The waiting begins

<p>Reading about the help kids are getting from their schools for the college essays makes me want to cry. My D hasn't had an English class for a year and a half (never mind a college essay assignment) due to the British education system. Another hurdle for an expat! Yikes, how much harder can it get? Would an adcom ever read closely enough to realize how long ago the last English class was?</p>

<p>Usmom - I didn't mean for this to turn into a thread on essay writing, but this is the easiest thing in the world for her to practice, if she will do it. Get a copy of The Elements of Style, an old classic book on writing, also "On Writing the College Appl Essay" by Henry Bauld (I listed his name wrong earlier. You should be able to track those down on Amazon, probably Elements on a bookstore - also "Eats , Shoots and LEaves", just for the fun of it. She practices by writing in a journal, just diaries at first then recounting memories (telling stories), writing her opinion about something, then beginning to write short paragraphs about typical essay prompts - if she will go through this exercise for just a few weeks before trying to write her essay, she will be way ahead AND read those 2 books. In advanced comp in college we did artificial editing exercises too - like replacing all the weak verbs in this paragraph with strong verbs.</p>

<p>Finally, all the help our school really gave was the GC and Eng teacher reading the essay - they used to do a week long essay writing workshop the summer before senior year, but that was reduced to 1 day, and she was in band camp that day. It's the disciplined writing practice that hasn't been done, as well as emphasizing the editing skills you read about in Bauld and Elements. Good luck</p>

<p>If it makes ya feel any better, our school does not address college essays either. I had no idea that some schools assign these right in school until I read this forum. However, in a general sense, our school is heavy on writing (at least in the more challenging classes) and so my kids have written alot. But that aside, no matter how many essays they have ever written for school assignments, they are NOTHING like the kind that are required for college application essays. This is one of the hardest things for kids to do. The essays for school are more analytical essays, often with a thesis and supporting arguments. Sometimes they are persuasive and so forth. The college essay is a personal narrative, something they never write at school, and in fact, involves a degree of creativity as well. It is very hard to get used to and I think it definitely helps to read books like the one by Harry Bauld on this topic (very quick read) and it really helps to read samples of good college essays to get a feeling for that TYPE of writing that is required. It is a certain style. I recall one of the first books I bought to learn about the college process, called Getting In by Katherine Cohen, reading a chapter on the college essay, in which she provides some sample essays and critiques them and there may be a couple where revisions are shown. I am not necessarily advocating that book but to say if you can find any books with good college essay samples (on top of the Harry Bauld book), it might help. </p>

<p>Like you, I discuss with my kids their essay plans for each essay they are writing (not sure I get how at school these other kids are writing "THE" college essay, as my kids have had to write many essays for various prompts....second child is on her third application and about seventh essay already), then they write it on their own, and then I read it and give feedback, like a teacher might do. They may ask for suggestions of how to cut it down, for instance. Once they produce a final draft, I have asked them to have a second reader, often an English teacher they meet over lunch at school. By the time that person sees it, it really is a final draft and the feedback is not as huge a deal but may be something caught to be questioned when someone else reads it. So, just know that alot of us are in the same boat where school is NOT working on the college essays and many have no clue where to begin with this.</p>

<p>Susan</p>

<p>Same at our school--they teach writing, but not the art of the personal essay. I did tutorials at home, on the general principles. I grammarchecked, but that's a strong point for them, so wasn't much necessary. English teachers had very little input.</p>

<p>My S's senior English teacher announced that he would look at college essays. My S sent him 3 drafts several weeks ago. Not yet returned. Today, my S sent in his EA application. He'd stopped waiting for feedback from the teacher.</p>

<p>My daughters are the fiercely independent type and feel very strongly that their writing should reflect their voices, not mine. I admire and respect that trait in them. </p>

<p>I also feel that their writing is actually much better than my own, perhaps because homeschooling has given them the time to read so voraciously and widely over the years and to write prolifically whenever the spirit moved them. We pursue a style of homeschooling known as "unschooling," which is pretty low on structure and high on serendipity, so I've never "taught" them English in a conventional way. I never assigned things to write and nor did I ever "grade" or correct their writing as they were growing up. </p>

<p>I just took them to the library a lot, helped them find local book discussion and creative writing groups in the community, etc. And we enjoyed reading poetry and plays aloud together at home as a family, just for the pure fun of it. And somehow they just developed the habit of writing naturally, without being assigned to do it. Writing was a joy, not a chore. Most of their writing was very private (journal writing or letters to friends) and I didn't get to see it. Occasionally they would write things to share with their creative writing groups--sometimes they would share those pieces with me (especially if the group chose to publish an anthology or do a community reading), but mostly I didn't get to see much of their writing. I could tell they were scribbling away happily, and the few things I did get to read (the tip of the iceberg) were good enough that I decided to leave well enough alone and not interfere.</p>

<p>They did get constructive feedback from their creative writing groups, but it was always supportive--there were never grades involved and they never felt that people were "judging" their writing. Writing wasn't a chore any more than talking was. It was just a natural way to share their feelings, opinions, and discoveries with others. (Or, in the case of their journal-writing, it was a way to think through their ideas reflectively and grow in self-understanding.)</p>

<p>They shared their writing so infrequently with me that I never wanted to discourage that occasional sharing by criticizing what I did get to see.</p>

<p>So last year, when the older one was applying to colleges, she did not solicit my advice or input during the essay writing process, and I refrained from providing it unsolicited. </p>

<p>It was a bit hard to watch her as the weeks and months passed last fall. She would occasionally report on her progress, and I could tell from the expression on her face that she was finding it a lonely and hard struggle, especially as deadlines approached. </p>

<p>She was used to writing for familiar audiences (e.g., her creative writing groups, her friends in her letters, herself in her journal.) Suddenly, she was being asked to write about soul-baring topics for audiences of faceless strangers on admissions committees. Suddenly writing wasn't joyful and spontaneous--it was an obligation, an introspective and lonely rite of passage.</p>

<p>I did suggest that she allow someone to proofread the essays at the very end, before sending the applications off, noting that it is awfully easy for an author to have blindspots about typos and such. She accepted that suggestion and allowed both myself and her eagle-eyed younger sister to proofread the final versions.</p>

<p>Being a (biased) mom, I was moved to tears by what I perceived as the beauty of her essays when she finally "unveiled" them shortly before they were due. Her voice and spirit came through so clearly that my eyes clouded up with tears. I was so moved that I couldn't find a thing I thought needed changing. (This was mostly a good thing, since it was so close to the deadline and there really wouldn't have been time for substantive changes in any event.)</p>

<p>Fortunately her sharp-eyed younger sister wasn't blinded by tears of emotion as I was--she gleefully caught a few typos. Big sister was most grateful, the typos got fixed, and the essays went out in the mail. I still remember the big sigh of relief.</p>

<p>And then, the waiting began....I sympathize with the children and parents currently in that phase now, even as I know that my younger daughter will be in that phase at some point down the road. (It's hard to know exactly when...unchoolers don't have standard timetables for these things, and some choose not to go to college at all, and pursue entirely different paths.)</p>

<p>But I still treasure the copies of the essays the older one left behind now that she is off at college. I miss her very much. She is happy and very much enjoying college life, but the words she wrote in her college essays still resonate in my head.</p>

<p>Painful as it was to watch my daughter struggle alone through the essay-writing stage a year ago, the end result is a wonderful legacy left behind for this homeschool mom who never got to see very much of her daughter's writing.</p>

<p>Sooner or later, I imagine the colleges will run her essays through paper-shredders, but I'll treasure our archived copies here. </p>

<p>POST SCRIPT: In sharing our family's experiences, I don't mean to imply any criticism whatsoever of families who have chosen other paths. I have seen children thrive with parents and teachers who have very different approaches and philosophies from our own. What worked for us may or may not work for others...and vice versa.</p>

<p>I enjoyed your story about how it went with your daughter. My youngest who is currently an applicant writes better than I do I think. So, it is not like she needs my help in what to write or how to say it. I think my reading her draft over and giving feedback is more about the writing process itself. It is having someone else view your work and letting you know what they took from it, what was missing and stuff like that. It is not so much on how to write it but just feedback. </p>

<p>I must say that I was moved to tears in reading several of my kids' essays too and in a way, it is a wonderful thing to hold onto. One of the latest essays that had me crying was a recent one written for an app where my daughter wrote about her sister leaving for college and the affects on their relationship and I had no idea she was feeling what she wrote in that essay. Just this AM, I was on a call with the GC who has known both my girls since seventh grade and he was talking of both of them, contrasts and what not, and something in our conversation evoked me to recall a few lines of this recent essay as this passage hit on what he was saying about them and I read him the few lines off the essay (she has not shown him her essays) and I was crying on the phone just reading those lines! Oy! </p>

<p>Don't mind me, as I am very sentimental. I was walking to a post office in a city yesterday to mail off younger D's college application and got a call on my cell from my college freshman who said, "Mom I just had to call you to tell you how happy I am at the moment" and relayed some news to me from college and I had trouble not crying over the phone at her happiness and joy over her accomplishments. My kids likely would think I was nuts but it really tugs the heart sometimes. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

<p>Wow you moms are very emotional. Dang.</p>

<p>Don't worry about being sentimental. We kids appreciate it in the long run. All mothers are kinda nuts. :)</p>

<p>When I learned to drive, I drove my husband and my uncle insane. So with my son we just got him to a driving school to teach! </p>

<p>I can relate, though. My son drives much too fast.</p>

<p>ps: why do the some threads have gold circles with red stars, some only have gold circles, and others have silver circles?</p>

<p>Some great advice hre, especially from Soozievt and Cangel. It's been realy hard for me, too, to stop myself from giving too much advice on essays, especially since my son is a math and science guy--his eyes are on unis with cognitive science programs--and he JUST discovered this year, his senior year, that he can write well, too. Chicago is one of his reach schools, and you know how important essays are to their admissions process, so I have had to critique his long essay for that app, especially. It was very creaive but he hasn't allowed himself enough experience as a writer yet to understand organizing creativity for an audience! </p>

<p>Anyway, I sympathize with those who say their schools offer nothing for the kids who need help with app essays. It's been very helpful to have an AP English instructur at the school who makes college essays part of the class assignment schedule. At least now it's not just me pushing for thoughtful revision. The support from outside makes me sound more reasonable.</p>

<p>The most important point point I wanted to make, though, was that what Cangel said was right on: Kids like these can move forward unbelievably quickly with their writing skills if they do the kind of thing she (he?) suggests. Mine did with different but equivalent work. Sharp is sharp, and it usually shows in all areas, once THEY are ready to make the move. (Would that it had happened a year or two earlier!)</p>