<p>I don't think its risky, but my parents really do. My first sentence:</p>
<p>
[quote]
It was the smell of cow feces an unmistakable odor which quickly became the bane of my summer.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>The essay isn't about that tho. what do you think?</p>
<p>Lol, I somehow smelled the feces… but seriously, I think it catches attention.</p>
<p>that’s fine but its a bit wordy try cleaning it up a bit</p>
<p>“The smell of cow feces–an unmistakable ordor–was the bane of my summer.”</p>
<p>^nah, that syntax is worse. It’s fine to be a bit wordy in the first sentence to make it a bit more interesting.</p>
<p>But yeah, the feces is fine. :]</p>
<p>i like cacciato’s syntax better</p>
<p>I live in a small town up the street from a dairy farm; I know exactly what you’re talking about lol.</p>
<p>You might try gentler wording. Rather than what you put, try something like “The moment I first caught a whiff of that foul, unmistakable, bovine odor emanating from the barn (or w.e.), I knew it would be the bane of my existence that summer.”</p>
<p>Out of curiosity what’s the essay about?</p>
<p>Your sentence is not grammatically correct.</p>
<p>Why are you guys hating on the original sentence?? It’s not grammatically incorrect at all… The “It was” is a good transition rather than having “feces” as the subject of the sentence, and it sets up interest well. 
If you reeeeally wanted to nitpick you could replace “an odor” with “the odor” or “which” with “that”.</p>
<p>because the sentence is awkward and doesn’t flow at all</p>
<p>Agreed. It is worded poorly and could be phrased better. Nothing against the sentence itself, provided that it is placed in a way that works.</p>