<p>I had to add this in from my Ap Euro teacher:</p>
<p>"Kings, Queens and Guillotines"-- Referring to the sheet about why students should take AP Euro (he's promoting the class to next year's juniors and seniors). Everyone gave him that look like "I can't believe you actually put that on your promotion sheet!"</p>
<p>Me during class: "Goddamnit, I can't find my calculator."
New Orleans student: "Goddamnit, my city was destroyed."
Me: "Nice. Way to make me feel like crap, Tosh."</p>
<p>another New Orleans student: "You're an idiot."
other student: "Yeah, well, at least my childhood memories weren't destroyed!"</p>
<p>Senior complaining about construction on campus: "Jesus, our school looks so ugly this year - damn construction."
New Orleans student: "Jesus, our school looks so ugly this year - damn FLOODWATER."</p>
<p>::sigh:: It was sad to see them all go back home after exams.</p>
<p>anatomy and physiology, we didn't have to remember the names of the nerves for AP bio.</p>
<p>This year I was talking to the teacher though, and he finally told me what his was when he was in med school, but I can't remember exactly how it went. I know it started "ohh ohh ohh" and went on to talk about vagina and sex. I'll see if I can get him to tell me again.</p>
<p>Haha ok so today was the first day of the new semester and I can already tell my Health teacher will have me rolling on the floor laughing a lot..</p>
<p>So we had this sheet with random 'health myths' and we had to put true or false, and we get to this one-
"Going on a low-carb diet has been proven to help you lose weight and keep it off for good"</p>
<p>Random kid- "True!"
teahcer- "Nope, actually it's false"
kid- "Well actually, my mom would say it's true, because she went on one and it was successful, so she knows"
teacher- "Actually... your mom is stupid."</p>
<p>"This morning when I came in the school smelled a lot like natural gas because I guess the heating system wasn't working properly. I was actually pretty tempted to light and match... Boom! No more career!"</p>
<p>my physics teacher:</p>
<p>"I have great news!!! You all failed your test and I'm not curving it, but I just saved 15% on my insurance by switching to Geico."</p>
<p>the meanest part about it was that the class average on the test was a 57% and he didn't curve it...</p>
<p>Math:</p>
<p>"Half of you will accept this proof - the other half will remember it."
"When the color of the tiles under my feet change color, the test is over."</p>
<p><em>cell phone goes off in the middle of class</em>
Teacher: Jeez, switch your phone to vibrate and just enjoy the moment.</p>
<p>Gym:</p>
<p>Student1: What's that exercise called where you cross your legs and roll around on the floor? <em>demonstrates</em>
Stundet2: I think thats called a seizure</p>
<p>Bio:</p>
<p>Teacher at the door: Hi ho!
Bio teacher: don't call me that!</p>
<p>Physics:</p>
<p>Me: So when the spring constant is higher, the spring is stiffer?
<em>giggles</em>
Teacher: yeah
Student: So what does x stand for again?
Teacher: elongation</p>
<p>Student 1: Jane, they're talking smack about you ever there. :D <em>giggles</em>
Jane: Well, tell them to speak louder... I can't hear.</p>
<p>An Algebra 2 Class @ School: </p>
<p>Experienced Teacher: I bet you they don't even KNOW how to solve for X.
New Teacher: HA! I gave them work yesterday and nobody had questions!
ET: Well... give them a quiz and we'll see.
NT: Fine.
~~~~~~
Teacher: Alright, you guys are doing an algebra review sheet.
(Students work...)
Teacher: So... who knows the answer to #5? (2x + 5 = 12)
(3 kids raise their hands.)
Teacher: No... you guys are wrong... :(
Steve: Oh I know!!!! Is x equal to zero?! It's got to be zero!!!! :) :) :)
Teacher: ....</p>
<p>Biology Class - Mating Lab
Teacher: Okay, ladies, we need to push all of the desks aside to the wall because we need a lot of space for sex.
Students: WHAT?
Teacher: I mean, you know, some space for a dance floor. Don't tell the administration that I said that.</p>
<p>Religion Class.
Teacher: Okay, class, here's a picture of the Egyptian afterlife that I got off the Internet.
Student: Did you googlia it? (supposed to be google)
Teacher: Googlia? That sounds like a faraway land. "I COME FROM THE LAND OF GOOGLIA."</p>
<p>Biology - Lecture
Teacher: I suppose all of you who read The Crucible are aware of the importance of ergot in literature?
Students: Wat? :confused:
Teacher: Well, lysergic acid is derived from ergot. So, it's generally believed that the girls were really just going for one baaadd LSD trip.</p>
<p>^I heard that before...</p>
<p>AP Bio - best class EVER!</p>
<p>we're doing a evolution lab, where each student should have 4 slips of paper representing alleles/gametes:
Me: Wait, I only have 3
Classmate: I have 5, I'll give you one.
Me: (takes slip) Thanks!
Classmate: Now you're pregnant with my child.</p>
<p>Referring to hetero and homozygous alleles
Classmate: All the homos are coming out!</p>
<p>Referring to mating pairings, and one student didn't have a partner
Teacher: Name, what are you doing back there?
Student: Reproducing asexually.
Another Student: He's just back there budding.
Teacher: Name, do you need me to come back there and hook up with you? (BTW, our teacher is about 70, and she's the coolest person ever cause she's bitter but hilarious most of the time)</p>
<p>My AP LANGCOMP teacher (he's new, and we do nothing in that class)</p>
<p>First day of school:
Teacher: Aight guys, you gotta tell me when this period ends. 'Cuz I always used to cut this period.</p>
<p>Yesterday:
(Playing supermario on the computers with the teacher)</p>
<p>Kid who walks in: Excuse me, can I take a test in here?
Teacher: What??? NOO!!! Can't you see that we're trying to have a little fun here???</p>
<p>There's more, but I can't remember them all.</p>
<p>goyoungha-
I believe that theory (the girls had raw LSD and went nutes) was proven.</p>
<p>^how could it possibly be proven? I highly doubt they did any chemical analasys back then, so I can't imagine it could ever be proven to anything beyond a theory. I've heard it before as well, and it seem plausible, but I don't see how it's provable. </p>
<p>It's not "raw" LSD though, it would just be chemically similar to LSD. True LSD is incredibly hard to make, and does not occur in nature. The LSD created today is completely synthetic anyways, as it's too hard to grow the ergot from which it was originally derrived.</p>
<p>wait.. what's LSD?</p>
<p>LSD is a semi-synthetic drug (lysergic acid diethylamide).</p>
<p>Funny how my post was about the 4 slips of paper as gametes as well.</p>
<p>ha ha Cindy013 my old econ teacher said schedule as "sheddule" too</p>
<p>My Gov't teacher (when his wireless mouse won't work)....I need new batteries in my gun-thingie</p>
<p>Earlier that hour to the Russian exchange student....
teacher: I notice a backpack there by the wall---that's not a bomb is it?
student: just shakes her head, prob thinks he and all other Americans are nuts
teacher: ...because if it was, I was gonna suggest that you move away from it</p>
<p>ohhh we were dying :D</p>
<p>teacher: (reading list of minor political parties)...American Pacifist Party...what do you suppose they think of the war in Iraq?
student: I don't know...they might just get so angry they'll write a letter.</p>
<p>Teacher: "HOT SEX! Thought that would get your attention."</p>
<p>APUSH teacher last year
"So they wanted to protect their as (sex)t {assets}. You know whenever i say this someone who's sleeping wakes up and goes 'huh? we're talking about sex?'"</p>