These Repeated Blows

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>to my life...
i have screwed up a lot of my junior year. i have multiple rants. first one goes to my parents:
My parents don’t know or understand **** about me. All they think i am is some lazy ass who sleeps 24/7. They call me names and such but i don’t give a <strong><em>. It doesn’t hurt me, it just builds up more rage. They don’t freaking understand that i am depressed. I have tried bringing this up to them multiple times and they don’t give one *</em></strong> about it. All they care about is respect. They treat me as if i am my little 6 year old brother. If i talk back to them they scream at me. Then i scream back at them and they start taunting me about things which hurts. I realize i am not a great student. I realize i won’t be the perfect child they wanted me to be but they should seriously stop pushing their dreams, their goals on me when they can’t even see the obvious. I have decided that my parents can’t support me to the extent i would like them to. After my last year of high school I am leaving this *** hole for good.
I gave them plenty chances. For the past 3 years of high school all i have been doing is signaling them that i need help. They don’t give a **** claiming that i am some weak ******* who doesn’t do <strong><em>. YES I AM WEAK. YES I DON’T do *</em></strong> but the *** man?
They are constantly killing my dreams, my hopes and sources of inspirations. Perhaps the biggest thing they ever done to me was moving to a new house 3 years ago. My parents should have realized that i am not a very social person and it is hard for me to make friends. Even when i tell them that i don’t want to move, they still do. They tell me “grow up”, “look at your little sister, she is only 5 and is having a great time going to a new school”. Well DO I GIVE A *<strong><em>? no. I would grow up, *</em></strong>*es, but i can’t. I am not a social guy. My sister who 3 years ago was 5 just started 1st grade. It wasn’t even going to be a big deal for her lmfao. When kids are young, they have a very simple and easy transition to a new school.
However when your like me going to a new high school without knowing a single soul, you practically want to shoot yourself.
I am not a very social person and i always hate the experience of moving. In my 16 years of life i have moved about 6 times already and have never made a trust-able friend. It’s sad but it’s reality. I sign up for various forums, blogs and games just to make friends. To vent in a way. Depressing i know, but it was my only means of survival.
I thought about running away so many times when I was young and immature. Now that i look back at it, i laugh and chuckle.
After writing this whole rant, I have decided. I am going to give them one last chance at supporting me. I need help.
If this fails…
I will just have to tank out the summer and all of senior year and go to a college which i could pay for via loans far away from home. Once I am 18, i would go and attend some type of therapy to organize myself.</p>

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<p>the next few go to myself:
i def. screwed up my highschool life by being anti social. I tried to avoid making friends cause i was never so social. I did go to clubs, well the ones i was really interested in (FBLA, EAC[earth action comm.], and ICU[ a culture club]). my gpa is low cause i avoided help from teachers and i was never really determined where i wanted to go in life. I have registered for subject tests 7 times. Only went in 4 times. Of those i only have a 580 and a 640 (chem/bio) and 2 cancels. i am a horrible student. i crammed all the bio and chem material in less than a week. as for school, i was never too focused on anything. i always treated school as prison, looking forward for the last bell. i would go home and indulge in things(food/anime/tv/starcraft/sleep). i never, ever did a solid day's worth of hw. i have failed several quarters of classes(one quarter english, one midterm-math, and now one quarter comp sci.). </p>

<p>to tell you the truth, i am not a bad or stupid guy. I am in honors/ap classes. I was able to take 4 ap's this year(chem/psych and macro/micro[selfstudy]) and precalc hnrs. I took the pre-ap course to comp sci and cut the last 25ish days(i gave up on it. it didn't interest me at all). teacher is failing me now unless i make up all the work by 2mrw[impossible unless people send me all the work]). otherwise i had straight B+s throughout.
I owe work in a lot of my classes. these include english(essay corrections), human relations(one essay), ap chem(final paper), ap psych(one essay), pre- ap spanish(3 assignments, 2 essays and also have to talk to my teacher to retake 2 tests) and the 3 major comp. sci labs. I bombed math this last quarter and most probably got a D or a F. i am going to talk to my teacher 2mrw about test corrections cause he knows i had the potential(hit top 25% percent of the class on the final[ with a B, lol]). </p>

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<p>ughhh. i decided last night that i was going to back on track. Problem is, is that i can't. there is simply to much work. Any effort to tell my parents will end in failure. I am going to try and finish all other work besides computer science right now. i think i will just PM one of the students in my comp sci class for the major ass.
as a result from all these screw ups i have nothing to impress colleges with. My SAT score is an 1860. my subject tests are garbage(at my standard), have no ECs besides 3 years of FBLA, 2 years of ICU, 1 year of EAC. uw gpa is a 3.2.
since i live in ny, i was thinking of just retaking my regents in august to bring up my gpa a little. but problem is, is that some of the regents i planned on retaking are not being given this august anymore and 2 of which i was planning to give are clashing in the same time slot >.>.
i researched things i could do and i found this thing called a 'pg year'. there is no way i am doing that lol.</p>

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<p>i have set myself 3 sets of goals now.
1st set: (short term)-
finish all work owed by 2mrw morning.
discuss with my guidance coun. things i can do to improve my gpa
also discuss what i can do to somehow get into Ap physics c.
work out the bugs in my schedule in order to take ap spanish/compsci.
take the placement testing to get into AP human geo.
get work forms
ask for an unofficial transcript( i wish to go to summer school to improve my gpa-->don't know which 2 classes i should take so ima see my 2 weakest classes on my transcript).
ask my coun. about dual enrollement opp. and how i can take ap bio out of school.
2nd set: (summer-ish)-
complete 400 hrs of community service via volunteering at hospitals.
50 hrs of doctor shadowing
try and force my dad to get me an internship at my home country to help with a hospital over there.
study for ACTs(goal is a 35(took a practice and hit 33/34))
study for Subject Tests( aiming for 800s in math2/chem/bio).
finish the final draft of my novel(i gave up on this after my parents killed my inspiration)(ima have to find a place to have it published possibly)
buy a drawing tablet and become a pro at animating(post work on various forums to gain supporters and hopefully have it sponsored) :P
drivers ed
3rd set: (not academic)-
run 3-4 miles a day.
weight lifting.
sell all my gaming accounts for money(i can easily make 2k dollars).
find a job(need one for the summer).
00000000000000000000000000
after all this i will probably have a decent transcript (most prob with a 3.4ish gpa)</p>

<p>--
if all of this does indeed work out, i will hopefully be able to accomplish my dream of going to UCSD for physics :P</p>

2

<p>o cmon. no moral support(rofl). 36 view >.></p>

3

<p>Keep holding on for just one more year. College will be AWESOME, trust me.</p>

4

<p>trying. now that i see all these scores on CC, it sorta ‘hurts’ cause i feel like i could have def. done as well as other people >.></p>

5

<p>Don’t worry, I messed up my junior year as well.</p>

<p>Your attitude is hurting you, and hindering your college chances.</p>

<p>Set yourself goals, and work for them. Let your determination drive you, instead of letting depressing things in life bring you down.</p>

<p>Lastly, be positive, and put 100% effort in everything you do.</p>

6

<p>yeah man def. </p>

<p>i pm’d multiple people asking for the comp labs. i have started the rough drafts for 2 of my essays and will begin the typing in hopefully 30 minutes?
i wish i could just breeze through all this and fly into senior year~</p>

7

<p>You seem to have a serious mental illness. Your list of goals is totally unrealistic given your current work ethic, and I noted that none of your goals involve human interaction.</p>

<p>The problem is that college exacerbates mental illness. When teenagers go to live on their own, their depression and anxiety only worsen. </p>

<p>I am sorry that the people in your life, especially your parents, have not shown you the basic kindness/compassion that a young person needs. However, I think you should worry less about getting into UCSD and more about becoming a functional and healthy person.</p>

<p>~WWjr.</p>

8

<p>Just channel every ounce of effort you’ve got in you into your senior year, (at least for the first semester :)) Because you know what? All that hard work will definitely pay off once you get those acceptance letters in the mail! You know what that means? FREEDOM & OPPORTUNITY! College will be a new experience and the summer break before college will give you time to relax. You’ll be immersed into a new environment, make new friends, meet new people, and everyone will be in the same boat because no one would know each other. It’s a fresh start. You’ll be away from your parents, get another opportunity to be social AND get back on track in terms of academics. All you have to do is tough it out for the last year and then get the hell out of there :slight_smile: Lol</p>

9

<p>Sparknotes version please?</p>

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<p>@woodrowwilsonjr: lmao. ofcourse human interaction will occur. i have been invited to various sweet16 parties for this summer and have gotten multiple texts from friends i haven’t seen the past 3-4 years to hang with(which will make this summer even more worth it).
my goals maybe unrealistic but hey it doesn’t hurt working towards them.</p>

11

<p>You sound weak. Time to see a therapist.</p>

12

<p>As I was reading thru ur rant to ur parents, i was thinking, man, he should run. And yayy you have that in ur goals :smiley: </p>

<p>Don’t wait. Run as soon as you finish all ur short term work. You’ll feel happy as a cheddar daisy <33</p>

13

<p>I second a ‘sparknotes’ version. tl;dr</p>

<p>My only advice is to hang on. The way I see it, this will help you. You’ll learn from your parents’ mistakes and never make the same one(s) on others.</p>

14

<p>I remember you from the AP Chem thread and you did really well so hang in there</p>

15

<p>awesome rant :D.</p>

<p>I was thinking that you probably had a good deal of academic potential even before you said you did quite well on the ACT practice tests. Sorry about your situation at home. That is truly sad. suffering is like the saddest thing. The fact that you could enumerate such a great list of goals is promising though - it seems you’ve thought a lot about your various options and what you can potentially do. It also shows that you have hope, which is very good. I think you just need sufficient support (maybe there is a particularly caring teacher that could help you when you need it). </p>

<p>You are struggling, but despite all of your struggles you are managing very admirably I think, as well as anyone could expect. You are thinking clearly and retaining some optimism. It might be rather quixotic to aim for UCSD, but you probably know that. But you probably also know that it’s not entirely impossible. Of course, the college you go to probably doesn’t matter so much, so long as it is away from home and somewhat decent. </p>

<p>just keep javalava’s cheddar daises in front of your nose, let them guide you, and I think everything will turn out ok.</p>

16

<p>Thanks a lot guys. I was able to finish all my work but the worst part is that now i have a fever >.>
i am going to email all the work and hopefully the teachers will still check their emails.</p>

<p>I needed to get my work papers and transcript also …
going to have go in monday.</p>

17

<p>lol, That sorta ****es me off when you have all that going on and somewhere stick in uw gpa 3.2. I’m a social person who has parents who understand me and I work incredibly hard for my 3.0. I could never set such high goals to finish all that work. You are NATURALLY GIFTED, don’t let ANYONE bring you down.</p>

18

<p>My friend was straight A’s until Junior year</p>

<p>He made 2 D’S and 2 B’S</p>

<p>Worked his @$$ off senior year, brought his ACT score from a 27 to a 32.</p>

<p>He never dwelled on the past, even if he wasted so much time not doing work or doing something else, he never dwelled on that. He learned and moved forward.</p>

<p>Now he’s a freshman at Stanford.</p>

<p>Never give up.</p>

19

<p>Read some self-help books</p>

20

<p>@Woeishe, </p>

<p>Self-Help book?
You can’t help yourself because yourself sucks.
If you’re self helping yourself it means you are being helped by a complete @$$hole.</p>