Think I'm in the wrong place.

College Majors Architecture Major
1

I’m finishing my first year in architecture soon. I got good grades in high school, like drawing, and come from a line of architects and for some reason I thought that was good enough.
I’m kind of at my breaking point. I’m depressed and anxious. I feel disconnected and disinterested in my classes, no matter how hard I try otherwise. I called my mom back in October about feeling like this and she told me to chin up and keep going bc it gets better, and I wanted so badly for her to be right so I did, but I feel like I’m pretending and it’s exhausting. I just realized one day that I wasn’t enjoying any of it, and it scares me. I always hear that this isn’t the career for anyone who wasn’t Very Passionate™ about their work, and I see why.

A part of me thinks that it’s my (long time) depression and anxiety that’s just making everything feel worse. The other part is struggling to justify 20+ hour days, tuition costs, suicidal thoughts, not having any (literally) hobbies or social life, for projects that I don’t care about as much as I thought I would.

Somehow I can be so vague and yet take up so much space. Idk. It feels good to put this out there. What are my options? Stay; quit; take a year off? (Is that a thing people do once they’re already in university?)

2

What would you like to do? If you don’t like architecture, is there something else you would consider? Take a fun class for a change. My daughter took a course in fairy tales. She loved it and it divided up the monotony of her required courses.
It’s okay for you to discover that you don’t like a certain topic. At least you’ve discovered this before graduating and finding something that you like!

Please don’t despair. Take a little summer break to think about it. Look at the majors offered by your university and see if you can go off on another tangent of architecture-graphic artist?
Don’t be so hard on yourself because you are working and trying and studying and living and doing what you are supposed to be doing. Now, give yourself a break and be a kid again.

3

For starters, you need counseling immediately to address your suicidal thoughts and depression. Yes, that can cloud any decision-making and take the joy out of things you would otherwise enjoy.

That aside, I agree that architecture is not the right major for everyone. At my undergrad university, the architecture majors were up into the wee hours of the night working on models and other projects, far later than any other majors I knew of. I could always find my architecture friend in his building working away late at night whenever I wanted to see him. It’s grueling. Too much work and lack of sleep can contribute to or exacerbate depression.

There are majors in college that actually don’t require much time at all, and have few course requirements, with lots of room for tons of electives to take whatever excites you at the moment. I realize you have the weight of all the architects in your family on your shoulders to continue that tradition, but this is your life. Research the other majors. Take some tests for career aptitude, interest and personality, to get ideas of what might be a better fit for you and not be so grueling. About 50-70% of students change their majors, so you would certainly not be the only one doing that. Another major that is less demanding will give you more time to pursue hobbies and a social life, and try out more clubs and activities to see what interests you.

Also, getting a college degree can be challenging, and especially emotionally challenging the first year. You are learning how to take care of yourself, manage your time, get along with strangers in new situations, and find your place at your university. While it may seem like some students breeze through these things, there are plenty of students who struggle and feel challenged by it all. Your university’s counselor should be able to discuss these things with you also. In other words, don’t feel bad about yourself or your life, but rather see this as a phase, like going through winter before spring arrives in all its glory. There are brighter days ahead!

4

First and foremost, you need to find a sympathetic person to talk to about your suicidal thoughts. Your university probably has a hot-line or a 24 hour counseling center. Call them, visit them, get professional help immediately! Your problem may be architecture, may be depression, may be a combination or something else altogether. In the middle of what is obviously a confused and stressful time you’re not in the position to diagnose and care for yourself.

If you need to take a leave of absence from your course work, don’t worry, you won’t be the first architecture student that’s made such a request. It sounds like a step back from the pressure cooker is what you need right now. After you’ve decompressed, you can re-evaluate your choices.

Architecture school, especially if you’re in a BArch program, can be extraordinarily stressful and unlike anything you might have envisioned. Many, many architecture students drop out and redirect their careers, often into a design field that is similar but different. Taking a break and coming back to architecture after a digression is also very common. Believe me, nothing you discuss with your departmental adviser will surprise them.

I don’t know what the best course for you will be, but I hope you will take care of your emotional and mental health first, then worry about resolving your career and your family’s expectations.

I am not an architect, but the parent of one. In my son’s MArch class several students changed direction and went into other fields, several stepped out to work or travel then returned, several graduated but decided to pursue other fields.

The combination of abstraction and creativity that drive the architecture studio can be overwhelming to students who like clearly defined objectives. If yours is a competitive studio, the prospect of facing criticism can be paralyzing if you already lack confidence in the value of your work.

The primary observation that I would like to leave with you is that architecture school is NOT the same as a career in architecture.

5

I have a daughter not yet college age who is determined to do architecture, and she shares some of your emotional health background as well. Perhaps the mix of art, inspiration, and analytics that draws a person to architecture also predisposes them to other issues. I agree with the first responder…you are not isolated or weird for having these thoughts, and there is no stigma in getting help, any more than going to a doctor for a fever. Several of my friends in college were in a very demanding architecture program, and some finished, some did not. I don’t know you well enough to suggest whether the best course is to get a good counselor and support system and push through the program, or go do another design major which might be just as enjoyable for you and a lot less stressful. But I will say that YOU the person are much more important than YOU the degree/career, so don’t let your preconceived notions of what you should study/be drive your decisions. Let us know how you are doing!

6

Agreed. It takes a lot of determination to complete an architecture degree, and even more so to go through the process of getting the license. I have four engineering / science degrees and don’t recall working as hard as my daughter (graduate arch student).

I would take advantage of whatever counseling opportunities are available and complete the year. Then, take the summer off to have a good self-assessment look and see if this is something I would want to do.

In terms of social life or hobbies… well… The dating / hanging out scene is generally within the major. Few people outside architecture can understand. Hobbies… Some are OK. My daughter has taken up baking and cooking. She also found a cat to be a great companion.

It is rare that someone knows at this age what they want to do. Some do, but not many. It took me a while to find my passion.

7

I want to thank everyone for their nice replies. I also want to say that I don’t feel I would actually go through with any suicidal thoughts or self harm, I’m just scared that I would even consider them. I do still want to look into getting some kind of mental help or support or something, regardless.

8

Perhaps your family of architects needs a marketing manager or interior designer or a historian…when you think back, what types of books / articles do you find yourself reading? What did you love to do as a child? If architecture isn’t a good fit, don’t feel compelled to proceed. Take some time this summer to relax, pursue hobbies/interests and think about what makes you happy on a day to day level. Its ok to pivot and move in another direction.