Thinking of withdrawing, advice?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Florida
1

<p>As my username describes, I am extremely homesick. This is my first semester at UF and I am considered a high school AA since received my AA while still in hs. I am having a tough time here... my college experience is going a lot differently than I thought it would. Even though I am not a freshman, I feel like one since I am only 18. I couldn't wait to leave home (which is about 2 hours away). But now that I am here, all i want to do is go home. I am naturally a shy and introverted person, so making friends has been quite difficult. None of my hometown friends came to UF. And the fact that I live off campus makes it harder for me, at least. My roommates aren't friendly and we all just lock ourselves in our rooms. I constantly find myself feeling lonely and depressed, wishing I was home. I have gone home every weekend since I've been here and I dread coming back. I only look forward to going home on the weekends, and it shouldn't be that way.</p>

<p>I can't focus in class and I have no motivation whatsoever. My anxiety is starting to act up again as well. I feel miserable and unhappy and I feel like if I stay here, my grades are going to suffer. I've been thinking of withdrawing since the first week, but I wanted to give it a chance. I know 1 month is hardly giving it a chance, but the last day to withdraw and get 25% of your tuition back is at the end of the week. I understand I am going to have to pay back my financial aid. If I decide to go home, I am going to get a job and go to UCF in the spring. It's a lot closer to home. My dad seems more supportive of me coming home than my mother. My mom is giving me a hard time and says that I need to toughen up and at least wait till the end of the semester. However, I don't think I can stand another few months here. Also, if I wait till the end of the fall semester to transfer, it's going to be a lot harder to find someone to sublease my apartment, compared to finding someone now. </p>

<p>I'm just looking for advice because I only have a few more days to make a decision and I don't want to have regrets. But I don't want to be unhappy either. Thanks in advance.</p>

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<p>@Homesick123,</p>

<p>What you’re feeling is normal and UF has support services available that will help. Please contact the UF Counseling and Wellness Center.</p>

<p>[Home</a> - UF Counseling & Wellness Center](<a href=“http://www.counseling.ufl.edu/cwc/]Home”>http://www.counseling.ufl.edu/cwc/)</p>

<p>You can speak to someone about your concerns, and they have some on-line tools to help manage anxiety.</p>

3

<p>Try to make the most of it while you are there. Join a club of your interest. Study at the library. Do not isolate yourself because you will feel depressed. Take a walk and exercise. If you go home every weekend I am sure you will be able to manage a few months until transfer. Maybe is not only UF your problem but the college environment. It is very hard for anyone, specially for someone who is an introverted to leave his friends and family and land in a big school like UF. I know however that you will have to work some of your anxieties there before moving to UCF.I do not see any problem in you transferring as long as you understand that you might feel the same way there too. I doubt that in UF, you cannot find other kids that share your same interests. See this last few months not like torture but like an opportunity to get out of your shell.</p>

4

<p>It’s a terrible feeling to be homesick but I’m afraid you’re doing way to good a job of isolating yourself among lots of great opportunities to get out of your self-imposed shell.
UF has tons of clubs for every interest–hobbies, professional clubs, classes to learn a new skill, gyms that are not only good for exercise but a way to meet people. So go meet them!
You say your roommates are unfriendly but from your description you have shut them out–you study in your room and then disappear every weekend. You haven’t exactly made yourself easy to get to know. Fix a dinner for them!
G’ville is not a suitcase city–students stick around for the weekends–football, parties, events–you’ll never get to meet or DO much if you keep running home.
Guess I’m a tough love parent on this issue–I was pretty shy and very introverted also and the only way to get out of it is to open up. Ask a classmate to eat lunch with you, join a club, and quit going home on weekends–make it your PROJECT to try something new each week. Just studying in the library rather than in your room is an easy start.
What are your interests and major? Maybe we could come up with some good suggestions for you.</p>

5

<p>UF is a very big place! You have to find ways to make it small by joining clubs and going to activities! Living off campus is challenging when you are at new to a school. Try to be on campus as much as possible and put yourself out there! You may still decide it is not the place for you, but you will have experience on how to engage when you transfer because the issues will be similar at UCF. Also, please do reach out to the campus Counseling and Wellness Center!! This is their area of expertise!!</p>

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<p>Well first of all you are a freshman… You’re 18 and you just graduated high school… Don’t think that just because you took college classes in high school means you’re different than any other freshmen (other than classes you’re taking, of course). This is new to you.</p>

<p>1) JOIN CLUBS!!! There are so many on clubs they are a great excuse to meet people. I really recommend a sport club or intramural team. You’ll meet awesome people. For example, the running sport club has practice every day so it’s a great opportunity to socialize
2) Join study groups for your classes. Usually found on Facebook, etc.</p>

<p>I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again… there is nothing like living ON CAMPUS!! Even if just for your first year. I am a freshman, HSAA also and I love living on campus. There’s no substitute for it.</p>

<p>Remember that feeling homesick is NORMAL… Everyone feels this way at some point … You need to get involved… Introverted people always think that not being outgoing is just how they are… when in reality you can CHANGE you just have to DO IT… </p>

<p>College is about trying new things and finding out who you are and who you want to be…</p>

7

<p>I transferred in with my AA and I have gone through what you are feeling. It WILL get better it just takes time. Everyday you go to class, introduce yourself to the people sitting around you. Visit South West Rec. Center, a good workout clears the mind. If you need someone to talk to just PM me, but don’t withdraw, you can do this!</p>

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<p>I, too, think not living on campus is contributing greatly to this. Is it too late to switch or to move on campus next term?</p>

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<p>You have received some great suggestions! I was also going to suggest the wellness center. They are well equipped to help you through. The dinner idea is also great. Get your room mates together for a dinner to get to know each other. Maybe they feel the same way you do. You’ll probably find you have some things in common. Don’t withdraw. At least finish out the semester. You do not want to waste the time and money. If you share your major and interests you’ll get tons of great suggestions. Seems like there’s a club for everything at UF (except non-traditional students, much to my dismay lol). You’re going to be fine, but don’t try to go it alone. Reach out for support and get out and make some friends.</p>

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<p>It’s still very early in the semester. Please get involved in something. Whether it’s a club, a sport, whatever. Just get involved! That’s the way to combat loneliness at UF… I felt lonely at first, but you can overcome it by joining something. What’s your major? Join something relevant to your field of study. For example, if you’re an engineering major, try FLEG! You will make great friends through there. Give UF a chance, and know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. So many freshman go through this… be strong, get involved, and take life by the day!</p>

11

<p>Take everyones advice to heart and the hec with the tuition consider this an investment in your future.</p>

<p>And by the way your family should be more than willing to let you blow a semester? You are 4 semesters ahead of the game so what is 1 in a lifetime? Nothing, zero, ziltch.</p>

<p>Get yourself out there and meet people no more staying in your room alone.</p>

<p>I am going to TELL YOU what to do next. This is not an option for you, so get to it. Consider this advice as important as a life saving drug. Take it to heart and do it:</p>

<h1>1. Right now call the Wellness center set up an interview with a counselor. They will guide you on what counseling to get. The great thing about the center is that it is full of students in your shoes. So call NOW here I even looked up there numbe for you 352 392</h1>

<p>1575 if they dont answer leave a message DONT HANG UP.</p>

<h1>2. start excercising a healthy body = a positive attitude. I dont care if you lift weights, bike, swim, run whatever just do it. (sorry Nike)</h1>

<h1>3. eat healthy stay away from sugars and high carbs they may taste great but the crash is worse. You need to eat healthy to feel better about yourself. I dont care if you weigh 120lbs or 320lbs everyone can improve on what they eat. Remember we are what we eat.</h1>

<h1>4. really hit the books I mean come on man. Are you kidding me? You are a freaking JR at 18 years of age. You are the KING on campus. You need to keep up your grades it is your passport for your future.</h1>

<h1>5. right now this very moment. Take a deep breath and look yourself in the mirror. Make promise to yourself that you will have no more negative thoughts about yourself. Remember you are special. Not only because you are smart as blazes but because you are a special person. Remember never ever to forget that. You need a good dose of the book “the power of positive thinking” you may want to pick up a copy. it changed my life and it could change yours.</h1>

<p>Now I hope you come back on and read all the wonderful advice everyone has given you. If you add up the years of exeperience of all the people that have posted? I can assure it is over 200 years. So dont take a word for granted. We have all shed years and happiness and we have done many things right, more importantly we have things wrong so listen to each word.</p>

<p>Speaking of family so you want to go home. Come on really? Sure it is great to be home. But trust me 2 or 3 days at home while everyone is away to school is a bummer. Same old room, family telling you what to do. No freedom of choice. Nah you dont want that. Remember the tens of thousands of kids that are at UCF and FSU that wished they were in your shoes. Damn right your special it is high time you realize it.</p>

<p>By the way I am a 54 dad my son is at UF. He is a Jr he felt bad his first year he got over it and is loving it. So dont think I am some whacked out parent giving advice without experience.</p>

<p>We care about you and want you to succeed. Get back on here and keep us posted.</p>

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<p>I graduated high school with my AA degree as well but I enrolled as a freshman because I don’t want to rush the college experience. To be honest, I’m an introverted and shy person as well, but I realize that as one of my personal weaknesses and I look forward to improving on it little by little and becoming more extroverted. If you want, you can pm me on this site and we can talk.</p>

<p>I’ve felt homesick and lonely too sometimes but it’s common for freshman to feel this way at some point or another. As the people above me have suggested, it’s a good idea to join an (active) club on campus to meet new people and have that feeling that you belong to a group. You can ask around, go to tabling events around campus, or check out Gator Connect for some info on all of the organizations at UF. </p>

<p>I think the main point of college is to find yourself and become independent. There are so many opportunities here, you just have to take advantage of them.</p>

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<p>There’s a tabling event going on today…starts in 15 minutes. According to the facebook post it’s the last day so get over to Reitz and find a club to join! I wish I hadn’t messed up and lost my spot for fall or I would go with you! UF is an awesome place. I’ve struck up conversations and talked to cool people just in the few times I’ve been on campus for one reason or another. Everyone I talked to was super nice. There is no reason to be lonely there!</p>

14

<p>Again, please do not give up! You can do it, but it starts with forcing yourself to go out and meet people. Go to clubs, go to meetings, talk to people, and eventually things will click. I promise. </p>

<p>And like others said, keep those grades up and start exercising. A healthy body and healthy mind can help prevent depression. Plus, you don’t want to fall behind on your classes and have more unneeded stress. </p>

<p>You will be fine, but you absolutely need to follow the advice of the people here.</p>