my $10 essay for jhu is about a day i spent with my friend alexis, and contains the sentence, “Since it wont worsen her opinion, maybe next time Im with Alexis Ill tell Mom, when she calls for the eighth time, that we are having unprotected lesbian anal sex on the back of a motorcycle, drunk and high, shooting up heroin with used needles and not wearing helmets. Shell at least have something on which to blame my red eyes.” i’m talking about having had an intense emotional experience with my friend and so having been crying but coming home only to have my mom yell at me etc… it’s sarcastic, obviously, and i’m just trying to lighten part of the essay. people i’ve asked liked it on principle and got the joke, but when i interviewed at hopkins the guy i was talking to warned my that my regional rep is at least politically conservative… am i treading on thin ice? is it worth the risk? give me email addresses if you want to read the whole essay…
THANKS
<p>The real problem is that I don't see what you stand to gain from it. Why take the risk if it's not worth it?</p>
<p>Many people say it is bad to mention any experience about drug, sex, or alcoholic beverage. If I were you, I would lighten up the essay by using more safe words like kissing and juggling at the same time on the back of the motor cycle or something.(yeah It does sound stupid this way, though...)</p>
<p>If you think that sentence is necessary.... hmmm...
I don't know...</p>
<p>BUt really If I were you, I would not expect much from conservative adcoms and would not risk many things :-)</p>
<p>conservative or liberal, that sounds kind of . . . risky</p>
<p>this reminds me of that girl a while back who wanted to write about her period in her essay</p>
<p>lesbian anal sex? is that possible without a strapon?</p>
<p>what do you think...?</p>
<p>Uhhh...I'm liberal, and that sentence made me uncomfortable...</p>
<p>It's incredibly inappropriate to be so graphic in a college essay. It will show really bad judgement. Also, it does not come off as light or funny at all. It comes off angry and mean. Teenage sarcasm is usually lost on adults, conservative or not--they usually outgrow it--it's immature. I'm extremely liberal and I think it sucks on many levels.</p>
<p>Im all for it. Hell, it makes the essay funnier, it sounds like you, and for better or worse, youll stand out. I will warn you that I dont see anal lesbian sex as a possibility. Seeing as how there is no ***** involved....think that one through.</p>
<p>i definitely think that would be a HUGE mistake</p>
<p>in the Gatekeepers, an otherwise qualified applicant's record was pretty much ignored because she admitted to taking a pot brownie once. Even if that was true and yours is just sarcasm, any reference to sex, drugs, and alcohol is a no no. They figure, so many kids actually do those things, why take a risk on one who admits it?</p>
<p>god i hated that essay from JHU</p>
<p>the point is that lesbian anal sex is, well, improbable... and the issue wouldn't be political affiliation per se, but ...but yeah.</p>
<p>ok. thanks kids. out it goes.</p>
<p>I bet Duke admitted the pot brownie kid...because in "Admissions Confidential" they ran across a kid who wrote an essay about her run-in w. the pot brownie and got admitted.</p>
<p>I have only read a portion of the entire essay and personally, from all that I have read and my own opinion..I think this essay is gonna bomb. The reasoning? It is a story that might be descriptive but would be considered vapid and childish in content. The intent seems more to shock than to relate any sort of meaningful lesson learned.</p>
<p>I would have to read the entire thing to see it in context, but from what I read: C-</p>
<p>wow that thing is way too bawdy for an adcom to read
you have to edit that thing big time</p>
<p>It looks like you're trying too hard to stand out by writing something so graphic. I say take it out.</p>
<p>I'm very liberal, but I definitely didn't get your humor. My guess is that what you wrote may work with some teen peers, but it won't fly with even very liberal adults.</p>
<p>In addition to not liking the graphic image, I also didn't like the picture I got of your being a person who turns to sarcasm instead of letting a close family member know about an event that touched your heart. This doesn't make you come across as a person who'd be, for instance, a pleasant roommate or colleague in a campus organization.</p>
<p>It may be that you have a horrible relationship with your mom through no fault of your own. However, without that context, what you wrote doesn't leave you in a good light.</p>
<p>Another adult opinion: like so many "brilliant" attempts to be clever, it sucks. Badly.
What it says to me is: Immature attitude, sense of entitlement, pain in the ass. And this has nothing to do with politics...I loathe George Bush to the core of my soul.</p>
<p>When we visited Tufts, one of the young adcoms that conducted the info session mentioned an essay that a young man submitted about his intimate relations with his three girlfriends. The adcom read the essay, and then went tooling down the hall to share this gem with his fellow admissions officers. It brightened everyone's day. The young man was not, however, admitted. Tufts is located in a blue state.</p>