@colorado_mom try explaining that to my extrovert mom who insists that “sleeping next to someone” or “having to see them twice the day” is the main ingredient for the perfect friendship. I know that unrealistic but my mom blames it on me for being too picky. Like most people don’t want to settle for a partner, I don’t want to settle for any superficial friendships or people I can’t be myself around. Life is too short.
As suggested follow your therapist help in this. My son’s at a big school but is naturally introverted. He didn’t get along greatly with his roommate and I am sure his freshman year he was in his room most weekends on his ps4. Making friends is hard for him and had this problem in middle school and high school.
Then at Michigan he joined a meet up group.
It was a mix of local business and college students. This changed his life. From there he met 1 student from college. They hit it off and actually formed a tech club then won 2 grants for it and now they have 100 members and he is lecturing to them, bringing in speakers etc etc. Now he has people coming to him for advise etc. We keep telling him in college you can be anyone you want to be . You don’t have to be the same person you were in high school.
Find something that interests you and go to a meet up. These are like-minded people with the same interests. There are usually language ones also and might be a good one to start with.
Good luck. Remember… Don’t let anyone define you.
Ah., way to get your standard digs in at LACs, when you never attended one yourself.
I’ve tried asking to join along and letting people know that I’m lonely and looking for friends as my mom suggested that I do but people are just as nasty and end up rejecting me. It also makes me come off as pathetic and desperate. As I’ve stated several times, I never thought it would be this difficult to find like-minded, friendly people.
Are you interested in the working of theater? A lot of the theater tech crews are people that usually are outliers in high school.They sorta all come together in college. They are wonderful creative accepting people… Usually. It’s a lot of hard work but again usually a nice group of people. I have a lot of experience with high school and some college tech crews. Usually production crews. Your school would probably take you since I don’t think there are specific majors for this. They usually need all the help they can get.
Would you consider printing up this thread and bringing it to your next therapy session? It’s possible that it might present the issue to your therapist in a way you haven’t already discussed.
As an aside. My daughter went to Indonesia for her study abroad. Loved it so much after 4 months she asked if she could stay and travel to loas, Cambodia, thialand. We let her and then she decided to switch Lac schools. We knew this was coming. This was in her junior year. She took off spring and worked for 2 months and now through the creative language program from the state department (free intensive program) she is back in Indonesia for 2 more months. She transfers to her new Lac and got double her merit also. She should be a senior now but will be a junior again this year, so it can be done. She is also much happier.
It’s ridiculous to assume that LACs are any more cliquey than any other type of college. Cliques can exist anywhere. This is NOT about being at a LAC.
It does seem that your college is a bad fit for you. If you do go back, get a different job that’s more sociable.
I’ve read every post on this thread. You’ve had dozens of good suggestions to improve your situation, both now and when your return to school. I think you resent your “extrovert mom” who seems to not be listening to you about how much you dislike your college. You seem unwilling to consider anything anyone says here because you just keep coming back to how you were bullied and how people give you dirty looks, etc… You are here asking for advice, but seem unwilling to consder any of it. You seem very defensive. You have to let it go and be willing to help yourself.
No one here wants to see you hurt, or feeling miserable. We all understand that you feel people have treated you badly. Stop dwelling on it. Stop thinking about unfair and wrong it is. Start thinking about how you’re going to do something about it. The majority of your posts on this thread seem to be reiterating that people have wronged you. If your college is indeed full of nasty people, then I am frankly amazed that you would even consider returning. Make a decision to turn your life around, by whatever means needed.
@Lindagaf well it comes off that I’m rejecting these suggestions when really I have tried all of these with no luck. Do you understand how frustrating that is? That no matter how hard I try to be friendly and outgoing I haven’t found a single friend?
Luckily the main goal of going to college is just to get a degree. 2 more years in this place and I’ll be able to move on with my life. While the academics are great, the social scene not so much.
Good luck to you.
I think that what many are missing here is that OP seems to be looking for a soft place to vent, not necessarily suggestions. I know many people have a need to “make it better” but some times that isn’t what people want. Just a cyber hug and some validation that life can suck is sometimes more than enough. There are sometimes that we simply can’t make better and OP is clearly trying and in therapy.
OP - My own husband is notoriously bad at this. He always wants to make suggestions and in many ways it feels like it negates my feelings. After being married 25 years I know just flat out tell him, “I don’t need you to make it better, I need you to just give me a hug”. You may try that with your own mom or when posting here ; ). “I don’t want suggestions, I’m just venting”.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
I wish the OP all the best, and while I understand the need to vent which is perfectly fine here, after three threads on virtually the same topic, I don’t see that there is anything more to add. When all the OP’s responses are a variation of “Yeah, but…” the thread just turns into a circular argument. Closing.