<p>I've always hated alcohol and partying. To me it's a waste of life and very dangerous. I've never attended a party (the ones with alcohol anyway) and I don't go to large social gatherings for fear that there might be alcohol there. I think people my age act irresponsibly enough as it is, and when they choose to impair their judgement and lower their inhibitions, I don't want to be anywhere near them. </p>
<p>I feel like the social scene of college, parties and Greek life, is overrated an I would rather not participate in any of it. The problem is that the college it looks like I'll end up going to (University of Alabama) is raked as the 13th top party school in the nation according to Princeton Reviews, and 70% of the student body does Greek. I've been told by many people that I'd be an outcast if I didn't participate in the alcohol and party rich social scene, but I'm really afraid I'll be miserable if I do.</p>
<p>The people who stayed out of this life with me in high school are letting loose in college. Even my best friend has already attended several frat parties, and he plans to fully be a part of the parties and Greek life. I'm afraid that if I don't do what everyone else is doing that I'll have nothing in common with my friends or most people my age in this area. I don't know if I'm being dramatic or if I'm just more mature than my peers, but I really need some advice as to handle this situation.</p>
<p>I'm excited about the academic opportunities at this school, but the social decisions I have to make are really stressing me out!</p>
<p>My advice? Give it a whirl and see if you like it. I was in your situation, but kept an open mind. Turns out the party/frat scene isn’t really for me. That’s not to say other neophytes (like yourself), even those with preconceptions, won’t end up enjoying it. Just test it out first by going to two or three parties.</p>
<p>I agree. If you NEVER have tried it, I would just give it a few shots (perhaps literally, ahaha). I’m not even necessarily talking about drinking, but parties can be fun even without alcohol, or so I’m told. Lol. If you really still hate it, I’m sure you can find other people who don’t drink or party. However, since you haven’t tried it, I’d say give it an open mind - you may find something you really enjoy. It’s not necessarily dangerous, and while dangerous things can happen, more often than not, everything is fine.</p>
<p>Being afraid of alcohol like you are is NOT “more mature” than your peers. So yeah, you’re being melodramatic about this. If you choose not to drink, then fine. That’s your personal preference. But having this attitude about it is not the “mature” route…</p>
<p>Alcohol is not dangerous like you seem to think it is. It is only dangerous if you’re an idiot about it.
I am what you would consider a “heavy partier” … but I’ve never blacked out, had a hangover (that may be a genetic thing though), or acted in a way that I regret the next day.</p>
<p>Avoiding parties just because there might be alcohol there? Now thats just a tad anti-social. Just make sure you know how to get yourself out of a situation if you need to and hang out with friends if you want.</p>
<p>Not everyone drinks, so it’s not like you’ll be alone. Additionally, I know a number of fraternity/sorority members who don’t drink and some who never have drank and no one judges them for it. Most people really won’t care, but alcohol is nothing to be afraid of. </p>
<p>Don’t knock it 'til you try it. Then again, if it’s a religious thing you shouldn’t; however, but it doesn’t seem to be.</p>
<p>I didn’t mean to imply that I thought I was more mature than everyone who drinks or goes to parties. I’m just a lot less impulsive than my peers, and I think that a lot of the superficial aspects of being a part of the social scenes usually aren’t worth it in the long run. I think drinking can be great in moderation, I’m not that uptight, I just don’t think most people at parties are very concerned about moderation. I don’t mind having a few drinks with family in an environment that I feel comfortable in, but I don’t know if I could feel comfortable in a situation with a bunch of teenagers/ young adults acting crazy and irresponsibly. I don’t know if all parties are like that though, I guess that’s what I’m trying to find out.</p>
<p>I’m trying to keep an open mind, I’ve even planned to go to the next party a few of my friends go to, but I want to have a little more perspective before I really make the decisions that could change my whole life.</p>
<p>Going from a life of intense studying and devotion to being productive at all times to a life of parties and more social interaction is the kind of change I was talking about. I intend to get into an Ivy league graduate school, but if I end up losing control or slacking on my studies due to parties then that could be a pretty big change. </p>
<p>My ideas about drinking and parties are based on experience. I’ve watched it ruin people’s lives. I know that not everyone is like that, but I’ve seen it happen so many times that I can’t help thinking that I could fall into the same trap. I am afraid I’ll like the parties and the alcohol and that they could get in the way of my goals. I know that my self control has kept me on a good path thus far, but I don’t want to put myself in a situation I can’t get out of.</p>
<p>UA has like 30000 kids. I don’t really drink, and I may end up there… All I’m saying is that you gotta believe that there are non-drinkers. will you be in the honors college? because that doesn’t have as much of a partyhardy rep.</p>
<p>My dad’s an alcoholic so I totally understand the fear and how it can ruin people’s lives. I will probably go to the same college… so I don’t really know what I’m going to do either.</p>
<p>If the OP doesn’t feel comfortable drinking, fine…nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>But the OP also needs to understand that alcohol is part of adult life and eventually he/she will need to learn how to function in the environment.</p>
<p>In my last job, alot of business was done at happy hour, the golf course, ect. </p>
<p>Of course, these settings aren’t as crazy as a frat party, but you’d be surprised, even adults act stupidly.</p>
<p>Millions and millions of people have partied and drank alcohol in college, went Greek, and still came out to be normal, functioning members of society. Instead of being so ignorant and close-minded, why don’t you try it out for yourself and then make decisions based on decisions you’ve learned.</p>
<p>Glitteratti: alcoholism is genetic. You shouldn’t drink, plain and simple.</p>
<p>OP: I party much more in college than I did in high school. So what? I work hard all week and enjoy a little fun on the weekends. I mean no offense, but it sounds like your main problem is that you are simply too uptight. Loosening up with a couple drinks and having a good time isn’t a big deal at all and it will teach you social skills that you will be very grateful for in the future.</p>
<p>I (being an Alabama native) know many people that have gone to UA, and I almost did as well. Yes the party scene is HUGE but at the same time there are ~35,000 people there. Do enough searching and I am sure you can find friends/ a significant other who also doesn’t party.</p>
<p>And I enjoy the irony of people calling you “close-minded” for not wanting to drink, when they are being close-minded by calling you close-minded because you disagree with them. No one can deny bad and dangerous things do come out of parties, so if you don’t want to go to one, don’t.</p>
<p>Also, to allay your fears of losing your friends, ALL of my friends drink while I do not. All of them. Yet I still see them all the time and hang out with them often in non-party settings. My girlfriend and I both don’t party and we are perfectly happy and definitely don’t feel like we’re “missing out” on anything. So if you fear being alone surrounded by alcoholics, I assure you that won’t be the case.</p>
<p>My best friend goes to a southern party school (not UA), and parties every weekend. She doesn’t touch alcohol. She likes dancing and socializing, but just can’t handle alcohol. So far she’s fine. If you don’t want to drink that’s fine, but don’t rule out going out and partying. UA is over 30,000 people, so you’re bound to meet some people that enjoy a good time without drinking as well (or people who know their limits with alcohol at least).</p>
<p>I go to UA. I really don’t think the party scene here is a huge thing. Me and my friends definitely party every weekend, but not frat parties or anything. Smaller house parties and such are much more fun, and I think there’s a huge difference between the two. Although I do drink, I really don’t think it’s a big deal if people don’t. But I do suggest you still go to parties. No one will care that you don’t drink and you can still have a lot of fun. My friends all drink but at a school with 30,000 kids, I’m sure you can find plenty who don’t.</p>