Things that made you smile :)

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>Let's post some fun anecdotes! Or, you know, jokes, interesting tidbits that brightened your day, etc.</p>

<p>I'll start off with this great joke I read- </p>

<p>A city boy, Raju, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for Rs 100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.</p>

<p>The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died last night."</p>

<p>Raju replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."</p>

<p>The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."</p>

<p>Raju said: "OK then, just unload the donkey.."</p>

<p>The farmer asked: "What ya gonna do with him?"</p>

<p>Raju: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)</p>

<p>Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"</p>

<p>Raju: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."</p>

<p>A month later the farmer met up with Raju and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" Raju: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two rupees a piece and made a profit of Rs. 898.00."</p>

<p>Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"</p>

<p>Raju: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two rupees.</p>

2

<p>I was going to say people falling…but this is about jokes so…</p>

3

<p>Well, I<code>ve got something funny. In my AP class, my teacher is…well, for bell work every day, we have to agree or disagree with the statement she write up on the board…so yesterday, she wrote: “I am the center of your universe”. Anyhow, that</code>s not the funny part, that just describes how she is. </p>

<p>So it takes a lot to get a compliment from her. So we have this kid in class, and he<code>s smart, but honestly, doesn</code>t put in as much effort as the rest of us. So he said he finally got a girlfriend, and said this out loud for the benefit of our teacher, because she had the girl in her class last year. And our teacher said, “Nope, you can<code>t date her, you</code>re not on the list”. </p>

<p>The list is apparently a list she made up of all the dateable guys in school (According to smartness, being a gentleman, etc). So now, all the guys are trying to find out if they<code>re on “the List”. THE LIST. That</code>s the big thing in class. Apparently over half the guys in class are on “The List”, and we only have 9 guys in class.</p>

<p>So, maybe I made you laugh, maybe I didn<code>t, but it</code>s funnier when it actually happened, and if you were there. But that`s what made me (and the whole class) laugh the other day.</p>

4

<p>^ Lol! “The List.” Has she ever shown it to anyone? Does anyone know who’s on the List?</p>

<p>@Niquii- No, I laugh when people fall. :smiley: I’m a terrible person</p>

5

<p>Nope. It<code>s like a mental list, I think. All the guys are going crazy trying to figure out who</code>s on it. They don<code>t want any of us girls telling their girlfriends about “the List” because their afraid they</code>d go ask our teacher.</p>

<p>I have a feeling I<code>ll be telling a lot of AP jokes…we</code>re all super-smart but super funny. The same kid I was talking about also has this drink called “NeuroSun” he brings to class every day, and our teacher is convinced it<code>s some type of drug or something (Isn</code>t the name weird?) and that`s the big running joke in our class now.

Yeahhhh we`re an interesting set of kids.</p>

6

<p>That’s awesome! Looking forward to hearing AP jokes. </p>

<p>In my math class, my teacher is just hilarious. He used to be a college prof, with a Ph.D in math…God knows why he gave that up to teach us. But he’s so funny! Every time someone asks a stupid question, he shakes his head, raises one eyebrow, and says, “You smoking somesing?” or “You been drinking?” in his thick Korean accent.</p>

<p>Or when someone is distracted, he shouts, “Stop thinking about your boyfriend! He is gone! He will come back when you do math problem!” He also throws lollipops at us to wake us up, and makes fun of how dumb we are.</p>

7

<p>Hilarious! Wow,</p>

<p>Some kids in my youth group are in AP English and say that the class is really pointless, because all they do is write a 100 word journal each day, and then they do homework for the other classes. Apparently, the desks are all pushed to the sides (both left and right) and the guy sits at the end and stars straight ahead and never looks anyone in the eye. Like even when someone asks him a question, he`ll just look above your head as he answers.</p>

8

<p>My sophomore year chemistry teacher. He used to go on comedic tirades, ranging from his hate for Conservatism to the stupidity of Imperial units. He also claimed to know how to make meth, so I constantly entertained the idea of a meth-manufacturing relationship between us, </p>

9

<p>^^ What a creepy dude!</p>

<p>^ I wish I had your teacher :)</p>

<p>My AP friend cracks me up. She is so driven.</p>

<ul>
<li>She complains about needing food, because she hates having to eat when she could be studying</li>
<li>She wakes up at 5 AM to study, and is excited when she can function coherently on 4 hours of sleep</li>
<li>She turns things in (like applications for NHS) the DAY after it comes out, and is so secretive about it - she always tells me, “Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone. You don’t want more competition!”</li>
<li>She gets mad at teachers for wasting her time, time that she could’ve used to STUDY!</li>
</ul>

<p>I love my friend.</p>

10

<p>A little while ago, I took my little sister (who’s 6) to the mall. After we got done eating at the food court I had realized I spilled some on me. It didn’t come off with napkins so we went to the bathroom. My little sister, looks up at me in the crowded restroom and says, “So why’d you spill that on yourself? Is it because you’re getting older? You’re almost 18, that’s kind of old you know.”</p>

11

<p>Oh! I have another sister story. So, this telemarketer called the house and my dad called them the alternative word for a female dog under his breath not realizing my sister was listening. Fast forward a couple of days and another telemarketer calls and my sister answers. My mom asked who it was and she said, “oh no one, just a stupid female dog (she said the other word for it though)” My mom told her that wasn’t a good word and she shouldn’t use it. She said, “Oh, sorry. Then it’s just a female dog.” (still using the other word we can’t say on here)</p>

12

<p>Oh, I<code>ve got another joke! Actually, I have a million…but I</code>ll save them for other days besides today.</p>

<p>So last year in 9th grade, we had these things called “academies” where we have 3 classes (Science, English, and History) with the same kids…it<code>s apparently supposed to help freshman adjust to high school. And there were 3 classes per academy. Ex: While my class was in English, another was with our science teacher, and another with our history teacher. Then we</code>d switch. (I<code>m telling this just so you all know what I</code>m talking about when I tell future jokes about 9th grade because this joke doesn`t really have anything to do with that.)

So, if youre still following what Im saying (All my jokes have background stories), here`s the joke: We had an...interesting class....very loud, but we were probably the funniest class ever. </p>

<p>One day in history, we had to fill out a worksheet and put either India, China, Byzantine Empire or Rome for the things listed. Ex: What had a republic? Answer: Rome.</p>

<p>So this kid who sat in front of me, who`s smart, but always asked for the answer on class work from me, asked me what #3 was. #3 was crossed out and our teacher wrote “omit” over it. </p>

<p>Kid: What did you put for “omit”?
Me: Struggling to not laugh, “Um…“omit” means don<code>t do it.”
Kid: “Ohhh, I knew that.”
Girl sitting next to us: “That</code>s funny, I just learned what “omit” meant today.”</p>

<p>So, if you<code>re reading this, thank you, because I know that was an incredibly long post, and probably wasn</code>t even funny. But yeah, all my stories have background stories…but now you know about AP and 9th grade, which is very the funny things happen/happened, so not too many long posts now.</p>

13

<p>I have stories about stupid people at my school that are pretty funny. In anatomy the other day, we were learning about identical twins and how they are formed. And after the teacher described the egg splitting, she asked if anyone knew what happens next. Some kid said(confidently too), “It becomes 1 person with 2 heads!”</p>

14

<p>^Omg! That’s so funny!</p>

<p>^^ Lol, it’s ok! Lots of things happen to me that I think are funny, but other people probably don’t. For example, last year, a girl in my Advanced Chemistry class asked me how to spell “odor.” The fact that she couldn’t spell a 4-letter word was hilarious to me, but I bit my tongue and kept a straight face. </p>

<p>I spelled it for her; she didn’t hear me right, so she wrote, “o-d-e-r.” She said, “thanks so much, I’m terrible at spelling!” Between giggles, I said, “wait, no, change the ‘e’.” She thought I said, 'change it to a ‘g’, and wrote “o-g-e-r.” (Again, the word was “odor.”)</p>

<p>I don’t know why that was funny now, but I think at the time I fell out of the chair laughing.</p>

<p>Edit: I just thought of the funniest story in AP Lang. I must tell you guys later :slight_smile: It’s epic.</p>

15

<p>Oh, and this is hilarious, if any of you are philosophy nerds:</p>

<p>[Monty</a> Python Philosophy Football - YouTube](<a href=“Monty Python Philosophy Football - YouTube”>Monty Python Philosophy Football - YouTube)</p>

16

<p>^That</p>

<p>10char</p>

17

<p>Catch, I watched that video only yesterday! That’s a nice coincidence.</p>

18

<p>Last year my Honors Chem teacher tried to be very professional like ONLY talking about Chem during class and basically ignoring other questions. And she’s very peppy too.so one day this kid in our class was like “Ms X, did you have any coffee this morning, you’re so awake!” and she’s like “nope.” So he asks if she had an energy drink and she says no again and finally he asks if she had any caffeine so she says “no, I don’t drink caffeine.” and this guy in our class says, “then you be runnin on the spirit of Jesus”</p>

19

<p>@Gram: Really? My academic bowl coach was telling us about it like a month ago, and I only just remembered to look it up.</p>

<p>@superstarlala: LOL!! I was expecting the punch line to be “crack cocaine” or something. But that’s just beautiful.</p>

<p>My APUSH teacher showed us this video the other day, and now I’m addicted. I’ve watched it at least 129478342739381 times. </p>

<p>[Too</a> Late to Apologize: A Declaration - YouTube](<a href=“Too Late to Apologize: A Declaration - YouTube”>Too Late to Apologize: A Declaration - YouTube)</p>

20

<p>AP funny story of the day:</p>

<p>The one kid I was telling you guys about earlier challenged my teacher to a rap battle two weeks ago. It was at the end of the class, and it was almost time to leave (Last class of the day) so she agreed. She looked at her watch and said, “OK, ten seconds…GO!”. So he proceeded to rap for 10 seconds. </p>

<p>Then it was her turn. So she had a towel (don`t know why) and she proceeded to wrap her laptop up. “I wrapped in 3 seconds and you rapped in 10. I win!”</p>

<p>Moral of the story: <strong><em>Always know which meaning of a word your teacher is talking about</em></strong></p>