<p>so how i'm a supposed to express my passion on my ec?</p>
<p>If you are a Well Rounded Kid that is not a recruited talent or minority...without any particular zing in your story line or an easy identifiable hook, and you spent years doing a sport or community service set of things that may be duplicated by many applicants, I think you have to take some risks with your essay. You have to demonstrate a lively mind that any adcom can see the faculty would love to teach. Don't be polite the way we are raised in some homes..let the fact that you are passionate and even driven show through. You can touch on adversity, but show your mettle and positive outlook, too. It really is showtime, so your essay has to have elements like a poem..much must be inferred about your heart and your intellectual drive rather than spelled out. </p>
<p>Do not simply illustrate an activity that you are proud of..show your inner journey, conflicts, humor, motivations, and what lights you from within when you are doing a certain thing. Do not attempt to come across as a whole person..be OK with being a work in progress and being your own age. This is not like Rumplestiltskin..don't write like you have to promise your first born child and as if you are lock-stepped into some impressive sounding career path promise you are making on your application. State some directions you feel, some aptitudes you have and some doors you want to open and enter, but don't worry about convincing anyone about a future major or career. You have three to five minutes to present your Self to the reader. So choose something specific, but color your essay with your roots, your family heritage, some conflicts you experience and "don't be a stranger." Timidity is out even if you have been raised to hold back as a form of modesty. The reader is likely to be a person who likes people your age, but don't make the essay so dense that the reader has to reread a passage to get your meaning. Clarity and accessibility are the goals. You have to step up and dig deep and show what is special about your mind, your outlook or your drive as a student. It helps if you allow your essay to resonate with Place because adcoms are looking for diversity in place and for kids who will bring their hometown style and spirit to the campus. A little humor shading things is always good. Read one of those compiled "winning essay" books twice. Read Harry Bauld twice after that to get some skeletal structure to your little essay..very good advice in his book. Then write in your own voice. Read it out loud and see if you like the person you are meeting in the essay.<br>
good luck taking this essay challenge on..it is hard but a good essay can make a difference and give you a chance for reflection.</p>
<p>The most important single thing I saw in D's transformation to a halfway decent essay writer was her realization that once she hit "the topic" she wanted to write about, it was a heck of a lot easier for her to write. She looked like the kid with the lightbulb going off over her head. <em>DING</em> Eyes go wide. Oh, I get it. I'm not just writing words that are supposed to make me sound talented, or smart, or especially interesting, I'm telling them something I want them to know about me and I am talented, smart, and interesting. Much, much, easier time at my house after she learned that (although she still needs a refresher course now and again). </p>
<p>Example: She had a horrible time answering a prompt about the most influential written work. Bible? No. Some fancy poetry book ? No. Shakespeare? Dante? Donne? Some multi-cultural masterpiece? No. One of her popular fantasy sorcerers books? Heck, no. ----Gripe. Moan. Wail. Gnash. "Dad, none of those books changed me. I can't do this. I can't write this. This isn't me. I mean , I like them but I'm eighteen-honestly, none of them meant that much to me. As a kid I liked my Survival Guide more than any other book . I catalogued plants, birds, animals. Made survival packs. Spent hours looking for edible and poisonous plants. Camped out. Gathered different kinds of ......O.K. Nevermind dad, I think I have a topic now." :)</p>
<p>Faline2 wow your tip is excellent! i keep on reading it again! </p>
<p>back to my question, for ex. for stanford where they don't give you an OPTIONAL topic, where/how am i supposed to write about my passions?</p>
<p>Their topics are "open" enough, you just have to find a way to fit your passions in there.</p>
<p>I just sent you an email with a link that has many good resources about writing essays. But I wanted to reiterate here what I said in my email: don't try to write your essay with the goal of impressing an admissions committee. Don't try to figure out what may or may not <em>impress</em> an admissions committee. The best essays I've read are the ones that speak in a true voice about something that only you can talk about. This past year, I have read excellent essays about Marilyn Monroe, a father in Iraq, attending a concert, and weeding a tomato patch. What made them work, however, wasn't the topic - it was that who the writer was came through clearly in a way that the rest of the application won't allow. So, my advice: don't worry too much about what you're going to say or how to say it, just find a story only you can tell, and tell it in your own unique way.</p>
<p>FWIW, unless specifically asked, do NOT write about how great the SCHOOL is, and especially NOT about the facilities. They know their school is great ... but what they want to find out is the real YOU. </p>
<p>Also, when writing about your passion or EC, be careful not to provide the same information that can be found in your application or rec letters. The worst essays are the ones that read like a list of activities or try to be comprehensive. They do not want a clinical or analytical discussion of your first 18 years. </p>
<p>Pick a little slice of your life and keep it simple, vivid, and ... unique.</p>
<p>I agree with curmudgeon that my D's critical point was "the topic" and all of the gnashing of teeth that went with discovering what "it" would be. However, I strongly encourage students not to look for an "earth-shattering" topic. My D lamented for quite some time that she hadn't done anything "important enough" to write about. As soon as she gave that whole concept up, she eased into more "explaining by example". She decided that she wanted to write about how very insignificant things she did as a young child sparked her desire to do what she eventually wants to do with her life. Certainly playing billiards on a miniature pool table with her dad is nothing momentous. But, discovering, through his explanation of the path of the balls on a break, the physical principle of the law of reflection was momentous for her. My advice, don't try to find the one example of how you changed the world (or the world changed you). Look at what happens every day and how these things explain who you are.</p>
<p><a href="http://tinyurl.com/dmall%5B/url%5D">http://tinyurl.com/dmall</a></p>
<p>this is the best book on writing college essays that I've seen, and it's fun to read.</p>
<p>
[quote]
My D lamented for quite some time that she hadn't done anything "important enough" to write about.
[/quote]
quiltguru - exactly.</p>
<p>carolyn and nngmm thanks for the sites. i've read some books today at barnesnoble and the 10 essays i read sounded preety similar - not meaning boring, but very unique. their techniques are blasting - writing very subtle and like xiggi said, "pick a little slice of your life" * basically what these writers did. essays sound very very honest and wise.</p>
<p>However, I strongly encourage students not to look for an "earth-shattering" topic.
so agree with quiltguru on this point
Curmudge's girl's Survival Guide was her one true thing and it came through as a centerpiece to introduce herself
and if you read a compilation of winning essays, you will see they are "winsome" essays and each one is unique and new. If there is a missing link in your application, consider having your essay show something (a Quality in your essence, not an achievement) about you that is not going to come across unless you make it happen. Stats and EC lists are downright stupefying. My son was still writing his personal essay on deadline days so they were never edited by an adult, even though a great teacher offered to read and offer comments. I was frustrated by this, and thought the essay was a little too long and a tad too much work to plow through, but since no adult touched it, it had the ring of his own voice. He did a few of the Harry Bauld exercises before he wrote to get a bit more chiseled about his goal in the essay. He also left time for rewrites. Sometimes it is really a tough row to force out that first draft and then you need to take a day off and let your unconscious go to work, a sort of step back. Then a rewrite improved version comes to you clear as a bell, a version that does the job required may take two or three rewrites. I really think reading it out loud to a mirror will help you get rid of falseness and pare it down. Adcoms are seated with a heap of folders...don't make them exert themselves. all good writing entertains, so even in this small format, pose a question or a raise a conflict and answer it with a story or vignette. Make your voice as easy as listening to someone tell a story on a screened porch or at a campfire when talk warms up.
I printed two essays written by young whiz bang writer Michael Chabon and posted on his website for my son to help him get his aim the week he wrote his essay. Why him..I don't know..he is an intellectual whose good heart elevates everything. I also like Reynolds Price's wonderful "writes as if he is speaking" voice, the voice of a former child prodigy who sat on a porch and eavesdropped on a thousand rich conversations growing up, loving the people who were talking, and soaking up all the nuances of each person.
I guess I think the winning essay has to reveal something of your heart as well as your quirky unique mind. And since it is Valentines Day for 25 more minutes, I will also reveal my belief that all good writing has to have love as as subtext. It can be lost love, wrong love, misplaced love, quirky eccentric love, obsessive love, thwarted love, the end of love, memory of love. Even in this brief awkward college essay moment of time, Love Something and show it. Show what you love or reject, show how you love, show that you are wise enough to have loved something from home and that you will be a person who is going to risk loving to learn, someone who will love the new people and new vistas at College X.</p>
<p>my son's "passion" was skiing, on the ski team, taught skiing on the weekends for 2 years.....one of his essays was about waiting in line for first tracks early in the mornings.....about waking up without an alarm, about getting dressed in the cold, about all the "friends" he had made who all were first tracks addicts like him, a mini exclusive club.......and then about what the snow was like on the first run.......how rewarding it was to ski in the crisp early morning air and on early morning snow....
it was definitely his essay.....and like curmudge's daughter, once she zeroed in on the survival guide, she was home free...</p>
<p>my only other thought Kevster101 is you keep talking about writing with passion about a "future EC" ... I don't think the essay is where you write about something you want to do, I think it is about something you have done that has impacted you......otherwise you are talking about writing "fantasy" and not biography......it still seems to me as if you are trying to come up with a plan for something you can do and then write about it.......I don't know what the timeline is, ie are you a hs freshman? a hs sophmore? a hs senior? a 6 mos tutoring thing that comes out of nowhere is not something that will demonstrate commitment and leadership and passion...... I do think it will come across as a last minute attempt to build a resume.... if this is the case, then instead of writing this as a "look at what I have done" perhaps you need to write it as " I realized that I have matured enough to see a bigger world beyond me and i realized language is something I love.....and explain why it is you love it? just my thoughts....hope they are helpful....</p>
<p>Since we like to offer the advice "Show, don't tell" I'd like to add a couple of examples and comments. I mentioned that the worst essays are the "achievement lists" type. Hovever, there are other types of essays that come close to seize the throne: the jock essays and the nature discovery essays. While a few essays in the genre might turn out to be exceptional, the majority simply presents a hodgepodge of vivid imagery that, alas, falls flat because of triteness. Simply stated, write one of those essays, and you'll find it to be a carbon-copy of hundreds if not thousands of similar efforts. To add insult to injury, this type of essays are OFTEN recommended by parents or high school mentors with little experience in college essays. However, some schools also seems to like such essays and do not hesitate to commend them. See the following posts. </p>
<p>Here's one: </p>
<p>
[quote]
Follow the Leader </p>
<p>Her spry, Timberland-clad foot planted itself upon a jagged boulder, motionless, until her calf muscles tightened and catapulted her small frame into the next stride. Then Sara's dance continued, her feet playing effortlessly with the difficult terrain. As her foot lifted from the ground, compressed mint-colored lichen would spring back into position, only to be crushed by my immense boot, struggling to step where hers had been. My eyes fixated on the forest floor, as fallen trees, swollen roots, and unsteady rocks posed constant threats for my exhausted body. Without glancing up I knew what was ahead: the same dense, impenetrable green that had surrounded us for hours. My throat prickled with unfathomable thirst, as my long-empty Nalgene bottle slapped mockingly at my side. Gnarled branches snared at my clothes and tore at my hair, and I blindly hurled myself after Sara. The portage had become a battle, and the ominously darkening sky raised the potential for casualties. Gritting my teeth with gumption, I refused to stop; I would march on until I could no longer stand. </p>
<p>Suddenly, Sara's light step halted and she turned to face me. From her hazel eyes blazed an intensity of exhilaration and courage, which mingled with pride and concern as she surveyed my resolute expression. I watched longingly as Sara unfastened the Nalgene bottle from her side; one sip of water sloshed tantalizingly at the bottom of the bottle, heightening my senses into acute desire. Sweat poured down from my face, biting at my eyes, and after I dabbed at them with my shirt, I saw Sara was presenting the water bottle to me. Both anticipating and squelching my refusing, Sara said simply, "Drink, Stacy. You cannot help the group when there is nothing left of yourself to give." For a moment we grinned at each other, as gratitude and wonder for her selflessness coursed in my veins. The cool water instantly revived my strength and love for the trail. Then Sara removed the rustic compass from around her neck and slid it over my own. She swung her arm around my shoulder and raised an eyebrow, inviting me to lead. </p>
<p>Euphorically, I grasped the smooth plastic, flushed with pride that Sara believed I could lead the group to safety. Then ruthless doubt sliced through my enthusiasm as I realized that I completely lacked a sense of direction. Frantically, I tried to remember the idiotic mnemonic device for the compass we had learned prior to the trip: was it "red shed over Fred?" or simply, "Fred's red shed?" What came after I put "Red Fred in the shed?" How could "Fred" possibly make sense of this green abyss? I turned my confused face up to Sara's and saw the confidence in her eyes reflect the possibility of my own. In her smile I saw permission to fail, in her eyes the reassurance of success. I stared pointedly at the flickering red needle, oriented Fred, and raised the compass to the green. Without hesitation I pointed the direction onward and the group advanced. </p>
<p>A year later I found myself again in the land of the redwood pine. Only now ten bright, excited, youthful faces believed I had all of the answers. I was to be their leader through the wilderness; their guide to a world of awe-inspiring beauty, elemental priorities, and fulfilled potential. I fervently wanted to instill a love for the trail within each of my campers; to share the overwhelming appreciation of nature, others, and self that resulted from my own experience. However, apprehension whispered self-doubt: what if I wasn't ready to lead? What if my girls hated the trail? What if I was not strong enough? Suddenly the memory of Sara flared up in my mind's eye and silenced all doubts, her examples once again blazing a trail for me to follow. With her memory as my core to security and knowledge, I packed my campers into the canoes, and we set off, a camp song on my lips and hunger for the wilderness within my heart. Whenever challenges arose, Sara stood beside me; her rational eyes scrutinized the sky for advancing storms; her inexhaustible patience built a roaring fire out of wet wood; and her deft fingers secured fishermen's knots to hold up a tarp. Because her skills had built a firm foundation for trail life within me, my confidence now positioned the girls into lightening stances; my hilarity amused the girls as we huddled under the protective tarp; my voice sang reassuringly over the pounding of the fierce rain. At last, when a fantastic rainbow fanned the brilliant blue sky, it was the love of both of us that abounded the joy and fulfillment of leadership being passed on to a new generation. </p>
<p>
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Here is another: </p>
<p>
[quote]
The day before they were to depart Xiam for Bejing, 32 American students discovered that their reservations for the hard sleeper car (a step below first class) had been lost. It was the height of the holiday travel season, and the over-stressed Chinese transit system was pushed to the breaking point. After some harsh words and hollow threats were exchanged, the train company offered the students 16 hard sleeper tickets and 16 hard seat tickets. The students accepted the offer and divided themselves up. I was one of the 16 brave, unwitting souls who volunteered for a hard seat. The trip from Xian to Bejing takes about 27 hours. In a hard seat, 27 hours is a very long time. </p>
<p>"Hard seat," in theory, is a relatively comfortable and economical way to travel. A hard seat car consists of benches lined up and down both walls with a very narrow aisle in between. The benches are partitioned off into "seats," which is how the train company decides the number of tickets to sell. The business of ticket selling and collecting is where the theory of hard seats falls apart. Ticket counterfeiting is a very lucrative business, especially around the holiday season. An even cheaper, yet slightly more risky alternative to buying a real ticket is bribing the hard seat conductor just prior to departure time. Hard seat class, being the lowest class of travel in China, is more susceptible to bribery and counterfeiting than the other classes, so 90% of the illegal passengers on the train end up crowding into the last two hard seat cars. I was in the second to last car. </p>
<p>Upon boarding the train, I naively assumed that all of the people standing in the aisles were stretching their legs before the long trip, seeing off loved ones in the car, or just trying to put their luggage away before taking their seats. It was impossible to move from the entrance of the car into the aisle with all of those people standing there, so I didn't even bother trying. Once the train started moving and the people were still standing in the aisles, I began to realize what this trip had in store for me. I, being larger than the average Chinese, pushed and shoved my way to where I was supposed to be sitting. The 16 of us had 16 tickets for 16 consecutive seats. Unfortunately, when I arrived at my seat, I discovered that 25 people already occupied our 16 seats. It wasn't until we threatened to call the conductor that they scattered into the aisle and we were able to sit down. We had gotten our seats, but we had made 25 new enemies before the trip had even begun. </p>
<p>After about 45 minutes I discovered that no matter how hard I tried, it was physically impossible to get comfortable where I was seated. I noticed an elderly gentleman standing in the aisle next to me, so I offered him my seat and stretched my legs for a little while. I suppose my kind act did away with his inhibitions and curiosity got the best of him. Within minutes he began asking me who I was, why I was on a hard seat car to Bejing, where I was from, and where I had learned to speak Chinese. Before I knew it, the rest of his family had congregated around and we were exchanging names, stories, political views and anything else that came up. Before I knew it, the 27-hour trip was almost over. What I had expected to be a frustrating ordeal turned into one of the most rewarding cultural exchanges of my entire nine months abroad. </p>
<p>At 7:00 the next morning the train arrived in Bejing. I stepped onto the platform with a backpack full of things. Some were things I had left Bejing with a month before, and some were things that I had picked up along the way. My backpack, however, wasn't large enough to contain the memories I acquired over the month, especially the memory of my time in a hard seat. I took a moment to let the smog fill my lungs and the sounds of the city fill my ears. For the first time in my nine months abroad, I felt truly at home. My experience on the train was one of many that reminded me who I am, where I'm from, and where I'm trying to go.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>So what is the deal? Those essays were posted by Connecticut College, with the title Essays that worked.<br>
[quote]
Here is an excerpt: </p>
<p>The admission staff at Connecticut College compiled the following collection of outstanding essays -sic- to help you approach your own personal statement with confidence and excitement. Through the range of responses these students took, you will see that the essay - as a sample of writing and a reflection of your interests and values - can take many forms. Whilethere is not any "right" or "wrong" topic, some approaches offer a bit more creativity and fluency than others. The samples we have selected reflect this idea. </p>
<p>Each of these essayists was offered admission to Connecticut College, and each matriculated at the College. The writing samples they submitted often played an important role in obtaining the coveted "fat letter" on April 1.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Oh well, since then the two quoted essays have been removed, but others are still adorning the ConnCollege website.</p>
<p>Now you can judge for yourself. As far as I am concerned, my reaction to the "Follow the Leader" essay was ... pluzzzzhe, pass me the Pepto-Bismol. I could not imagine having a classmate telling ME a story and using those words: </p>
<p>"The portage had become a battle, and the ominously darkening sky raised the potential for casualties. Gritting my teeth with gumption, I refused to stop; I would march on until I could no longer stand."</p>
<p>One conclusion: it is important to know your audience. In this case, what pleases ConnCollege is quite different from other schools. If you like the style, chances are that they'll like you. However, this reflects the quirkiness of the school, not the quality of the essays!</p>
<p>Just another thought from my D's experience. She had written a few drafts, but got "stuck" and felt that her essays just didn't feel right. She didn't want me or any of her friends to read her essays. Instead, she asked two people who write for a living, but who do not know her well AT ALL to read them. With a few well-targeted comments from these reviewers, she rapidly "unstuck" and polished them to her satisfaction.</p>
<p>My D, an excellent though not stellar student, was recently admitted ED to a very competitive university. I think her essay was definitely the deciding factor. She wrote about one particular incident that led to her interest in her main EC which she has been actively involved with since middle school. I read through the essay, and did not change a thing - it was about her passion which came through loud and clear in her own voice.</p>
<p>whoaa thanks everybody! that's definitely another xiggi's method for successful essays! LOL. yes, these days i am trying to teach kids spanish since i lived in a spanish speaking country for a long time - and not im not hispanic - so that can be unique. i'm struggling on to get this going, but i'll find a way to teach young kids spanish in earlier times and not in high school. i have other ideas, blah but i'' not discuss it here. (if you want to see the thread, it's under parents forum called help from parents, nothing big though.. LOL) </p>
<p>anyway, thank you everybody. i hope to get more recommendations from you guys!</p>
<p>oh maineparent - don't worry. i am not creating fantasies or anything just to Impress adcoms. definitely wrong wrong wrong. tutoring these kids will be something i will accomplish and do it till my last day of senior year.. i have always wanted to do this. i will not discuss and write my fantasies in my essay - never. once i establish well this tutoring class with kids, it will not be a simple tutoring like other kids do in order to impress adcoms and fill out the EC chart and list. no, never. i will definitely show them i am passionate about what i do and that although it will be a very short list of ec, maybe 2 or so, i don't worry. if i get into something that i like very much, i get into it. passionately. i will never do tutoring just to impress adcoms. it has been something i wanted to do before and i am more than eager to sit down besides 3 or 4 elementary kids asking question and me teaching them with all my capacity and knowledge i have for sharing.</p>