I’m really not happy with where I live at because my community college and community doesn’t offer me anything to make a girlfriend or friends. The only reason I am still living in the town I’m in is because the university I want to go to after I finish community college is here but I don’t know if it is worth it if I’m this miserable. I wanna move where there are more more opportunities to do fun things, where my grandma is, where my close friends I already have are at, and opportuniies to make more friends or a girlfriend at. I think until I was eligible for in state tuition in this state I would take online classes through my current community college or take time off to work.
It is key that your decisions make sense for not just now, but the future.
- It is the best that any community college you go to is in the same state as the University (if it is a State University). I doesn’t matter if it is in the same town.
- If it is a private university, you would need to talk to their admissions people to see how many credit would even transfer
- If you are talking aout going to CC in State 1 but your desired U is State 2, then once again, talk to the admissions people about how much credits might get transferred.
Basically in all these cases, you don’t want to make a decision where you take 2 years of CC and most of your credits don’t transfer. Haveing CC and Univ in same state is the best way.
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Make sure you really understand how state residency works for college. It isn’t easy. If you moved back to the state where you graduated from HS it would probably not be difficult to say you have residency from that state because that is where you probably do.
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Online classes: Make sure the college will accept them. Make sure that you are someone who can excel in this environment without the structure of a classroom. I was an engineer who had no issues in school, but I know that kind of environment would be a disaster for me. While others are focused and can do it.
That’s interesting, because in January you said your grandma passed and that you only have your mom and your brother, and that you don’t have contact with other relatives.
Care to explain?
It was my grandma on my dads side that passed away of the family that passed away ( I do not mention my dad because I don’t like to mention the fact that my parents are divorced) this year. It is my grandma on my moms side that I wish to move in with and I never mentioned her on here before because I didn’t have any contact with her for a long time.
@booper I’m currently taking one online class and don’t mind that setting. I also took a summer class online and did ok. I just need to find a way to get tutoring for math and other subjects that don’t come easy for me. My credits that I took at my current CC will transfer to the community college and university there. The university in my current state accepts credits from the CC in state 2 as well.
If you live in another state with your Grandma, won’t you be paying OOS rates to take online classes at your current cc?
No. I would just keep my mothers address as mine with the college.
That’d be fraud if they caught you. I’d say buckle down and get it done where you are. Every move or problem puts you further from a degree.
Here are my comments:
– Have you spoke to your grandmother about this? What is your relationship? You said you haven’t had one with her for a long time. Is she willing and able to have you move in? It would be a huge responsibility, expense, and life change for her to have a college age student living with her full time.
–The grass is not always greener on the other side. If you haven’t had a relationship with this grandmother for a long time how do you know it will be a move for the better? Don’t move just for the sake of moving.
–If you make a full time move you can’t keep your old address for college purposes. Agree with @intparent about it being fraud.
–You are struggling with some of your classes. I think that extra help (ex. from professors, TAs, review sessions, math center or whatever is available) will be much more accessible on campus than in an online program. IMO your best chance to get your associates year degree is to stay put and work hard.
–Your best chance to make friends is continuing at your school and taking classes with other students, not living with your grandma and taking online classes.
@intparent I understand your standpoint but If I’m depressed and can’t concentrate on school, shouldn’t I take time off and go somewhere else for a while? What If I don’t get into a four year college? I would then need a backup plan to do something else like a trade or an associates degree. My current CC does not have civil or environmental engineering technology but the CC in the other state does. College is only valuable if it gets you a Job, it doesn’t always, and in more cases these days college graduates are unemployed. I only want to go to college if I am pursuing STEM, something in the medical field, accounting, or MIS because those are the only useful fields that require college. I understand college may be useful in other aspects of life besides career and employment but you shouldn’t have to go into debt for that.
There isn’t a Sierra club or anything that is related to my interests in my community or CC. My only other option would be to move to somewhere else or commute to where there is one when there are meetings. What would anyone reccomend on this?
I hate to be all over the place Is it ever too late to start dating? I feel like I’m missing out on this or having a partner and I feel like I need experience to find the right person and it’s harder to do that since I live in a smaller town. Maybe I should make a thread on this topic.
@happy1 me and my grandma have a fairly good relationship. She pays my phone bill and we spent a week together over the summer. I would make sure that I am working to cover any costs I need to cover for myself.
You can’t get residency for tuition purposes in one state while using residency in another state to pay in state tuition there. You can take a gap year if you want, but then I wouldn’t take classes anywhere. How many more semesters do you have?
I still have several more semesters of community college and almost four more years of college if i do pursue a four year STEM degree.
I try not to say things that would identify me or where I live but where my grandma lives is just one state over. My community college is a statewide system meaning that it has the same name for all community colleges all over the state. She is so close to my current state that there is a community college with that name a half hour away from her house. There is a reciprocity agreement with with those two states and certain colleges under certain conditions. I was thinking I could move permenatly or temporarly with grandma and take time off until I was eligible for in state tuition there, take online classes through my current college until I was eligible for in state tuition there or moved back to my home state, or commute to that community college campus until I was eligible for in state tuition there or moved back home.
If you’re depressed and can’t concentrate on school maybe you should take a break from it. Are you seeing someone for help with your depression?
Yes but I honestly don’t find therapists helpful because all they can do is talk and prescribe medications. They can’t solve any problems. They are not their to be my friend and are not a substitute for friends or family and are only a temporary support because you are not suppose to be in it forever. They can’t help me find friends or family, bring loved ones that passed away back, help me get a better Job, solve any problems with college, etc.
Maybe a therapist could direct you to a support group, where you could meet on an extended basis and talk things out.
You are running away from a problem instead of trying to solve it. You have to pick yourself up and stay motivated to study hard and do whatever it takes to succeed in school. No one is going to be able to do that for you.(not your grandmother, a girl friend, or your friends) If you are determined to do well and really put in the effort there is no reason why you wouldn’t be able to transfer to a four year college. Set some high standards for yourself. A’s and B’s don’t come without any effort.
From your posts you seem unfocused and constantly look for reasons to leave school. Last spring you wanted to withdraw from school. It doesn’t appear that you are putting your best effort to succeed in school. I am hearing too many excuses.
You really need to take ownership of your life. Completing your degree shows employers that you are disciplined and are able to focus on a task and complete it.
Part of growing up is learning to become independent. You are now a grown up. Time to start taking responsibility for yourself and stop making excuses. Life is not all fun and play. If you want to achieve something good for yourself you will have to make sacrifices and stay dedicated to achieving your goals. For you the most important thing is being able to financially support yourself and your education is your ticket to your financial freedom. Do not mess up this opportunity to better yourself and don’t take your education for granted. It is truly a wonderful opportunity that you are throwing away.
If you keep withdrawing and having to repeat your classes you are going to run out of money to finish your degree.
Stop complaining and instead focus in on school and performing well.
If you have free time go volunteer and help those that are less fortunate. You will find out what real struggles people have to deal with and will maybe appreciate the opportunities that you have.
If your heart is not focused on school then once the semester is over find a fulltime job and pay all your own expenses. Your grandmother shouldn’t have to pay for your phone. You can get a prepaid phone for yourself. The best thing you can show your family is that you are focused on school, are working hard towards creating a good future for yourself so that they don’t have to worry about you because you can’t be dependent on them forever.
Your opportunity to go to school is truly a gift you have taken for granted. There are many people who desperately want to attend school but have to work fulltime to take care of their families and pay their bills. You just have to be responsible for yourself. Don’t expect someone to hold your hand every step of the way.
Moving is not going to solve your problems. There is no guarantee you will be happy or make friends in a new place if you don’t change your mindset.
There is unequivocal proof that therapy is helpful. “They can’t help me find friends or family, bring loved ones that passed away back, help me get a better Job, solve any problems with college, etc.” You are wrong, this is exactly what they help you do, by helping you to help yourself. NO ONE in your life will ever be responsible for finding you friends or help you get a better job, or solve your problems except YOU. No one can bring loved ones back, that’s ridiculous. The therapist helps you cope with the loss of loved ones.
The job of the therapist is to make your mind better. If you don’t make a conscious decision to do go regularly or do the things the therapist suggests, it’s no different from not taking your medication or going against medical advice. You seem to think a therapist is responsible for your happiness. YOU are responsible for your happiness, and the job of the therapist is to help you understand how to have that happiness in your life. Being blunt, you absolutely should continue therapy. If your current therapist isn’t working for you, find another.
I don’t understand why you have “several more semesters of CC and four more years of college” for a STEM degree. Are you part time?
You have to take ownership of the issues you are having. If it is health issues then you take the advice of a doctor or therapist but you have to be open to that advice and not dismiss it. You can’t just give up before trying and say nothing is going to help. If you have issues at school and the professors have office hours it is up to you to go and ask for help. If you don’t then you are not being proactive in helping yourself. If you fail a test that means you didn’t prepare well enough for it. You need to work on developing good study skills. Most students can’t afford to drop and repeat classes. It takes a lot of time and it is just too expensive. Develop those skills now before you transfer to a four year college.
Here on the forum you can ask questions and people can offer suggestions. You can dismiss those ideas or decide what I am doing on my own isn’t working maybe I can try this suggestion and see if it helps.
At the end of the day all the final decisions come down to you. Professionals can offer you advice but it is up to you to make positive changes in your life that will help you. Your quality of life and your happiness is dependent on the decisions you make for yourself in life.
Everyone has issues in life and we have to do the best we can under the circumstances we are in. No one else but you can decide what is the best for you.
what is wrong with wanting to be where my support is? all i’m saying is i want to move where that is. I’ve lived where my grandma lives before and it is a great city. but i do understand your guys standpoint on trying to solve the problem and not just running away from it because problems unsolved that are already planted find their way back and that problem solving is an important skill and that should be taken advantage of when possible.
no one is addressing the issue with clubs or where i belong. do you recommend being in some club or activity if it is not interesting to me (because there are almost none in my community) or commuting an hour to where there is a sierra or engineering club/society?
@Lindagaf i haven’t taken exactly 15 credit hours each semester but maybe 12-14 which is still full time but you have to take 15 credit hours each semester and pass them or take summer classes. my remedial courses i had to take put me back because most STEM majors start at Calculus I and that puts you back from taking other technical courses needed for the degree.
We don’t have a vision of your actual scenario so it would be difficult to give suggestions. Your best bet would be to make an appointment with a therapist who could understand your complete actual scenario and give you proper advice. Also make an appointment with your school advisor to discuss the implications in regards to your financial aid and how change of residency would have impact on your academic credits and college costs. (also your ability to transfer as an out of state resident)
Most importantly you need to discuss all this with your current guardian who is providing you a place to live and health insurance.
With you struggling in school I would suggest focusing on improving your grades instead of focusing on clubs and other social things. You first need to pass your classes. You can always start a club at your school if there isn’t one that meets your interests. Clubs won’t help you graduate and get a job. Community college is to obtain skill sets for a job and is different than a four year college experience which provides more social experiences. People attend community college with either the intention of getting a job after two years or to complete basic class requirements before transferring to a four year university.
My concern is that if you are dependent on financial aid with you dropping and retaking classes that you will run out of it before you are able to graduate and get a fulltime job. You seem to be struggling academically and are not able to handle a full college workload. Without a strong foundation in your basic classes you will struggle if you later transfer to a four year school where the upper level classes especially in STEM will be more challenging with a weak foundation. You don’t want to be on academic probation and later be asked to leave the school due to poor performance.
College is a time to transition from being dependent on family to becoming an independent adult. The challenges you face and resolve yourself will give you the skills to be fully independent in the future instead of relying on another adult. You are not building those life skills.
The scenario of moving to an out of state elderly relative (grand parent) is a bit of a concern because they are probably on restricted income and may have limited mobility due to health issues. Instead of being a support for you, you maybe expected to be a source of support for them. You never know what can happen tomorrow. The scenario may change and they may no longer be able to help you.
My concern is that once you withdraw from school you will never go back to complete your education because you don’t have the motivation to.
Please make an appointment with a therapist as soon as possible. I don’t know what else to suggest.