<p>Hi. I'm posting this to clear my conscious. I'll warn you right now that it might turn out to be a REALLY long post and you might view me as selfish or whatever else but I really have to say this. It's been way overdue. </p>
<p>First of all I'm 20 years old and I love my life. In high school I was a popular guy and the ladies loved me. I'm a charmer and everyone loves talking to me. I have the perfect friends who support everything I do and a beautiful girlfriend who I will be proposing to soon. I have my whole life planned out and it's pretty much perfect to the last bit. It couldn't get any better than that right?</p>
<p>Lets stop right there. Everything you just read is a complete LIE. I'm 20 years old and a freshman in college. In high school I was a quiet guy and barely ever talked to girls let alone had a girlfriend. I'm not a charmer at all, in fact I never even try to talk to girls that much. I've only ever had one girlfriend and that was long long ago in middle school. The farthest I've ever gone with a girl was making out and a hand job. She had to literally jump on me because I was too scared to make the first move even though I KNEW she wanted me. I'm a pre-pharmacy student but it's not even what I want to do and I have nothing planned out. I had a huge crush on this girl in 8th grade and I probably still do. I knew for a fact she liked me too but once again I was too scared to try anything. I'm not actually obsessed with this girl or anything I'm just using it as an example. She tried so many times to let me know she liked me (at high school parties and such) but I still didn't make the first move because I'm a coward like that. </p>
<p>At this point you're probably thinking I'm some fat nerdy kid with no self confidence right? WRONG. I'm quite the opposite. I'm probably stronger and have a nicer body than a lot of quarterbacks. I have average looks and girls always tell me they get lost in my green eyes. I wouldn't say I am overflowing with confidence but I'm not really lacking in confidence either. I'm not trying to brag or anything because I have nothing to brag about. Even 5x less attractive guys than me probably have more experience with girls than I do. Don't get me wrong, attractive girls hit on me all the time and give me all the positive signals but it's mainly because I'm too much of a coward to talk to girls even though I've never actually been rejected. For some reason I don't even try to talk to girls and I've never actually had a real friend that was a girl. </p>
<p>Oh I "forgot" to mention that I'm bi. No one knows this because it's not something I'm exactly proud of. I really doubt I will ever come out as bi...I'm just too much of a coward. Anyways, moving on. </p>
<p>In high school one of my friends asked me if I was gay because I never talked to girls. It was one of those awkward moments and we just laughed it off. </p>
<p>But now I'm in college and I thought that maybe things would change, but thats not the case. People always think I'm a really cool guy and I must be a player because I have a nice body etc. Part of the reason for this is because I've been lying a lot. At orientation I got to know a few frats and started hanging out with them a lot. Of course they assumed I was a pretty cool guy and soon enough I got an invitation to join them. I kept blowing them off though because I didn't want to pay the dues. So now I'm kind of stuck with almost no friends but lots of acquaintances. I pretty much just go to class, go back to my dorm, hit the gym, go out on some weekends if I can find a party (which is rare because my uni isn't a party school). </p>
<p>I know I've written a lot of stuff here and it might all seem pointless but I just needed to tell someone that I'm a huge coward and a liar and a virgin at 20 years old. And ultimately I guess I'm just a lonely guy. </p>
<p>That's pretty much it. You don't even need to reply, because I probably won't even reply back. But I just needed to get that off my chest.</p>
<p>Well…coming from a gay man with some self-confidance issues… I think you need to start by being more comfortable with yourself as bi, or possibly even gay outright. You shouldn’t be ashamed of it, at all, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. The people who tell you it’s wrong, it’s sinful, it’s evil, they’re the evil ones, mmkay? Just ignore them. The people who have a problem with it aren’t your friends, if that’s why you’d be afraid to be “out” to them. You sound like a genuine person who wears a front to mask what you’re feeling inside.</p>
<p>^Being gay isn’t classified as a psychological disorder anymore. I really hope poster #3 is a ■■■■■.</p>
<p>To the OP - I’m sorry you’re so lonely. I know this kind of adivce is given a lot in this forum, but are there any clubs or anything you would be interested in joining? It’s good that you go out on weekends, but it’s probably not healthy to go to class and then stay cooped up in your dorm the rest of the day, every day. That’s basically what I did last year (and I didn’t even go out on weekends like you do), and over time I began to realize how much it was wearing on me. I wasn’t exactly miserable, but when I looked back, I realized how it had been grinding me down, little by little, and that while I wasn’t miserable, I couldn’t truthfully say that I was “happy.” So this year I’m joining more things, and it’s helping. I feel a lot better about this year than last year. </p>
<p>So if there are any clubs you are even a tiny bit interested in, join them! I should add that I don’t really have many “friends” as a result of the clubs I’m in, but just going out and DOING things makes me feel so much better. Most of my friends come from my dorm. If you’re trying to make friends, maybe you could try to hang out more with people in your dorm?</p>
<p>And also, I agree with Itachirumon that you should become more comfortable with who you are. Just doing that could make you so much happier. Even if you don’t come out to other people, accepting it just for yourself could be a huge relief of a burden you might not even realize you’re carrying.</p>
<p>Good luck! I know you said you might not reply back, but I hope you do. If not, then I hope posting here at least made you feel a little better.</p>
<p>“I’m probably stronger and have a nicer body than a lot of quarterbacks. I have average looks and girls always tell me they get lost in my green eyes.”</p>
<p>mate, you’re doing something incredibly ****ing wrong if you’re still a virgin not by choice</p>
<p>You sound a lot like me except for the gay tendencies and perfect body part (blue eyes, ~80th percentile body). If you happen to see a girl’s eyes lingering for more than 5 seconds on you at one of the parties you go to, go over to her and tell her you want to **** her. It may not work the first or second time but it will work. Trust me. </p>
<p>After that you will have enough (fake) self confidence to start living your life and making some real self confidence. Good luck</p>
<p>for those of you who aren’t sure that URAFGT is ■■■■■, I recommend that you do two things.</p>
<ol>
<li>Look at his past posts.
and</li>
<li>And someone correct me if they think I’m wrong, but it looks to me that urafgt is probably a clever way to abbreviate the words “ur a f-a-g-g-o-t”
Thus by the looks of his name, I think it is certainly safe to assume that urafgt is a ■■■■■.</li>
</ol>
<p>^ I didn’t even notice the abbreviations, haha.</p>
<p>Anyway, I think it is difficult for men to come out as bisexuals. And in general, there is a stigma with bisexuality. Even surprising, bisexuals get crap from some homosexuals, which I find a bit unfair. =</p>
<p>There is nothing to be ashamed of though, OP. I can’t really tell if your post was addressing your bisexuality or your “loneliness” in general, but hang in there man.</p>
<p>urafgt was going on about “negroes” in another post. CLEARLY a ■■■■■ (based on that, and the username).</p>
<p>and yes, urafgt, there is concrete evidence against what you said. You said homosexuality is a disorder. Only the APA has the right to claim something is a disorder, and they decided years and years ago to remove it from the dsm. Therefore, you are wrong.</p>
<p>If your first time was with some girl you didn’t care much about, you’d most likely regret it in the long run like I do. Sex =/= Confidence. Get out just be yourself, relax, and smile.</p>
<p>^Claiming that the APA are making revisions to the DSM based on public pressure or personal agenda rather than scientific research is tantamount to saying that the APA is unfit for describing pschological disorders.</p>
<p>^
Your response is in no way a valid one. Please come back when you have achieved a basic ability to comprehend the English language. Or rather, don’t.</p>
The APA doesn’t “diagnose” these disorders, you half-wit.
Since it is the responsibility of the APA to provide an accurate and useful description/classification of these disorders in the DSM, they are certainly “unfit” if they are lying. We are talking about the DSM here, not whether the APA conducts valid research behind closed doors, is capable of doing so, etc. Still, please provide your sources for this idea that the APA is “concealing facts from the public.”</p>
<p>@aspire – I would preface that by saying you mean regular counseling and not ex-gay therapy, two totally different things there and the second one could leave him a suicidal wreck. I would agree counseling would absolutely help him come to terms with his emotions and such, ex-gay therapy…not so much.</p>
<p>^ Hahahaha. Well at least they banned that ■■■■■.</p>
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<p>Oh rymd :(</p>
<p>You’ll find “that girl” one day. I’m turning 21 in 4 months and I haven’t had a boyfriend! The other day my dad told me how much he was proud of me. I thought he was talking about school, but finds out he was proud of me because I never had a boyfriend and never became pregnant 0.o</p>