@Midwestmomofboys could you please comment on Parade Night tradition? The above comment worried me. Thank you.
@Dustyfeathers here’s a good description of Parade Night : https://www.blight.com/~scarlett/traditions/parade.html
My prep school did something similar until one year someone went overboard and the administration abolished it. I remember hating it, so I was glad.
@Dustyfeathers As I recall, I lined up but did not participate in Parade Night. I picked and chose among the traditions, ditching Parade Night and what used to be called Hell Week, and never faced any social disapproval.
@mathmom and @Midwestmomofboys thank you. Could you please tell me if this seems good natured or is it more like hazing as described by a person above? TY
Not hazing. And last year, as an alum, I received mailings about how BMC was reevaluating the tradition formerly known as Hell Week, which was good natured but could be construed as too much. That tradition has been revised to strip out those potential elements, as I understand, and has been renamed to WTF week, though I forget what the acronym means.
At their best, the BMC traditions contribute to the strength of the community of learners. Lantern Night is powerful in that regard. May Day is fun. Garden party-- the pre-graduation social event-- connects seniors with the faculty who shaped them.
Bryn Mawr, like Wellesley, Smith, Barnard and Holyoke, is not for everyone. For students looking for rigorous academic experience in a collaborative community, on a gorgeous campus 20 minutes from Philly, it is a great school. I appreciated the focus on women’s education in an environment which was not exclusively female, given the BiCo community.
This is perhaps an OT observation but FWIW:
I worked my rear off in college, and my alma mater had the reputation of being a real grind. We kind of relished in that, in some sort of sado-masochistic way. Right up to the point of my D1s college search I retained the view that my school was so much tougher than nearly anyplace else.
Then I started vising colleges with D1. And it was then that I found that the students at many other “good” schools also worked their tails off. Bryn Mawr and Wellesley were notable to me because it was during these visits that my perceptions were forced to shift.
Later on, my D2 attended Barnard, then actually transferred to my alma mater. She said she detected virtually no difference in the workload or expectations.
I’m not claiming that this is a “distinguishing feature” of the referenced schools. But now I don’t claim it as a distinguishing feature of my alma mater either.
[Also, re: 37 ,just remembered I didn’t visit Smith either, the Ds each screened it out.]
Another thing, while the environment at some may indeed be “not exclusively female”, they certainly lean female. Somebody can do the math, but my recollection is the combined Bryn Mawr-Haverford community was something like 70-30; Barnard-Columbia was 60-40, Vassar was 60-40.
This is not necessarily “distinguishing” per se, since a lot of LACs without engineering or business departments lean this way, these days.
The description of Parade Night in that link seems pretty innocuous and possibly even fun. What am I missing?
I think there may be more tolerance generally for opting out of weird traditions than in either Hanna or my mother’s day generally.
As an aside my prep school magazine is always writing about “traditions” that did not exist in my day! I always rise an eyebrow at them. I think traditions can be lovely - we had a day in the spring - always a surprise when there were no classes and instead there were all sorts of contests between the Red Team and the White Team. (Which operated like Hogwarts houses except living arrangements weren’t sorted by teams.) The day culminated with strawberries and cream tea. We also had doors only the seniors could use, and I think there was something around ringing the bell, which is also a senior tradition at Bryn Mawr.
I think both my kids (Carnegie Mellon CS and Tufts IR) worked harder than I ever did at Harvard.
Gosh, I think Parade Night sounds fun. It’s water balloons and candy, not rotten tomatoes or something awful one would normally associate with “hazing.” It sounds about as opposite from Cersei’s Shame Walk as one could get. I think I’d wear a rain poncho from the dollar store, use it to stay dry and then to catch more candy!
@mathmom “As an aside my prep school magazine is always writing about “traditions” that did not exist in my day! I always rise an eyebrow at them.”
There’s an old English joke about Princeton that makes fun of this tendency of American schools. The joke is that there’s a sign that says something like “There is no smoking in the building. This tradition will begin on Monday.”
Seems to me that a young woman who feels traditions are stupid, should look elsewhere or figure out if she’s OK with not participating, should BMC fit her needs in other ways.
My kid (fairly recent BMC grad) is a truly kind, bleeding heart who would speak up if she thought a particular tradition was hurtful. D is not shy at all and has no problem speaking her mind–never heard any complaints about traditions.
Seems like a lot of the Women’s Colleges (and the Ivies and Little Ivies) have traditions (long-standing or not). If that’s not your thing, it’s probably not a match. Plenty of other schools where either they have fewer traditions or else it’s easier (less socially awkward) to opt out of them.
Seems like every school we visited had some version of the “don’t step on this seal/stairs/etc. or you won’t graduate” tradition. At Bryn Mawr, there is that, but the flip side is, when a senior finishes her last exam in the spring of senior year, she gets to ring the bell in the tower at Taylor (am I remembering the name of the building correctly?).
Actually, I attended a very large state U, and there were traditions there, too… they just tended to be larger and more impersonal, often tied into football. (Like Homecoming).
I don’t think anyone should be rejecting a school based on some offhand comment they read about a school tradition on a message board. I think it would be more important to ask whether the tradition is reflective of something about overall school culture that would also impact the question of whether the school is a good fit for the student.
The ratio of women to boys at Vassar is 60-40 and has been for awhile. The same holds at Bryn Mawr if you include Swarthmore in the tri-co consortium. 60-40 is pretty average for most LACs without engineering or business programs.
If I recall correctly, and this is from remote memory, when Vassar went coed the Board of Directors or some influential alumnae insisted that the school always stay predominantly female so the ratio would always be greater than 50% female.
It might seem like splitting hairs, but Vassar is 56%/44%- but @Dustyfeathers is correct that this is typical for LACs wi/out business or engineering.
IIRC Vassar tended to be around 55/45.
@CValle, if your daughter is interested in women’s colleges, she will likely be happy at any of them. My daughter is a senior at Wellesley, but she applied to Mount Holyoke, Bryn Mawr, and Scripps (not a Seven Sisters, but a great west coast WC). She used the same essay on each school’s “uniqueness,” only switching the names and a few other facts, so that should tell you something. She was accepted to all of them, and was offered very generous merit money, amounting to a half ride, and Mount Holyoke and Bryn Mawr. I can’t remember if Scripps gave her anything. Wellesley doesn’t give merit aid, alas.
Mount Holyoke, my alma mater, is in a tiny rural town, but there is a free and frequent bus that takes you to Amherst, Smith, UMass, and Hampshire. Both Amherst and Northampton are true college towns, with businesses that cater to student budgets. Wellesley is a very upscale town, with very few student-budget friendly businesses. However, my daughter takes the bus to Harvard Square almost every weekend, and there is plenty to do there.
Wellesley is very academically intense, and attracts a lot of Type A people. I don’t think that’s as true of the others, but people here may have different views.
Thanks @Massmomm ! My daughter is pretty Type A - I wonder whether it would be better to find a school that matches her intensity…or to find a school that would not feed into those tendancies and might give her some space to relax! My guess is she will apply to most of the schools being discussed here…and I am pretty sure she could be happy at any of them. I will make sure she applies to the schools that offer aid - it would be nice to have!