Time to just chill

[weatherga]

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@TheGFG

I definitely self-orphaned. It was necessary, painful, and important for me to become who I now am. My older sister avoided this process, and the result was pathetic. But I had an emotionally abusive childhood, and the author’s childhood sounds dysfunctional as well. She clearly needed the same drastic measures. My own children, however, have had a loving, non-manipulative home environment and therefore merely need to separate in the way all young adults do. They do not need an agonizing, gut-wrenching, isolating and lonely pilgrimage–just a regular old growing up. I don’t see how that relates to over-scheduling or helicoptering. It’s a different issue. There are evil or stupid helicopter parents, as well as good and wise ones.

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<p>Very well said! I think the author (I mean the Stanford prof, not TheGFG) does not allow for the possibility of a non-dysfunctional family. Does she believe that even people who have become wise and caring adults, possibly through an orphaning experience, will inevitably make dreadful parents? Would Jane Eyre be a terrible mother? While all people are flawed and the best parent is far from perfect, I believe with TheGFG that some families are loving and non-manipulative, and in such a family the offspring do not necessarily need a dramatic rupture in order to claim their independence.</p>