The $300k to pay for college plus 800k in retirement in your 40s makes it more doable. You still have more than 10 years to add to the 401k.
We did not choose full pay, but considered it. In the end, the full pay schools on the table did not seem worth the difference, but they also were not Harvard.
" I personally cannot see any undergrad degree being worth a quarter of a million dollars. "
I think this is the point that plagues most of us here. It becomes easier to say, yes… Worth it if your child is attending a famous “brand name” tippity top college, but is a much bigger pill to swallow as you go down the line.
Most full payers here have no regrets, but most are paying for top schools/top students. How about full pay for the B+ student at the $55K rank 30 or higher private LACs or universities?
Tough question @suzyQ7. The B kids usually don’t even get admitted to those schools unless they have a hook or something that makes them really, really special. And even then they are full pay. The B kids, in my view, are simply more expensive to educate. Curious to hear other responses.
Advice: plan plan plan. Scrimp scrimp scrimp. Stay married: divorces are expensive.
IMHO, it is much harder to justify full pay for a school ranked in the 30s or 40s than a top 20 unless a family is wealthy enough that the tuition causes no pain. Especially if moving just slightly down the prestige list gets a nice merit scholarship or comparable in-state schools are available. Also depends on the student’s post-college goals.
Those B-B+ students who are in the top 20% of their class, but not the top 10%, with good test scores are often just below the merit money cutoff which can be frustrating.
I have a B student too. We will be looking not at “Top 30 and down”, but probably much lower. And yes, it will be full pay. This ones “fit” will be crucial. Everything from SUNY to Sarah Lawrence is on the table.
BC we had no $ when I went to school, and I have the $, it is a point of pride for me to pay for them. If I have to work another 4 or 5 years, I’m ok with that.
I think it really depends on the kid. There are B students who are super intellectual and engaged academically, and would really benefit from a “this fits me perfectly” type of college experience, and there are B students who don’t like to read, would never seek out a professor if they didn’t have to, and indifferent to academics where finding a satisfactory fit which is super affordable might be the way to go.
I hate to paint all B students with the same brush- they are as different in their needs and attitudes and potential as the A students are (A student because he or she is super diligent, teacher’s pet, does stuff for extra credit, or A student because of a superior mind and fantastic curiosity/loves to learn).
I know I was the source of some irritation to my kids guidance counselor- we were happy to be full pay at some of the college’s on the GC’s suggested list, and I told him point blank, “Not interested in that college”. One kid was interested in engineering- and I felt the full pay/private college route in the second tier was “not worth” the money when there was a good flagship state U option for that (with better opportunities across the board academically). So I do get the notion that at some point— the idea of being full pay becomes hard to swallow.
But it worked because the kid agreed that he’d happily head off to state flagship vs. uber- competitive for admissions college if it didn’t work out. If your kid isn’t interested in the less expensive backup option, it becomes a harder discussion.
Combined Income at the time: 165K
Region: PNW - high cost of living
Retirement: Well funded and the house was paid for.
We lived modestly. Saved for college, but really had no idea what a private college costs wound up to be, needless to say we were shocked. Had only one child so could afford to spend more, we could not have done it if we had more than one child. Basically one of us worked just to send our daughter to college for 4 years.
Daughter went to Pomona, had the best experience and quality education. She went on to earn her master degree at a big flagship based not on the school but where she wanted to live. She did get into PHD programs but decided against it. At the end of the day we would do it all over again. I wished I had those opportunities and I am happy we could provide it for our daughter.
@blossom wrote
I agree. Our numbers look very similar to your numbers (although we have more in retirement), and our numbers say no more than 40k/year is cash flowable for us without touching retirement (which we absolutely will not do, since we don’t want to be a burden to our children in our dotage).
Our numbers say we are not rich enough to do full pay, but everyone has different metrics and valuations. I also have a very hard time paying “sticker price” for anything, and I have trouble seeing the value in some of the sticker prices at some LAC’s.
@oldbrookie: B students aren’t more expensive if they go to in-state publics.
I agree that the B student is more expensive to educate. I also agree that the OP’s question wasn’t about in state publics, nor were the responses that specifically spoke to the B student.
I do think that the A-/B+/B student can often benefit even more from a specific “fit” than the A student who might thrive regardless of where they are planted and to that end, it might justify extra $$. For my current B+ student, a large in state public is not at all the right fit. Yes, it would be cheaper. His chances for failure are much much higher.
We have a mix of A and B kids and our financing strategy is the same…right school, right kid, right price tag. One of the kids arguably would have had a very solid chance at a higher ranked school. Not only would it have been full pay (and more than we were willing) it wasn’t right for her. We look for the best school, at the best (subjective) value, for that kid, which was a top OOS regional with admission rates in the 30’s. She is thrilled and thriving.
For the current B+ kid, we too are looking further down than 30+. 30+ would be full pay. Merit monies for the B student seems to start around 70+. And there are a lot of lovely schools in the 70-100 ish range. Yes, he could get into some that are ranked higher. At full sticker price. I don’t see the value.
Even for an Ivy. I can’t see paying a quarter of a million dollars, plus. I really can’t. It’s not a popular opinion here but it is ours. Maybe if we had one kid I would feel differently but times 4…that’s a million dollars! As it is, we are looking at over half a mill for the 4 when all is said and done. Which is a mind boggling amount of money.
eanda- it’s not that your opinion is unpopular- life is not a popularity contest.
We were full pay for the reasons I articulated above and are happy with our choices. Our kids took full advantage of the opportunities at their colleges (academic and other) and were self-supporting soon after graduating.
BUT- it takes planning, good health (for both parents and kids), good jobs and the discipline to essentially live on one income and bank the other. I don’t claim to be a financial genius, but not divorcing helps. Having jobs with health insurance, life insurance, disability, and generous retirement vehicles is huge.
Doesn’t work for everyone and I respect their decisions.
It’s important to set the proper expectation with the kids. I’m quite a bit higher in income (unfortunately in SoCal though where you need it) but told my kids early on that I would pay for college but that didn’t mean a full ride to anywhere you want. Oldest is a high achiever and started researching schools early with a pretty good idea what he wanted to do with his life. I told him any UC was on me (or Umich, my alma mater) but any private schools he would have to sell me on why it would be worth the extra expense.
My concern as a full pay parent was whether it was really worth it or not. Especially with the UCs and lots of merit opportunities with his stats. I can do full pay without impacting retirement or our current lifestyle but there are still a lot of things I could do with that extra $300k so we needed to all be comfortable with the idea that it was money well spent. I’m not cheap at all but have been working my tail off since I was 14 years old to get where I am today. Income and retirement issues aside, I like to make rational economic choices. And now that we’re halfway through the first year at his top choice $70k+ a year school, we couldn’t be happier. He’s thriving, the school is earning every cent we pay, and I would do it all again in a second.
I appreciate that no one on this thread said that OP or the other posters should have no problem paying based on their income. I have been trying to make that point for years.We are within the stated income. We are mostly full pay for two kids at top schools and live in a high COL. It is very hard on us to pay and with word of possible salary freezes, reductions and layoffs our plan for funding our retirement is at risk.
The bottom line for me is that schools should offer more financial aid to people with these incomes in high cost regions of the country. There is much deserved sympathy for the poor student, but not for the student who will be made poor by going to college.
I think every family has its own value equation. We saw value in keeping our kids in private (independent) schools for K-12 despite having an ‘excellent’ K-12 public system. That 13 year cost would have more then covered any private college and grad school too. When college decisions came, the public colleges our son was admitted to (UMich, GT, etc) were significantly higher ranked and cheaper than the private schools for his area (engineering) so he went public (UMich) despite having his first choice as a private school (Vandy). As @notveryzen says, we need to make rational economic choices, and our kids as adults need to learn that too. Our family just came to a different conclusion.
@myyalieboy: Think of fin aid as a price discrimination scheme. Then it would make sense (even if it still doesn’t feel right).
BTW, even those poor kids who get “100%” covered by fin aid often have to scrimp and save and work to get through college.
lol, I only meant that not being willing to pay for an ivy is not a popular CC opinion. It doesn’t bother me that it is ours.
@notveryzen you make an interesting point. I know others who have taken a similar approach. One who will have 2 kids full pay HPYS. Their deal was that they were only willing to be full pay for certain majors for those schools. Aka they weren’t going to pay for a Humanities degree at 70k+. While I personally wouldn’t prescribe my child’s future that way, I can respect their reasoning.
@PurpleTitan Yes. I am not saying it is easy for poor students. But please note that though I am a full payer my kids work both during the summer and in school and yet we still have to borrow some to pay the whole thing. That is what I think is misunderstood about high income/ high COL parents. Also, I think schools forget that a high income now doesn’t mean you always earned that much money and could save a bunch.
@eandesmom I certainly wouldn’t and didn’t force my kids to pick any particular major. There’s nothing wrong with majoring in art history or ceramics. It just doesn’t make a lot of sense to pay $300k for that when the $100k version works just as well.
My point was not that fit should not be considered with the “B” student, but only that there is less difference among schools if not comparing a tippy top, high name recognition schools with a lesser school on academic quality. Of course size, course offerings etc may vary. That doesn’t mean that a kid that wants a LAC should be forced into a gigantic state school, if an affordable LAC were on the table. I think many B students are perfectly capable of blooming where planted and that finances are a legitimate factor in choosing.
And for those that think they will just work longer, that is not always possible. Job loss seems to be not uncommon for the over 50s I know and it can be tough getting a comparable job.