I was offering WL advice for 2016 and I made that pretty clear in my post . 
@Photographermom,
Where are you getting this information from? Iâve sent kids to four different competitive private schools (2 day, 2 boarding) and Iâve never seen a requirement to withdraw from waiting lists on any of the contracts. Schools ask for a hefty deposit, and if a student withdraws the school keeps it, but they expect that theyâll lose a certain number of students to summer melt, and FA has nothing to do with any of this. In fact, some schools have FA waiting lists, meaning that a student can only be taken off the list if FA is freed up by another studentâs withdrawal.
I looked at the contract for my new 9th grader. It says nothing about waiting lists. The closest language is:
Not a word about waiting lists or even new applications to other schools. The bottom line is that theyâll doubtless be disappointed if after accepted their offer you later choose to attend another school, and the school gets to keep your money, but they donât in any way restrict you from pursuing spots at other schools after accepting a spot at theirs. I believe this is standard for schools in this area,
It may be that there are schools that require applicants who have signed an enrollment contract to withdraw from other waiting lists, but Iâve never heard of one and I know lots of kids who have shifted schools after the initial contracts are signed. After all, the waiting lists donât usually start moving until after the contract due date has passed and the school sees how many remaining spots they have.
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A standard does exist. People can choose to ignore it or go to great lengths to work around it but the standard is always there. @Sue22- Iâm going to bow out on this thread for now.
@PhotographerMom,
I know youâve bowed out of this conversation, so I donât expect you to answer this question, but Iâm not sure where people think this standard lies. As Iâve said Iâve been through the application process multiple times. My kids have been at private K-8âs that send the vast majority of their students to private secondary schools, and the secondary school counselors are very explicit about the protocols for accepting offers and remaining on waiting lists. Here are what I understand the protocols to be:
If youâre accepted by your first choice school return the contract as soon as possible. It helps the school manage their enrollment.
Notify any school you donât want to attend as soon as possible. It may make room for another student available before April 10.
Donât stay on the waiting list of a school you wouldnât attend.
Donât accept multiple offers of admission. Make your choice before April 10. N.b., this does not apply to waiting lists, just to offers of admission.
If you have signed a school contract but are admitted off a waiting list at another school notify the first school as soon as possible. Be aware that you will lose any money youâve given the school up to that point.
Be honest. Donât tell a school itâs your first choice if itâs not true. Donât try to get a school to match a fake FA offer.
Donât try to game the system, for instance, by applying as a boarder then trying to switch to day student status.
MODERATORâS NOTE:
Iâve addressed this on another thread, but it apparently needs repeating.
This thread is not an opportunity to throw shade at a particular person. Discussing someone in the third person and assuming facts not in evidence is not only rude, it is a violation of Terms of Service.
As asked on the other thread opened about this, who then remains on the waiting list if no one who has accepted a spot is supposed to take those waitlist positions when they are offered? Only students shut out from admissions completely? Not sure what this âstandardâ is that you speak of, but makes no sense.
We were advised through the process by a former Dean of Admissions at a well regarded ISL school - he is also an ordained Episcopal priest and like family.
At no point did he tell us a deposit at one place voids a waitlist spot. In fact, he told us the opposite. Put money down and live in hope.
All of our kids end up at great schools. They are lucky. I think there is NOTHING dishonest about this. Family friends just faced this losing a deposit at ELON in favor of a NYU space that opened up.
It is also interesting that this âstandardâ apparently has a financial aid component, as the example discussed specifically mentions it. Is the âstandardâ that wait lists are only for wealthy students? Smacks of classism to me⊠and it is illogical. The school who loses a full pay student to another school then loses that full pay revenue. If they lose a student getting aid (which is really just a discount), they lose less income. And, of course, they then make an offer to someone on their waitlist. So likely some or all of the lost revenue is replaced regardless. Gotta say, this type of âstandardâ is the type of thing that gives the BS world a bad name. Glad that very few people here seem to buy into it.
I donât believe there is such a standard. The notion seems to be that if one of the many schools offered someone significant FA and âsaved their dayâ, then they should be utmostly grateful. Committing to the generous offer from one school but staying on another schoolâs wait list and ultimately taking the spot from the wait list is considered ungrateful or even traitorous. While this notion is not totally unreasonable, it is assuming that the two schools involved had no substantial differences to the individuals involved in the situation. In other words, it has turned an acceptable âbusiness decisionâ into a moral dilemma.
With all due respect to our friends on the main college board, there are a few differences in the BS world which is very small and does operate by some courtesies that I feel are more easily lost in a pool as vast as the college pool but even there, boarding schools do operate under some ârules.â
I believe the issue that PhotoMom wants to discuss is not based on contractual issues or FA status but, instead, what the students and parents who participate in BS admissions feel is acceptable behavior in the situation she describesâwhen a commitment has been made to BS A but BS B makes an offer to a WL applicant without knowing that the applicant has made a commitment to BS A. In the BS world, if BS B knew about the prior commitment, it would not consider making the offer, that is a âcourtesyâ boarding schools respect among each other. So, I think the âethicalâ dilemma she wants to explore is should the applicant have to disclose the prior commitment to BS B knowing that if they do so, most likely no offer will be made? It seems that most here feel that free agency reigns and it is OK to avoid full disclosure. That is a legitimate opinion.
But I would also like to make a point about the courtesies in the BS world that do inform their admissions processes. I will keep my comments to my experience at Choate, so if any other BS student or parent is familiar with a different approach at their BS, they can offer another POV.
In the BS college admissions process that we just went through, all seniors were ârequiredâ to withdraw any remaining applications (applications, not just WLs!) from all colleges after a decision was made. Did the CC stand next to each student or go in to all of their accounts and do it for them to make sure it was done? No, it was required by the âcourtesiesâ the school abides by and, indirectly, by the honor code that every student signed.
Here is the information we were sent:
The idea is that once a decision is made, you take yourself out of the running at any other school as a courtesy to fellow classmates/applicants. You do not remain on WLs or leave later-decision applications open hoping for a better offer. You said yes to one school; the process is over for you. Do some disregard this? Of course. Do you feel that is the right thing to do? I believe that is the question PhotoMom is posing. What I am trying to suggest is that, in the BS world, there are pretty clear signals that the schools do not approve of or encourage this behavior, so what does the BS community think about it?
As for WLs having no meaning if everyone took themselves off of them, I would argue that WLâs purged of those who made other commitments are clean WLs comprising EXACTLY the applicants a school is looking for â those with no other commitments who are eager to say âYES!â to your school.
As I read this, it is telling students to notify colleges where they have ACCEPTANCES that they have made another choice. Of course. That is courteous, partly because it allows the colleges to figure out if they need to go to their waitlist! But it does not say to vacate the waitlist if you are on one. If they were saying that, my response would be, âYou are paying a premium price for THAT kind of GC advice?â Really â you think waitlists should only be for students who are shut out? Some kid who didnât apply to any safeties would love your approach when they got into Harvard because everyone who got an acceptance anyplace dropped off the waitlist. Silly.
WL is a WL is a WL. Schools pulling up from WL post A10 are expecting that whoever they choose to pull up may already have committed to another school. Itâs a longer shot, but no longer than the shot for the students who choose to remain on that WL post A10. While I agree that BS world is smaller than college world, letâs not make it sound so âpersonalâ. In the end, schools try to choose and hopefully yield the students they want most and students try to gain the best chance of getting in the school they want most. As I quoted from application ethics on college board in another thread, even from the ethics point of view, committing to a school by the deadline while remaining on a WL is legitimate. I donât see why it cannot be applied to BS.
Since none of the BS enrollment contracts we read had anything about giving up other wait lists and our public school counselor and the principal knew nothing about boarding schools, we were not advised nor aware of these standards, rules nor courtesies. I think that more and more people who are unfamiliar with BSs are applying to BSs and schools are reaching out and marketing aggressively.
Thus I think that âsummer meltsâ will become more common and schools are prepared to deal with them.
As time goes by, I think that this old rule/standard that once was useful to the schools in some way will become irrelevant as they are not adversely harmed and routinely deal with it by having a large pool of wait lists with equally promising students.
I donât think this merits ethics discussion. Not knowing manners, perhaps, but not unethical.
Yes, it is telling students to notify colleges where they have acceptances, but it also applied to withdrawing apps at colleges where the decision was pending. After our son made his commitment, he was asked to withdraw his remaining six unresolved applications as they should not have had any more value to him but those potential spots DID have value to other classmates. Did he want to see what those answers would have been? Yes; he was curious. Did he get to? No. I did not mean this as a perfect example, but to indicate the type of non-contractual courtesies and expected behaviors that do exist in the BS world.
As another example, perhaps it would surprise you to know that, in the BS world, another âruleâ is that the number of applications to some highly-selective colleges are effectively limited; the entire class is not âallowedâ to apply to every single one of the usual suspects even when most of the class is academically qualified when the BS knows the student doesnât have a shot in hell and they need to protect their relationships with those colleges knowing that their BS will only get a handful of slots. Can they actually/physically stop a student from applying? No, but they donât have to support the application and that, effectively, kills it. What they generally do, though, is counsel students to apply to other excellent colleges where they do have a reasonable shot at acceptance, but they can be very forthright in the counseling process. Itâs not a free-for-all.
Again, my reason for posting here is to suggest that in the very, very small BS world there are some ârulesâ and behaviors that may be different than elsewhere.
As for WLs, boarding schools definitely donât condone students staying on WLs after college commitments in hopes of better offers. Say âyesâ to one of your acceptances by the deadline and start buying the tee-shirts. WLs ARE meant for BS students who are shut out or who have other unique circumstances. What you are paying for at BS (partly) is the excellent GC that ensures your student will have at least one or more fine choices at any number of colleges that will provide a fine education â and there are hundreds of them which is why it is very rare to see a BS student shut out and thus need to remain on a WL.
Above is something counter intuitive. As long as it works out to be beneficial to all BS students, I have no issue of following weird customs. However, I would wonder, does it?
It does sound important enough to inform prospective BS parents about it to avoid later grievances. Some may decide against BS route all together.
I think it is clear from the discussion here that people will do what they perceive to be in their own best interest (of course) so, without written rules, the consensus seems to be that this discussion is moot. That does answer the question PhotoMom posed.
@ChoatieMom: I donât believe at Choate, CC is implementing what you described as fast rules. But let me clarify on a couple of things. When you say your son committed to a college with other applications still pending, was he applying to the college heâs committed to as an ED application? If not, why did he have to make that commitment when he still wanted to know how his other applications would pan out? As for your comment of âanother rule is that the number of applications to some highly-selective colleges are effectively limited; the entire class is not âallowedâ to apply to every single one of the usual suspectsâ, Iâm not sure I understand. Do you mean if EVERY single student wants to apply to ALL of - letâs say Ivy+ colleges, and it wouldnât be allowed? Well, if thatâs what you mean what are the odds of that happening anyway? Even in Choate, a good 50% of students should know they have no chance to get in the top of the top colleges. Wouldnât they have that common sense? If you are saying ANYONE would not be allowed to all top colleges, Iâd question there is such a rule or policy actually in place in Choate.
Letâs just say what you described here is accurate for Choate, then for the record, it is NOT across all boarding schools. Are students encouraged to apply to all Ivyâs? No, because letâs face it they are all very different colleges and itâs not reasonable and frankly may not do anyone good to apply to all of them. However, if one insists to apply to all of them? Knock yourself out! Would GC be not supporting or sabotaging your applications then? Not a chance. They would do business as usual although you cannot expect GC to connive with you and hide the fact that you are indeed applying to all those colleges for whatever reason, if they are asked by college AOâs, which is not typical. Can they stay on WL after putting down a deposit? Generally there should be a good reason and itâs only fair. If the reason is that a strong student only got in their âsafetyâ, that should be a good enough reason. Will students be asked to withdraw all pending applications when they have received a favorable decision in the early round? Depends. If itâs binding ED, sure. If itâs an non-binding EA, it depends on whether itâs your âsafetyâ or high reach. If itâs âsafetyâ, no. If itâs a high reach, you are STRONGLY encouraged to withdraw other pending applications (and some schools do indeed have a rule saying that if itâs a college with an admit rate below 10% then take it and get lost). which I find most students and families feel reasonable.
Hope this clarified.
Our experience mirrors what ChoatieMom describes regarding college applications from BS kids. BS college guidance folks have a strong hand in the process of guiding where students apply. It is unlike what we have observed/experienced in classic day school situations. It might be something folks would want to include in their weighing the decision to go the BS route.
As a non-BS parent, it seems like you are paying for access â school GCs having an âinâ at the Ivies. In exchange, the GCs keep a tight rein with rules about limiting applications and unwritten ones like this WL rule. Smarmy.
@intparent: My experience is that GCs in my kidsâ school are very effective and do have good relationships with colleges, which is why when they talk we listen. Now, do they have an agenda to protect the whole classâ interests? Yes. They do encourage students to be considerate about their peers and do not - for example, try to collect trophies just for their ego. But do they purposefully misguide or sabotage or otherwise disadvantage Some students so others in the class benefit? Not that I am aware of or heard of.