<p>Hey parents and all readers,</p>
<p>I went to an above average high school. I was one of the handful of the smartest kids in my class. Now that I go to an elite college I feel like I am a student who is pretty much average--maybe slightly above average. I really liked not having to work hard in high school. Any advice for the transition?</p>
<p>Thanks.</p>
<p>The first important thing is the insight you have already achieved. The next is to love the challenge. You will do great in this environment if you take every setback as an opportunity to learn something new. Carol Dweck, a researcher from Stanford, talks about it in her book Mindset. When students (or anybody) reaches that point where things get hard, and their way of doing things isn’t working- some give up. They say, “Hey, I studied and it didn’t help, so I won’t study next time. It’s too hard, give me something easier”. Others say “What can I do differently? How can I improve?” The first group sees failure as a verdict “OK, I’m stupid. I got a C on the exam”. The other takes the same C as a challenge to jump back in with more enthusiasm and energy. </p>
<p>I’ll search for the link to an article about Carol Dweck’s work (I first saw it on CC)."</p>
<p>here’s the article</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.stanfordalumni.org/news/magazine/2007/marapr/features/dweck.html[/url]”>http://www.stanfordalumni.org/news/magazine/2007/marapr/features/dweck.html</a></p>
<p>bump…</p>
<p>I was in your situation too. At high school, I was the kid everyone went to for help. At university, I became the person who went to others for help. It taught me a lot of humility.</p>
<p>A key thing to do is to learn to ask when you need help. Often, bright kids flounder because they’re used to doing everything easily, and they don’t feel comfortable asking others for help and advice. But it’s tons better feeling embarrassed asking someone else for help, than failing an exam because you can’t answer any of the questions.</p>
<p>Another thing to do is to feel proud of your B grades, not ashamed of them. I finished university with the equivalent of a B+ average, and I honestly do not feel I could have worked any harder or done any better. I worked my socks off for those B grades. The people who got As were brilliant, and I was not in their league. </p>
<p>Honestly, being in that situation was really good for me. I learnt humility, patience, how to ask for help and how to work hard. I learnt that although I was smart, I wasn’t brilliant. And I also learnt that that was ok.</p>
<p>If you prefer not to work very hard, you may need to transfer.</p>
<p>I agree with fendrock. If you want to be at the top of your class without working hard, you’ll need to transfer and pick an easy major. Majoring in something like chemistry or physics would be difficult anywhere.</p>
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<p>Yep. I made this transition myself, and watched hundreds of other people do it.</p>
<p>Develop an identity outside your coursework. For someone whose identity has always been based around their ability to perform in classes, when they make the transition to average, it’s like the earth was yanked out from under them. They can end up feeling worthless and like they don’t know who they are. So, while NOT neglecting your schoolwork, find new things, and new aspects of who you are, to build your self-image around. Make yourself into a multi-dimensional person, rather than a class-acing machine.</p>
<p>Also, take this opportunity to learn/hone your humility and empathy (and your patience and work ethic). It’s a really good opportunity for that.</p>
<p>Then again, like fendrock said, if you’re not willing to work hard, this may not be the best place for you.</p>
<p>If you’re really about average, or a bit above average, in your college, rejoice! At last, you’re surrounded by people like you! Isn’t that much better than what you experienced in high school?</p>
<p>It depends what is a goal, if one wants to be smartest, then be smartest, if one wants to be average, then be average. The level of commitment will determine the outcome. There is no reason for any kind of transition, just set a goal and develop work habits to accomodate your goal.</p>
<p>Something that stuck with me from my first son’s college matriculation.</p>
<p>The University President said, “Look around you. 90% of you were in the top 10% of your high school class. I guarantee that 90% of you will not be graduating from here in the top 10% of the class.” He reminded the students that they were there to get the best education available, and that a good part of that education would come from being among the best and the brightest and learning from one another…they weren’t in high school playing the numbers game any more, and that they weren’t in direct competition with one another so they could be class valedictorian.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about being “average” because where you are it’s not a bad thing to be. Just enjoy getting the education that comes with being among the best and the brightest…and remember you are contributing to the others’ education as well.</p>
<p>Both my daughters were / are in the same situation as you are, and both of them have loved going into an environment in which they are the norm. Marching to a different drum in HS was often lonely for them. Having the interests they do in the college setting where they are now makes them “interesting” instead of “weird.” They’re working much harder in college than they had to in HS, but they say that when that’s the norm of the campus culture, it doesn’t feel so much like work.</p>
<p>This sentence really jumped out at me in your original post:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Let me suggest two possibilities:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You really are average in college, and you can’t do better than that.</p></li>
<li><p>Because high school was easy for you, you didn’t develop the study skills you need to be as successful as you could be in college.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Do you think that you might be in situation #2? A lot of students who were top of the academic heap in high school find themselves in that situation. And it can be remedied. There are a lot of resources on campus to help you develop high-level study skills – tutoring centers, academic advising, etc. You may want to take advantage of them. If you make an effort to become a more efficient learner, you may find that you’re not average in college after all.</p>
<p>The same thing happened to me. I went from having a 98.8 unweighted GPA in high school (with hard classes) to making a 45 on my first college exam, in honors physics. Wow, what a wakeup call! I was all “Poor me,” at first, but then realized I needed to get with the program. I got a physics tutor and worked really hard. I still made a C that semester, but bumped it up to a B second semester, and finished college with an overall 3.8 GPA in engineering. So YOU CAN DO IT, but you will have to decide to work hard! Don’t be afraid to spend a lot of time talking to professors. Even though I went to Texas, a HUGE school, I found the profs to be accessible and willing to help anyone who asked.</p>
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<p>Quote:
"I really liked not having to work hard in high school. " </p>
<p>Let me suggest two possibilities:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You really are average in college, and you can’t do better than that.</p></li>
<li><p>Because high school was easy for you, you didn’t develop the study skills you need to be as successful as you could be in college.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Do you think that you might be in situation #2? A lot of students who were top of the academic heap in high school find themselves in that situation. And it can be remedied. There are a lot of resources on campus to help you develop high-level study skills – tutoring centers, academic advising, etc. You may want to take advantage of them. If you make an effort to become a more efficient learner, you may find that you’re not average in college after all. <<<<<</p>
<p>This happens to many kids who come from “good” schools that really weren’t that demanding (not much homework, very few “real essays” assigned, no research assignments, etc). My DS1 used to complain and ask why we “wasted” the money to send him to private schools. Now that he’s in college, he knows why. While he is excelling, he sees the kids who were “top” at their schools being shocked with getting B’s (or even C’s) for the first time in their lives.</p>
<p>mom2collegekids,
You are right. Kids who had to apply themselves in HS, continue doing well in college. D. has always had to work very hard, she has the same results in college (college junior) as in HS. She commented that her Honors classes (that were not even weighted at her private school) prepared her better than other kids AP classes. Profs noticed also and she was hand picked by Chem. prof to be Supplemental Instructor (paid tutor), kids love her sessions too, they credit her with grade improvement in class. D has been thanking her HS science teacher.</p>
<p>If you don’t want to work hard, what are you doing in an “elite” school?</p>
<p>Natural smarts will only take you so far; at some point you have to work a little if you want to learn. And realize that even trying your best may not put you ahead of some of the brilliant people in your current environment, but at least you will pass your courses!</p>