I agree that they are not absolutes. The exact opposite philosophy can also work…let kids be who they are and simply find colleges that match the student where they are as srs.
My absolutes as a parent are to encourage my kids to be the person they want to be. Some of my kids are very academically oriented; some aren’t. Some have driven personalities; some don’t. They don’t have to be like each other. They don’t have to have the same goals. One of my kids attended a 2 yr program at a CC and has a great career that fits her personality and lifestyle perfectly. Another one will be pursuing a PhD at a top 5 school. Neither one of them did anything other than be themselves during high school. Trying to morph my Dd into being like my ds would have been a miserable experience for her and a complete failure bc her strengths are not his. He is who he is bc that is what comes naturally to him.
Personal success can be defined in innumerable ways and the only absolute I have as a parent is that it is not connected to an admissions letter. My absolutes for the college admissions process is to affirm my kids that they can be successful no matter where they attend.