Like @shortnuke, I am disappointed at the meager savings on insurance for an out-of-state student with no access to a car. I’m paying a lot for the maybe 5 weeks a year that she has access to my car.
But I’m pleasantly surprised at how much I’m saving on utilities. I knew she was a shower hog, but wow.
Things to keep in mind when looking at the meager savings for your student away at school. In addition to coverage during those 5 weeks she has access to your car she has 52 weeks coverage for cars she may rent or borrow and uninsured motorist coverage should she be hit while walking, riding a bike, on the bus, in an Uber, in a friends car, etc. It is not just about what she can do to your car but what she can do to others cars or have others do to her.
@ccprofandmomof2, Having two three sport athletes, I have a changing perspective on this topic. My son and daughter both are extremely good athletes who made the decision early on to continue playing all three sports which they love (soccer, basketball and lacrosse) rather than to drop one or more to play club. Both received significant, constant pressure from both high school and club coaches to drop one or more sports and specialize.
As college years approached my son decided playing DIII soccer was something he wanted to pursue. He knew from playing with his friends and pickup that he was pretty comparable to his club buddies. He went to ID camps his last couple years of high school and found he could definitely play at the same level of many of the elite club players (these camps are virtually 100% made of of club players, btw), but the system is totally built for recruitment of club players only. He had one coach tell him essentially,…look, your a great player and outstanding athlete, we like you a lot, but you HAVE TO drop lacrosse and play club next year. Another coach just flat out said, don’t send us any tape from high school - we only care about club. We don’t care what you do in high school.
(*****Aside…There is a lot of lip service that coaches claim to really value the multi-sport athlete, but what we have found it that it is just that - lip service. Its a pretty rigged system. There are pipelines from specific clubs and coaches, and when you add the influx of international players (who are outstanding and deserving of spots) you virtually eliminate any opportunity for a high school player to make a good DII team (granted, he was only looking at highly selective DII schools). But 100 qualified players will show up at these camps and MAYBE 4-5 will be offered spots.)
You might think that given the realization that he would not be able to play in college, he would have some regrets about not playing club, but he doesn’t. Not at all. He loved and valued his high school experience with three different teams, he appreciates that he got to “have a life” while in high school. He never felt any burnout. He has many, many club friends who have given up so much of the high school experience for club sports. So many of these kids were still quite disappointed when it came times for the offers to pour in. This is a very long-winded way of responding to @ccprofandmomof2 to say, even outside of of the finances of it, you can count my son as one example of someone who chose to pass on those “opportunities” and never regretted it.
We still know kids who are multi-sport athletes and get scholarships in one or more sports. There are still a few multi-sport athletes in college. Not as common as it was in the days of John Elway playing football and baseball at Stanford, but there are a few still out there. There is a woman at BC who played lacrosse and hockey, and she was the MVP of the national championship on lax - on the losing team! That is very rare. A good friend was named the best lacrosse player in the state, MVP of the state tournament two years in a row, and was also on the varsity golf team at a top prep high school. He did play on some summer travel teams but not the ‘tournament every weekend’ type of club team. He was not from a wealthy family and he made it work playing locally.
Many people (including us) use the travel teams/tournament teams to have family vacations. In Steamboat Springs Colorado, there is a baseball/softball tournament every single weekend during the summer. It’s a place where many people go on vacation. Combine the tournament with the family vacation. My daughter only traveled to a few tournaments one summer and we used that time to visit colleges in the area. She got a lot of recruiting interest by playing in those tournaments. Coaches from New England and Ohio weren’t going to see her play her high school games.
High school sports doesn’t eliminate the costs. First high school my child attended charged $1500 to be on a team. Second high school, a public high school in California, it was ‘only’ $850. Third school was $60 to play and an additional $200 or so for clothing, food, coach’s gift, etc.
There was a huge push at our high school to play “your sport” all year round by the coaches, while the AD touted multi sport athletes. My daughter ended up quitting volleyball after sophomore year because the coach flat out told her she’d be cut if she didn’t play all year round. My daughter was not willing to give up her other interests so walked away. The mentality is prevalent.
Music costs…yikes they do add up. Our kids both took private lessons on two different instruments. At one point DS had five different instruments, and DD had three. Plus a piano.
Both were in precollege Orchestra and both went to summer programs.
There were years when we spent $8000 each on instrument related things.
DD owns $20,000 worth of double reed instruments, and DS owns about the same amount in brass instruments, and other music related “stuff”.
DS is a professional musician now…
And very luckily, none of this is on our dime anymore!
Kids are like leeches they just keep sucking the blood out of you………………….oops, did I say that out loud?
The thing about those kids (and we know a few) who went on to become professional musicians or to play professional sports, is that they were jaw droppingly superior all along.
In middle school they were amazing. The music poured out of some unknown place deep down inside that no other kid could even come close to achieving. The athletes were head and shoulders above anyone else. Even compared to older kids. They had a gift. Lessons and private training helped them along, but they already had something undefinable.
Everyone else piles on extra private lessons and year round travel teams and that helps, but can’t make up for the thunderbolt gift that those other kids have.
You know it when you see it.
My kids are good enough to be excellent an D111 athlete, or to play in bands or to step into a jazz session with ease. One of mine added a music minor because he just kept taking performance jazz for fun. One of mine has continued to develop as a long distance runner as an adult (cut from high school soccer, joined XC and then track, became a key part of a team that won states), and has since continued to improve. He’s been among thr top finishers for his age in the Boston Marathon. He loves running, and is good, but not headed for the olympics. None of my three have that gift that gives you goosebumps when you see it or hear it.
And all the money on earth won’t get them there.
It’s not just sports and music. I’m looking forward to saving a lot on dance lessons, competitions, etc. Probably at least $6000 per year. Though D18 is doing ballet in college so some would consider that a negative ROI in terms of future career earnings potential.
But it probably did help her get her merit scholarship, even though theoretically that was based on purely academic criteria, because it seems they wanted to put together a cohort with a diverse range of backgrounds and interests and so probably didn’t want to pick all engineering, CS and pre-med majors.
Mine was not one of those ‘you know talent when you see it’ athletes in high school. She was good, but she was also 5’2" tall and sometimes size does matter. Still, she liked playing, and she got more than $60k to do it at college.
It worked out.
One of the things that helped us was the U offered a monthly payment plan instead of just one large payment each semester. It was much more manageable to pay 10 large bills than two enormous bills.
Having both kids out and away allowed me to ramp up my work and increase the wages I brought in to help pay the growing college bills (especially when 2 were in college at the same time).
Having the students get jobs as they were able was a huge help. It funded everything in excess of food, housing and tuition.
It really helped when kids started searching for jobs ASAP. D was able to get a job the 1st day she was on campus. S was so well-liked in his summer job that he had an open invitation to reapply every summer.
To my surprise, some employers are amazingly flexible with workers they like. Our S was able to get 1 month off for one summer job and 3 weeks off for another!
Have your kid hunt down any and every merit and FAid award they may be eligible for—they can all add up! It can be surprising some of the awards they qualify for—Eagle Scout merit award and miscellaneous other awards.
As the OP has pointed out, the money you no longer pay when they leave can be significant. I just paid my daughter’s bill for her first semester: my balance was $494, including room, board (the most expensive meal plan), tuition and about a jillion little fees. It was supposed to be about double that, but the athletic department posted another $500 to her account that we didn’t know about until I logged in today to pay. It cost us probably $5K/year for her to swim, if we count monthly club fees, meet fees, travel and kneeskins. I feel like I just got a raise.
You have no idea how much a poor instrument holds you back until you start playing a good one. I agree that you shouldn’t break the bank for an instrument but the playability of a quality instrument, particularly in strings, goes up exponentially. It’s a sad thing to watch a talented individual give up because they blame themselves for their sound quality when it’s a cheap violin. It’s why some people choose to continue renting because often you can sometimes rent a pricier instrument than you can afford to buy outright.
We spent a lot of money on theatre for kids who had no intention of working in theatre as adults. No regrets. They made a good chunk of money working as child actors (theatre) too which was saved for college and that helped offset our spending. It qualified them for camp aide positions they started at 14 and eagerly uses them through college any winter, spring or summer break the kids are available. That’s been huge. What was gained by that expenditure was priceless. Theatre was their social niche, the place they felt connection and an escape from school where they didn’t. It taught them to work with adults as equals… that their contribution was as valuable as anyone else’s. It taught them team work, accountability and public speaking. It taught them that sometimes you can do everything right and still not get what you want and how to move forward from that and thrive. It kept them playful as tweens and teens… opened them up to a broader pallete of culture. It was also fun… just plain old fun and everyone deserves some of that.
We pay for college monthly and it is offset a bit by the drop in activity costs. Our gas bill goes down with less commuting. Out food bill drops with more time in the evening to cook as well as cooking and buying smaller portions. Car insurance drops substantially since they don’t drive in school. Doesn’t equal out but it helps.
@turtletime agree with you, still doesn’t make it inexpensive :^)
The best thing about violin prices is they never go down in value and often appreciate, so it’s like buying a house, it’s almost a low interest savings account. I don’t know if the same can be said for oboes and bassoons though. There tend to be a ton more violinists then oboists in the world.
In looking back at raising children I have found that along the way there are multiple “raises” that soon are offset by “pay cuts”.
In the beginning the costs were mind boggling; diapers, formula, day care. Then once we moved to solid food, a raise. Then the diapers came off, another raise. Public school started and day care costs dropped, another raise. A couple of years later the club sports and music lessons started, pay cut. A few years later the club sports dropped off and then another year or so interest in music dropped so time for another raise (thank you high school sports and music). Then came the big pay cut, college.
I am looking at suffering through this pay cut for about 8 more years although there should be a one year temporary raise between the two, avoiding college at the same time now looks like good family planning. So should everything go according to plan in 8 years I should get a permanent raise, at least until retirement comes 5+ years later.
I will say this. My D started school two days ago and she said it felt great to walk out of school without having to go to swim practice. I am a little sad she isn’t swimming, but happy that she can do other things she couldn’t do in the past. She has some time to be a kid. Plus she is still working doing some swim lessons and lifeguarding. And she doesn’t have an excuse not to be working on those college apps.