences, humanities, liberal arts in general, and so on. Not only are those subjects broadening in an intellectual sense (and intellectually stimulating in a different way than are the studio classes), but those classes also offer the actors an opportunity to interact with people who are not actors.</p>

32

<p>snoggie, the show you are referring to is “Lift”. It had an industry reading a couple of weeks ago and it looks like it will get a production within the next year. Most likely regional first, but there is some talk of other venues in NYC. </p>

<p>and thanks for the kind words.</p>

33

<p>kjgc,</p>

<p>Sorry about not remembering the title… I can barely remember my name sometimes! How exciting. I hope you won’t mind me asking every once in a while… I thought it was an intereting show!!! It would also be fun to see how shows transform from reading to stage!!! (I am sooo new at this!)</p>