Thinking About East Coast But Don't Know How To Tell Parents

<p>Hey, everybody! So right now, I attend a very good prep school on the coast of California as a day student. I'll be entering my sophomore year in the 2007-2008 school year. I do very well at my school currently, and I really do love it, but I've had an epiphany of sorts and decided that I'd really like to try applying for some top-notch New England prep schools to board for my final two years of high school. See the problem is that my parents aren't the type to send me off to a boarding school before college, especially now that I will have put in two years at my current school. I feel like I could really thrive at one of these schools, and its really only the concerns of others that would hold me back. I'm asking for any advice on how to approach this problem because I think my parents and friends and teachers and basically everybody will freak out when they hear. Thanks so much!</p>

<p>Also, I was wondering which school you recommend. I'm serious about my academics, but I'm also social and well-rounded in my activities. The school that pops out most to me is Exeter, and it looks amazing. Here's a list that I can just quickly think of.
Exeter
Andover
Choate
St. Paul's
Deerfield
If you have other recommendations, please tell me, or recommendations on where I might fit in best. Also, is it really difficult to be accepted as a third-year student? Thanks so much, and sorry about the long post. I really appreciate your help!</p>

<p>Hotchkiss is a great place.</p>

<p>i'm pretty sure it's considerably harder to get accepted as a juinor than a ninth or tenth grader because there's less space. what are you're stats?</p>

<p>Yes, concon, there are people here with SSAT scores of over 95 who applied to those schools you mentioned and got rejected at every one, even though they were years ahead in math and could have gotten in any other year but junior year. I'd suggest putting lower-level schools on as well, because many people accepted for 11th grade are geniuses, athletes, or have "Hooks" (i.e. URM status, long line of legacies, son or daughter of President Bush [just kidding])</p>

<p>P.S. I'm going to Choate Rosemary Hall next year as a third former (freshman). I would LOVE to answer any questions you might have. I'm going to PM you!!!</p>

<p>You would have a higher chance if you applied as a repeat 10th grader but I assume you would not want to do that.</p>

<p>Not sure which west coast school you attend, but if you are near the top of your class academically, and it is considered a "peer" school, and you have a good reason to transfer (a program or study not as good or missing from your current school), I would think that it would indicate that you would be a highly successful student at the school and increase your chance of admission.</p>

<p>You might want to ask on the board for any of the Andover/Exeter/SPS crowd if they know students who have transferred between the schools. You might get some insight there.</p>

<p>How to tell your parents -- gather together your research on how effective b.s. can be for a top-flight student, what successful people have attended (keeping in mind what traits/people your parents admire), and info about your top 3 target schools. Find out about Financial Aid, whether or not you think you'll need it. Prepare answers to the questions you imagine the parents will ask...you know these people pretty well and can probably imagine what attitude they'll take. You'll have to consider the popular view of b.s. as someplace only for the rich and/or snobby and/or troubled. Have answers ready for that too. Take a look at how the schools themselves advertise and their FAQs and use their answers, tailored for your particular situation. </p>

<p>Then sit your folks down when they are in a mellow mood with plenty of time and pitch the idea to them just as if you were meeting with investors for your new business...'cause you are! You might write up a bullet-point page for them so they have something to look at while you talk. Be straight-forward, business-like and open to their comments. Don't whine and watch your body language. Avoid falling into 'petulant teenager' mode. You're selling a product to people whose initial reaction will probably be 'no way' or 'she's not serious.' Find out their objections and discover ways around them. Don't be afraid to say, "I'll get back to you on that tomorrow" and make sure you follow-up. Don't dismiss their objection on any point, no matter how minor. Assure them that this desire of yours is not a rejection of them or your family but an opportunity for personal growth. </p>

<p>There are some really good books out there on selling anything to anybody. You might take a peek at some of them at your local library or bookstore.</p>

<p>And whatever you do, do it soon, because I know from personal experience that it will take awhile for a parent who has never contempleted boarding school for their young one to warm up to the idea. If you begin now, it seems more likely you will have the time to convice them that it is at least worth considering.</p>

<p>Thank you all for you're awesome advice. I really appreciate you spending your time, and it is certainly helping me!</p>

<p>I personally think that going to any of these prep schools in your Upper Year (or 11th grade, w/e) would be a difficult transition. This will be right in the flow of college applications, college counseling, and all that stress--and in addition to that, you'll have to somehow create a social life among relationships that have two-year foundations. Also, by the third year at Prep school, there is no longer any sort of coddling in terms of academics--it's just hard. Having said this, attending the New England prep school (more importantly, the New England <em>boarding school!</em>) would be an amazing experience for you and is completely a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If you feel passionate about your education and equally passionate about receiving this education at an East Coast boarding school, then you should go for it. You don't want to spend your life wondering "What if?"</p>

<p>SsPixie-</p>

<p>I have had the exact same thoughts that you have: going in at a difficult time, making new friends, leaving old friends, etc. These have all been concern, but I am confident that I would be able to overcome them. In terms of academics, I'm a very strong and determined student, and I'm willing to overcome challenges that I might face. Also, I've always had a very easy time making friends and finding my place in all of the schools that I've attended. Just like you said, this is something that I do view as a very valuable, amazing, and unique experience, and I've definitely considered my options, and I know that I would regret not doing it. I'm on the same page with you!</p>

<p>Since you've asked a "parent-type" question, I hope you don't mind if I give you a "parent-type" answer (from a parent). If I were your parent, the major question you would have to answer is, "Why?" What exactly are the benefits to changing schools and boarding? What is it precisely that you want to achieve? How would going to boarding school across the country help you achieve those goals significantly faster/better than staying in the school you're attending? And why is it worth the extra $20K or so that you'd be spending (money that would then not be available for college/grad school)?</p>

<p>You would have to have some hard information, and it would need to be more than "I think it's better", "I think I could thrive there" or "It would be an amazing experience." You would have to base your case on specifics about a specific school - the "I want to go East" is too vague for me to consider it seriously. And the fact that you don't even know what school you want is a big red flag for me - it tells me that this is a whim, not a reasoned decision. (It may not be, but without more information, it's impossible to tell.)</p>

<p>Until you decide where you want to apply, and what this particular school or schools can give you that you cannot get where you are now, I advise that you not even approach your parents. Do your research first, and then sit down and discuss it like an adult.</p>

<p>Good luck with whatever you decide.</p>

<p>Chedva-</p>

<p>Thank you for the advice from a parent's perspective. I've felt the same way, that my parents might question my motives. Am I trying to just get in to college because of reputation, or other reasons like that? I agree with you, and I've been doing a lot more research about specific schools and the benefits of each, making a more narrow list, not all of which are necessarily first-tier schools. Also, I'm going to wait a bit before talking to them because my grandfather is in the hospital as of a couple of days ago for what they think is cancer, and last night he had a small heart attack. With emotions and concerns precarious, and the added stress on my parents of my last brother at home leaving for MIT next year, I think I'll wait a bit until things cool down, and continue my research to have the best case possible to present when the time comes. Thank you though for approaching this from the perspective that only a parent could truly know because those are the same concerns that I think my parents might have.</p>