@socaldad2002 My point is that it is doing kids no favor to tell them if they do a list of x,y, and z then “whateverU” is a real option. Kids can “do” absolutely everything on a “list” and still get rejected. They can have perfect stats, have taken every AP possible with 5s, have focused ECs, and not be accepted. If they have been told that doing x,y, and z is what it takes to be admitted and then they aren’t, they will be left wondering what it is about them b/c the “list” is right. They are left disillusioned with college admissions, themselves, and regret over how they spent 4 yrs of high school attempting to prove their worth to an admissions committee.
For our kids, I would much rather that they pursue what interests them, study what they want bc those subjects appeal to them, etc bc I would rather that their 4 yrs of high school reflect who they are vs. what a list tells them they need to be bc of college admissions. During their jr and sr yrs, we craft a list of colleges that matches who they are vs. spending 4 yrs attempting to morph them into someone “crafted” for admissions purposes.
FWIW, my personal belief after having gone through this process multiple times is that you see higher success amongst the kids who are doing things bc they want to be doing them and would be doing them even if there were no college applications at the other end than you see among kids who do things for college admissions. Real interests and passions go a lot farther than faux polish. Passion isn’t something you can create from a list. It has to come from inside of the student. If they are spending their time reflecting on and pursuing what outside pressures are telling them they have to do to get admitted, then they can miss out on what it is they really want to be doing—which ironically could be the very thing that gets them accepted.
My top college admissions advice would be that there are 100s of colleges in this country, not just 20 to 50, where they can achieve their goals. Help them remember they are themselves first and foremost and that college admissions doesn’t define them. They forge their own path forward and can do that from many different starting points.