things you wish you knew

Parent Cafe
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<p>I didn’t go through the thread because the first thing that bugged me was the question itself. </p>

<p>“Any regrets?” is a wrong way to start your college. In my view anyone who “regrets” generally get stuck in the past and have problem moving forward.</p>

<p>A successful person resolve issue and move forward making the best use of what they have.</p>

<p>So focus on making the best use of your resources, opportunities. </p>

<p>The proper question to ask should have been “What are some of the things you wish you knew or you wish you have done in college, after college, and finding jobs? How did you overcome the drawbacks of the circumstances?”</p>

<p>So if you learn from other’s experience then learn from those who were able to overcome and not from those who just express regrets.</p>

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<p>@GeorgiaTwins: THANK YOU! I’m guilty of not thanking others who have given me wise advice on this forum. Your words warm my soul and I will be doing the same for others!</p>

<p>@calimami: I wrote the post not knowing if the OP was male or female. I 100% agree that it is the responsibility of both partners and strongly advocate using TWO types of protection. But with today’s youth culture of ‘hooking up’ (yuck!), how can any male just take the word of a casual female friend or stranger that she’s on the pill? Plus, all guys should, and if not, the girl should insist, on condom use since they provide some protection against STDs as well as HIV even if the girl is on BC. Plus, how many males or females are aware or even concerned about the use of a dental dam? Statistically, few even believe that oral sex IS sex! </p>

<p>I’ve seen far too many college pregnancies that changed the future for both the guy and girl. Even back in the 80’s, I had 4 HS couples (close friends) who had to drop out of college and get married due to pregnancies. My roommate was infected for life by genital herpes by her boyfriend (and future husband). Since she was on the pill, she ‘assumed’ she needed no other protection. I’ll never forget (nor will she) her wedding day and the huge herpes blister on her lip. </p>

<p>I’d also like to add that I still need to get the legal stuff done (will, health care POA, life insurance, etc.) before college starts. My state is a nightmare is you die intestate. Plus, all parents should know their young adult’s views on organ donation. It’s hard to discuss but as a widow, I know the consequences if all your legal ducks aren’t in a row (though thankfully, my husband’s were). </p>

<p>@intparent: State banking rules may vary. However, my son did get a credit card last November after he turned 18 and is financially dependent on me. I had to co-sign but it is under HIS social and goes on HIS credit report. Plus, I’d rather he use a CC for purchases (especially online) than a debit card which has far less protection.</p>

<p>@musicprnt: Great advice! This is exactly what I meant about ECs. Some should be for just pure fun and meeting new people and some should be to explore your beliefs, passions and career alternatives. I also advocate a heart pumping, sports club to avoid the ‘freshman 15’. Making yourself go to the gym is difficult unless you have to partner pushing you to meet. </p>

<p>I also agree that college students (just like HS kids) can become ‘over-involved’. School is their ‘job’ and grades/studying ALWAYS come first. In many classes, you will have 2-3 hours of homework after every session which leaves little time for ECs and partying. So, choose wisely because it WILL be hard! College is a period of independently learning time management, selecting priorities and making tough decisions (no more parents to push you). All students should find a balance between socializing and school work. Mastering both social skills and work responsibilities will reap a lifetime of benefits.</p>

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<p>The person that you marry at age 22 is probably very different than the person you eould marry when you are 30. Give yourself time to really understand yourself and what YOU want out of life.</p>

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<p>I wish I’d done the assigned reading before class.
I wish I’d chosen a seat in the front of the classroom.
I wish I’d participated more in class discussions.
I wish I had developed relationships with my professors. It was possible; I just didn’t pursue it.</p>

<p>I wish I’d had some goals laid out in the beginning.</p>

<p>I wish I’d realized how much other people were accomplishing with their time. I would have felt inspired to do more with mine than sit around in the dorm or dining hall chatting, although I have to say I don’t regret those conversations or relationships. That might have been the best part of college but I probably could have spent half as much time doing that and had time to do some volunteer work, research, or something otherwise productive.</p>

<p>I wish I had not been so intimidated by my classmates.</p>

<p>After three years off, when I went to graduate school, I did just about all of the above–did the reading, prepared for class, sat in the front and remained engaged, met the professors, and set myself a goal of winning a certain prize. (I didn’t even know there WERE prizes when I was an undergrad.) I was much more successful than in my undergrad years.</p>

<p>“Be prepared” remains a very wise motto.</p>

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<p>thank you so much :)</p>

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<p>Certainlly wished D had gotten credit card in college. Would’ve made it much easier!</p>

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<p>^ Yes, part of my goal (besides starting his credit history) was to make things easier on me. My son signed a statement (since he’s 18) at our credit union allowing me to view all his accounts and transactions online (all are linked to my accounts). He also gave written permission for me to make debit and credit transfers between our accounts. (Why credit/withdrawal transactions? I learned when I tried to deposit a check he had received into his checking that I couldn’t get cash back for him without HIS permission.)</p>

<p>My primary goal is financial education, not snooping. For example, when I noticed that he wasn’t using his CC once per cycle, I urged him to do so as usage ups your score (and inactivity lowers it). However, I told him to never use more than about 10-20% of his available credit line per month since your score is based partly on % of available credit used. Before college starts, I plan to up his limit from $500 to probably about $1-2K since I know now that he won’t abuse it. Also by locking down his credit, he can’t go out and get other credit lines (such as retail store cards, other credit cards, etc.) </p>

<p>[Recent statistics state that the average college student graduates with $4500 CC debit (excluding ALL education-related costs). In other words, that a $4500 debt just for clothes, pizza, alcohol, bars, Starbucks, online gaming, etc. It’s MY job as a parent to be the teacher, give him a personal financial education, and audit his financial activity. Our schools certainly are not.]</p>

<p>I am definitely middle class but I learned early attaining my 800+ FICO score opened many doors (including lower loan and insurance rates) and I just want the same for my son. My Dad did the same and had me take out an unneeded $1K secured loan when I was 18. The earlier you start, the faster your score grows.</p>

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Yes, indeedy - the person I married at 22 was polar opposite of the person I married at 31!</p>

<p>:)</p>

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<p>So many good suggestions. Here are some others. </p>

<p>Do not be too thrifty- spend your money on books and activities- you can pay off loans later but you can’t get back the experiences you missed, books you skipped owning…</p>

<p>Enjoy the experience. Saturday night is for fun, not the library- we often found a friend there. I’ll never regret not studying the extra hour for a calc final instead of going for a conversational walk with a friend who transferred to another school.</p>

<p>Keep it legal, but don’t be afraid to try things.</p>

<p>The old girl scout song- “Make new friends, but keep the old, One is silver and the other gold” is so true. Keep in touch with friends made- years later it matters.</p>

<p>Move on from mistakes/mishaps. </p>

<p>Most importantly- enjoy the experience. No one can ever take it from you.</p>

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<p>I wish I had made more connections with my peers that had skills I would need to help me with my business later on. Also, wish I had applied for a job a couple months before getting my degree and put that I had that degree on my resume to get a jump on my competition.</p>

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<p>It can be tough to do, but eat breakfast and get enough sleep. Both help your brain and your body. If both of those are functioning well, it makes everything else much easier.</p>

<p>Realize you are only in college for a short time, and take advantage of speakers, events, concerts, museums, sports, etc. This plethora of offerings will seem normal, but in four years, you will be struggling to find the time and money to take advantage of similar opportunities–and they may not even be available in the location of your first job.</p>