<p>As a now college-bound student and longtime poster on CC, what strikes me as very uncomfortably awkward and even distasteful is when parents post "Chance Me" threads. </p>
<p>I mean, isn't it indicative of maybe even a level of obsessiveness when a parent starts to put out all his/her son/daughter's information and begs information for which colleges their children may get into? </p>
<p>I understand that this may just stem from curiousness/anxiety -- and hey, students do it all the time too. However, there IS a difference. Of parents that post "Chance Me" threads -- do their children know and approve that their parent is doing such a thing?
As a student, I would feel very marginalized if one of my parents posted a Chance Me thread here, without my request or even permission. </p>
<p>I can't bar any parents from doing this; after all, this is America, where you can basically do whatever you want as long as you don't infringe upon other's rights. But I just wanted to let you know from a student's perspective that a parent posting a chance me thread can be viewed as overly obsessive about their children's future and even nosy/controlling. Just my honest opinion.</p>
<p>You have a point, to some extent. Certainly some of the parents who post “Chance Me” threads are obsessive and controlling. I might even be one of them; that’s for someone else to judge.</p>
<p>But for others, “Chance Me” translates roughly as, “Tell me more about what this college looks for in a potential student.” The point, I think, is to get a realistic idea of whether a student is compatible with a given college, academically and personally, so that we can avoid wasting our money helping our kids apply to a college that just ain’t gonna happen.</p>
<p>My son has no idea that I post here. And since I don’t divulge his name, his school, where he lives, etc.–and don’t assume you can deduce those things from the information I’ve posted, because I’m careful to make that difficult–I see no reason why it ought to bother him. I like to think he’d be glad I’m looking out for him, since, like a lot of high schoolers, he is 90% clueless about the whole process.</p>
<p>^ Agree with limetime!! Most of us care a lot about our kids, and I think those parental “chance me” threads probably have to do with the desire to help guide kids to happy, successful choices (and to soothe our own nerves or steel ourselves for potential disappointments).</p>
<p>But some students have been “outed” here by their parents in great detail, to the point of being personally identifiable by random strangers on the Net. Probably not what most teens and young adults would appreciate!</p>
<p>I had no idea that parents ever posted in the What Are My Chances forum? Do they put What are my student’s chances? Or What are My chances?</p>
<p>I don’t even know why anyone posts there, actually. There are extremely few U’s or colleges in this country that admit by measures that others are in a position to evaluate thoroughly. It seems vaguely predictive for only the extremely qualified & the extremely unqualified. 95% of candidates are going to be (merely) qualified. And they won’t, then, get in on qualifications. Admit decisions for the 95% crowd are on comparative measures, and since we can’t see all the comparisons of the application pool, the guesses as to “chances” are as random as a lottery number.</p>
<p>I started participating in CC when my kid was going through the admissions process this past season. I don’t recall ever posting a “chance me” per se (laying out stats just for feedback on admissions chances). I am not too fond of these posts (even when it’s the student writing one). However, I did on a number of occasions characterize my child’s qualifications, interests, etc., in one way or other. This generally was to share with other parents and with students an exploration of the character of each school, and to discuss perspectives on the admission process (for example, the role of extracurriculars or the interview).</p>
<p>I often agonized about posting any information specific to my kid, for just the sort of reasons the OP cites. However, in some cases it would have been very difficult to have a meaningful dialog at a completely abstract level. I tried to minimize specific disclosures such as the location of HS in more detail than the general multi-state region, or in most cases even the SAT component scores (the M and the CR) when a cumulative score was enough to make the point. In quite a few cases, I started writing a post but then canceled it because it contained information that was pertinent, but too personal.</p>
<p>Students should realize, however, that going to college is a little like getting married, in one respect. It’s not just about the individual. Entire families are involved and affected. The institution, the processes, raise many issues in which families, communities, and the whole country have a big stake.</p>
<p>i think as parents we get all caught up in “cc world”. we read posts of kids being denied admission, or posts with kids with incredible stats and scores and see what type of schools they apply to …and whether we should or not, we begin to compare…and at times panic…omg he/she should have done this or shouldnt have, he should have more ec’s, better scores etc. You worry about an act score, ap classes etc and totally forget that in the real world (not cc world) the average act is about 21, alot of kids dont take any aps, alot of kids have no ec’s , that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a B.<br>
you try to find people with similar stats to your child and examine the path they took in order to get into the schools they wanted as after all, i think we are all here to acheive that goal…a good school for our great kids.
I will say that cc has helped in some very concrete ways… i have found out about great programs at schools we hadnt considered before and my child has really liked, great tips for the act (specific sections) and his scores did go up, information on merit aid that we need to know.
my son does know i post here and at first would roll his eyes but as some very good ideas and tips have resulted he now is very open to advice obtained here.</p>
<p>What I don’t like about “chance me” threads is that when they are answered by students and they tell a student not to apply or they are a “bad match”. Sometimes they aren’t even well thought out, the stats are fine, they don’t know what the admissions officers will do, etc. I used to try to tell a student who (at least in the post) seemed to change his/her mind, this is a loose guide, no one here really knows if a college will reject you. They can steer you toward past odds, but you will always find a student that beat them, even without a “hook”. Now the higher the tier, the harder it is, but again, the nastier the comments at times. I hope everyone realizes that books and web sites can help put things in perspective, but I would hope they would never not apply somewhere just because a student said they didn’t have a chance. The reasons for that are vast and the experience they have is minimal.
Caroline was one of the first posters that helped me as a mom get an idea of matches/safties based on scores and other factors, but also stated if you were in the ballpark or knew the odds, go ahead, just have safties. My daughters wont go on CC, justat times to look at SAT things, because their minimal experience was reading nasty comments from other students about a students chances at Yale or other colleges of less prestige. She said one student told a Brown hopeful, “Wont you be ashamed if you get in with your score?” That was enough for her.
I find a lot of things very useful, parents are a big help to me in financial advice, their opinions of colleges their children are in or looking at and students are great about sharing their experiences at schools, but the “chance me” angle seems too arbitrary.
One thing that is useful at times is stats of those who got great scholarships at a university that doesn’t post data, but again, was it just the 3.8/2000 or the fact he came across the country and was a needed tuba player…: )</p>
<p>Chance me threads in general mean absolutely little since most people posting are in the range of the school’s averages. Most of the schools S applied to (and a lot of the top tier institutions in general) admit kids in what APPEARS a completely arbitrary way so I have never understood why there are chance me threads except for others to applaud the efforts and accomplishments - which should come from within regardless.</p>
<p>This said, if parents didn’t post on CC, I am highly doubtful that the information gleaned here would have the same credibility. Parents are uniquely qualified in a lot of ways and this adult advice about schools, admission snafu’s and the rest become the most valuable aspects of this website. Most students move on after they get through the year of admissions or end up using it as a networking site after the fact as well as moving on to facebook. Any anonymity that one had on CC is gone on those pages. The point is, there are several parents who have been through the process several times and have an insight here that you can’t get elsewhere. </p>
<p>I always find it very indicative of a kids age and maturity when they judge parents for being on this website at all. Perhaps they are jealous that other kids’ parents take such an interest in their child’s education. Perhaps they are freaked that anyone would insert themselves into their child’s life. I am not talking about chance me threads, but while I thought my kids chances at certain colleges were solid, not living in a dream world was very wise when the end of March rolled around!! Let’s just say it was very nice to be pleasantly surprised by all of his options vs being bitterly disappointed.</p>
<p>I doubt students would have understood the nuances of endowment returns, bond values, presidential defections, and program cuts as well as parents in that line of work OR who have gone through the admission process multiple times. Unless the kid is footing the bill entirely on his own, I see no reason that the parents shouldn’t be as well informed as them - especially when most private schools are edging closer and some above 50K a year!</p>
<p>This obviously has little to do with “chance me threads” but the bigger point for me is that without the parents and other adults on here, this website wouldn’t be nearly as valuable to the process at it has proven itself to be!</p>
<p>I think that it’s weird and silly when anyone posts “chance me” posts. I always wonder about the intelligence and wisdom of everyone who asks anonymous strangers on the Internet to estimate odds of their getting accepted into college. I also wonder about the many young people who have no idea about the college process who think they’re being helpful to estimate someone’s chances of admission. Overall, I think that posting and estimating chances reflects the same lack of good sense that people show when they go to fortune tellers.</p>
<p>I’ve seen very few parents post chances posts. Sometimes posters who say they are parents seem to be students pretending to be parents as they post on Parents Forum asking for chances. I guess the same type of people do this as there are people who post asking for info for “friend”.</p>
<p>On a related subject: I always wonder about students who come to the Parents Forum to scold parents about what parents do on cc. If any parents are going to the student areas to scold students about what they’re doing on cc, I’d wonder about such parents, too.</p>
<p>I’ve also seen people give what looks like “bad” advice. I’m guessing it’s because they want to discourage others from applying to schools they themselves are interested in.</p>
<p>NSM has nailed it, as usual. What takes the prize are the posts (not by parents, by the way) that ask “chance me, and I’ll chance you back”. What? Why not be more direct and say “pay me a compliment and I’ll reciprocate”? It has nothing to do with usable information and everything to do with ego stroking. Maybe it’s a result of reality shows where the audience gets to vote. If so many people on cc say I’m a ‘lock’, then I’ll get in. I truly feel sorry for the student who goes into the admissions process believing what anonymous posters with no direct knowledge or experience have told them. I find it hard to believe anyone who has made it to the age where they’re parenting an 18 year old wouldn’t have ‘wisened up’ enough along the way to know better.</p>
<p>I should wear a bumper sticker: “Warning: I cringe for ‘chances’ posts”.</p>
<p>If any of us is good at predicting someone’s chance I think we all would spend a lot less time on CC, and try to turn it into a money making venture.</p>
<p>My son said grad school applicants are more mature but even more dire at times in predicting success…they will tell a student to “take a year or two off” because of perceived lack of experience because they in part want less people applying to their program. He knows students that had much less than others and got into Psych programs and knows it is more competitive by far but still unpredictable. I told him to try and see what happens, you can only try and re-group and try again. Luckily his forum experience was one day and he wont have the “grim reapers” discourage him.</p>
<p>I don’t like the chance me posts, especially not in the chance me forum. </p>
<p>IMHO, it is not quite so bad when a student posts on the forum for the college he is applying to, because then sometimes he gets answers like: “Your stats are very similar to mine and I got in” which can be nice for an applicant to hear. Not necessarily reliable as far as whether he’ll be admitted or not, but still, nice to hear.</p>
<p>Where I have most often noticed parents posting the “chance-me” type stats is when they are seeking advice to help identify safety and match schools. We are here to help each other, so I have no problem with those posts.</p>
Most of us care a lot about our kids, and I think those parental “chance me” threads probably have to do with the desire to help guide kids to happy, successful choices (and to soothe our own nerves or steel ourselves for potential disappointments).</p>