<p>On the Columbia ED thread, one CC member, LOLSAURUS, celebrated an acceptance but also added: </p>
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to those deferred/rejected, this only means the open door to many more opportunities!
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<p>I thought that this was a very considerate comment and also true. Over the decades I've seen the crazy admissions process usually wind up in a "meant to be" kind of way, although this may not seem possible when bad news first rolls in.</p>
<p>So to those of you who receive acceptances this month, congratulations. I hope that you celebrate your success but, at the same time, will be sensitive to those around you who are facing disappointment.</p>
<p>The 3 schools my D applied to EA will be mailing decisions in the next couple of weeks. Unfortunately they are all low reaches for her so I am well prepared that they will most likely be deferrals/rejections. I’m already trying to find the right words to say to her for comfort, especially right before Christmas.</p>
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<p>And it can be hard to tell which words are indeed the “right” ones. Some students appreciate the sour-grapes approach (“You would have hated Hanover. It’s in the middle of nowhere and so cold” or “It’s their loss, not yours”). Others need to dissect the decision (“Do you think that B+ in Honors Chem really hurt me?”), while others don’t want to discuss the subject at all. Many will expect different things from different people (e.g., they may want to commiserate with friends but will clam up with parents). You can always ask your daughter exactly what she wants from you for solace … either now or after her verdicts arrive, if she’s denied everywhere. But as you’ve surely learned from years of parenting, you may need your Dick Tracy Decoder Ring to figure out her true feelings.</p>
<p>And if she’s deferred, a good strategy is that you suggest that she take time off from college mania over the Christmas break and then, in January, she can plot her deferral-reversal campaign.</p>
<p>I wish your daughter well. I hope she gets some good news, and you won’t have to deal with this dilemma at all.</p>