To all African American Girls: To perm or not to perm, that is the question...

<p>"So, I think that a number of girls get their hair relaxed simply out of convenience."</p>

<p>Braids, dreadlocks, and naturals of various lengths are more convenient and comfortable than is relaxed hair. I'm in my 50s, and have had my hair: pressed, relaxed, braided, short natural, large afro, curly afro, and dreaded. </p>

<p>The easiest style for me to maintain has been locs. Relaxed hair literally was a pain. My scalp got burned by the relaxers (My hair is extremely thick and nappy). i had to regularly use rollers or a curling iron, and I had to avoid being in the rain, humidity, and swimming. My hair also broke off due to the relaxers.</p>

<p>I find nothing convenient about relaxers. Either one goes through the mess of relaxing one's own hair or one has to go to a beauty parlor. I have always hated beauty parlors. Even if I had an appointment, I always had to wait a long time for service. I also hated the gossip, etc. there as well as the high price and long time it took to get my hair done. </p>

<p>As for locs, I had my hair braided in small braids with extensions, then I let the hair grow out into locs. After it got long enough, I cut off the extensions. Other than shampoo my hair and use a light conditioner on it and cut it occasionally because I don't want really long locs, I don't do anything special with it. It locs naturally, and I get lots of compliments on it including from college students. I've had locs now for about 7 years.</p>

<p>Northstarmom, you don't get them tightened? Not sure if that's the right term , but where I get my twists people are always coming in for "maintainance". I do find my twists more work than my TWA, as I undo them and have them redone regularly. I can't do them NEARLY as fast or as acceptably (?sp) as a professional, but I have to drive 40 minutes to the nearest place that deals with natural hair. I called for an appoinment a few days ago and they'd closed....</p>

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Well, I'm sure many of those girls in my class, myself included, would beg to differ. I find braids, locs, and the like unbelievably tedious and annoying. They were a pain to put in and a pain to take out. And even harder to find someone to do braids than to put in a relaxer... Trust me, I had them as a little girl and hated them. I got them over the summer and hated them even more. </p>

<p>Relaxers have always been the best option for me. They didn't break my hair off anymore than putting in and taking out braids did. I can swim with my relaxer and I can curl my hair in about 5 minutes. And, I absolutely love getting my hair done. Relaxers don't burn my scalp at all. </p>

<p>I go with my mom to the hair salon once a week and it is sooooo great to be around other black women (I'm not around too many of those in my day-to-day life). And, I never have to wait too long for service...</p>

<p>To each his own, I guess. I just don't like the blanket statement of "black girls get relaxers because they dislike their natural hair and feel that only straight hair is the beauty standard." Cuz, that's not how I see it at all. Having natural hair would be great in theory, but like the OP says, it was a pain for me in practice. None of the other alternatives worked as well as simply getting a relaxer. My choice has nothing to do with any beauty standard.</p>

<p>If you wanna talk about beauty standards, why don't we discuss the obsession with long hair, because I personally feel that this is something black women need to let go of...</p>

<p>Why shouldn't Black women have the length if they want to? White women get extensions all the time. The only difference seems to be is that I guess most AA's hair don't grow as fast naturally.</p>

<p>To answer the original question, make sure you will have the availability and money for a good salon. To get reelaxers infrequently is probably the worst thing you can do. Your hair type sounds eerily familiar ( ;) ) so my best advice is for you to keep on straigtening it - or blowdrying it with a comb attatchment - and then wrap it at night. This lasts me for a few days with just minor touch ups. I admit to knowing next to nothing about braids, weaves, hairpieces or anything else, but I do know at least a little about maintaining very wavy hair.</p>

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By all means, people should do what they want to do with their hair. But I think Northstarmom and I were discussing the reasons why people do what they do with their hair. If that is the same discussion we're having, Ariana, then the question becomes why are all women obsessed with long hair. </p>

<p>At my college, all of the girls I know who have their hair relaxed also have some type of weave, except for me. And they are all constantly asking me why I don't get braids (because it'll help my hair grow faster or why I don't invest in a weave). Now, this isn't an indictment against them or their values, but it just makes me wonder, why is having long hair so important. To me, my hair is completely fine whether it is long, short, or whatever. But to them, I am somehow strange because I don't share their passion for having "long beautiful hair."</p>

<p>And I just want to know why is there such emphasis on having long hair.</p>

<p>Black hair doesn't grow fast naturally? I cut my dreads off almost 1 1/2 years ago the front is up to my chin and the back is past my shoulders.</p>

<p>As long as you don't perm it or use a lot of heat (like pressing, blow drying) and keep it in a protective style every once and a while your hair will grow like crazy. </p>

<p>Agreed it takes along time to twist my hair. But it isnt hard just take two strands twist them together. Got somewhere to go put a hat on come back finish the rest. Few weeks later wash and repeat if I feel like it. A lot easier then sitting in a salon with cream that is burning the hell out of my scalp.</p>

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And I just want to know why is there such emphasis on having long hair.

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<p>Mostly as a sign of health. Despite the fact that drugged-out anorexics like Nicole Richie can still seemingly maintain a flow of shiny locks (with the extensive help of chemicals, no doubt), you'd have to be in a healthy state in order to grow long and luxurious hair. Obviously, this wouldn't apply to peoples in Africa, but almost everybody else in the world grows straight or moderately curly hair; when the world population begins to intermingle, people of African descent (mainly women) find themselves being held to an ideal that doesn't quite fit them.</p>

<p>^^ I agree. In almost every shampoo commercial, there is a pretty girl with long, flowing hair. Even the black girls in these commercials have long hair. I guess girls (including me) see this all the time and put on weaves and braids to conform.
To the OP. I have to side with hotpiece. I perm my hair, and it doesn't get damaged. Just keep it consistent, and I think you'll be fine. But it's your decision and chose wisely. Once that white cream hits your head, there is no turning back.</p>

<p>Options:
Visit <a href="http://www.nappturality.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.nappturality.com&lt;/a> for styling advice for your natural hair. I have natural hair so I am quite biased towards taking this approach. Also, try not to religiously flat iron your hair because you'll be doing nothing but damage.</p>

<p>I had a relaxer when I was younger. As someone stated, relaxers break down the protein bonds in your hair causing it to be not only straight, but much weaker. If you decide to take this approach make sure to find a good hairdresser that cares about not only style, but hair health as well. <a href="http://www.longhaircareforum.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.longhaircareforum.com&lt;/a> is a good resource too. My relaxed hair was fairly long, thick, and healthy (though not as healthy as my natural hair) because I had a good hairdresser and I also took care of my hair on my own. I have heard too many women complain that their hair is breaking and thinning and they wish that they still had the healthy head of hair that they had in their pre-relaxer days.</p>

<p>I said most Black hair doesn't grow fast naturally. Obviously there are exceptions. I've personally never had a problem with growing my hair. Instead, my hair looks real because it is real and people take the liberty of feeling in my head for tracks.</p>

<p>As to why women seem to have a need for long hair, it's just how it is. That is today's societal perception of beauty. I'm starting to love Sociology class already!</p>

<p>"Northstarmom, you don't get them tightened? Not sure if that's the right term , but where I get my twists people are always coming in for "maintainance". </p>

<p>No, I do not get my locs tightened. I am convinced that the only reason that beauty parlors offer such services is to try to make money. I don't see any reason to go to a beauty parlor to have my locs tightened at the roots. My locs naturally lock about 1.5 inches from the scalp.</p>

<p>Thanks for welcoming me Shrinkrap... oh I'm starting feel the love over here. LOL.</p>

<p>If you like having kinky or curly hair, I would say get a texturizer. </p>

<p>There's nothing wrong with perming expect for the fact that if you want curly hair again, it will take a while.</p>

<p>It's been my observation that black hair grows just as quickly as any other type of hair. (Mine grows as fast as weeds---at least it use to when I was a younger woman ;)). The difference is almost surly in the "perception" of length, because the crimp pattern of black hair makes it appear shorter than it really is. But, if you were to take a strand of natural hair and pull it straight, it would likely measure almost twice as long as it does while crimped. On the other hand, a strand of bone straight hair would measure roughly the length that it appears to be.</p>

<p>Another reason that black hair can sometimes appear to be growth stunted is because of breakage. If it breaks at the ends almost as fast as it grows, you will think it's not growing, even though it is. I read somewhere that black hair, by virtue of it's kink pattern is naturally more vulnerable to breakage when being combed and brushed. The extreme curl creates resistance against the pulling action inherent to this type of grooming, causing it to snap when overly stressed. This is why oils have been applied to our hair since anyone can remember. Oil lubricates the strands, making this them less prone to breakage and easier to comb by virtue of less resistance. This is true of black hair, even when it's never subjected to heat appliances or chemicals. That's why braiding has logically been used to tame our hair for centuries. Braids negate the need for combing and brushing for weeks at a time.</p>

<p>Hot combing and chemical relaxers are potentially extremely damaging, even though they make hair easier to comb and broaden one's styling options. Unless you sport a very short afro, there's really no way to have wash and go hair. So, for most of us, there will always been more involved in maintaining our hair than we'd like.</p>